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Concernedson88

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I'm a concerned son who just got a very disturbing phone call from my mother. She recently took a job as a leasing agent at a facility for retirees. She was not provided with a list of job expectations but was told in her interview that she was to lease units to new residents and assist current residents with leasing issues that arise. She as been having problems with her supervisor. She shows up to work 2-3 hours late and has told my mom that if anyone told the corporate office, "there would be problems." Basically, she threatened my mom that she would make her life hell if she reported her constant tardiness. She screams at my mother, sometimes in public while picking up supplies and postures in a physically aggressive manner. She hasn't hit my mother but my mother believes it will inevitably happen if she stays. She sabotages my mother's work by verbally accosting old and new residents. When the corporate office calls to inquire, she blames my mother. Everyone sees the problem but they've been too afraid to report her because she's friends with the owner and they think it will backfire on them. My mother recently tried to call the corporate office to explain what was going on and ask for help but was dismissed. Since then, I truly believe her boss is harassing her in retaliation. She has to go to the bank to deposit checks. Her supervisor has informed her that she would not be getting a lunch break on those days because she's not being paid to be off premisses all day. She's made comments to my mom about how she should go work somewhere else. And today was the last straw.... She came into my moms office, asked her to follow her, took her to the facility's mens restroom, and showed her where someone had defecated all over the toilet seat. She told my mom to clean it while she goes to Starbucks. My mom has never been asked to clean feces before and she would've never agreed to do this. She's never received any type of training pertaining to the handling of biohazardous materials and she's never even heard of an Occupational Exposure Plan. It's clear that this woman is abusing her authority to make my mother pay for reporting that there was a problem. My mom reports a legitimate problem and suddenly her job includes cleaning dried feces off the mens room toilet seats?? This whole thing is completely hostile and it makes me sick to my stomach that she can treat her this way. Is there anything she can do or should she just leave?
 
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commentator

Senior Member
She should just leave. Right now. Because there's really nothing illegal that has been happening to your mother. She doesn't have a case for any kind of illegal harassment or discrimination or violation of any labor laws. And it is obvious that the circumstances are not going to improve. Most people believe they have a lot more rights and privileges on the worksite than they do. There's no formal requirement anywhere that your mother be trained in the proper method of cleaning up feces before she is asked to do it.

Being asked to do something very unreasonable in a hostile manner is plenty of valid work related reason to quit a job. If your mother has been working anywhere else in the past two years for covered employers, she should file for unemployment insurance. If you quit a job, which as I said is what she should do in this situation, it is a bit harder to show you had a valid reason to quit, but if she continues to work there and put up with constant and unreasonable abuse (which they are doubtless heaping on her in an effort to get her to quit) it is going to seem more like she has accepted the terms of employment.

In most cases I advise people to hang around until the person they are dealing with fires them, but in this situation, I think quitting and getting out of the mess right now today after this unreasonable order to clean the toilet is her best recourse. There are other jobs.
 

xylene

Senior Member
I think your mom is simply not a very assertive person

She could take her lunch out when she goes to the bank. Sorry, there was a big line.

'Made' to clean the men's room? Do a 'feces' job. How hard would it be spray some Fantastik or something and then leave "all done"
 

Concernedson88

Junior Member
She should just leave. Right now. Because there's really nothing illegal that has been happening to your mother. She doesn't have a case for any kind of illegal harassment or discrimination or violation of any labor laws. And it is obvious that the circumstances are not going to improve. Most people believe they have a lot more rights and privileges on the worksite than they do. There's no formal requirement anywhere that your mother be trained in the proper method of cleaning up feces before she is asked to do it.

Being asked to do something very unreasonable in a hostile manner is plenty of valid work related reason to quit a job. If your mother has been working anywhere else in the past two years for covered employers, she should file for unemployment insurance. If you quit a job, which as I said is what she should do in this situation, it is a bit harder to show you had a valid reason to quit, but if she continues to work there and put up with constant and unreasonable abuse (which they are doubtless heaping on her in an effort to get her to quit) it is going to seem more like she has accepted the terms of employment.

In most cases I advise people to hang around until the person they are dealing with fires them, but in this situation, I think quitting and getting out of the mess right now today after this unreasonable order to clean the toilet is her best recourse. There are other jobs.
That's what I was afraid of. It just infuriates me that an unprofessional supervisor can intimidate and chase off someone who legitimately wants to do a good job. Such a shame!
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
That's what I was afraid of. It just infuriates me that an unprofessional supervisor can intimidate and chase off someone who legitimately wants to do a good job. Such a shame!
Look at it this way: if being a rude, obnoxious jerk was illegal, we'd need to imprison most of the adult population of this country.

(I'm not down-playing the utter shoddiness of how Mom was being treated - just making a point :) )
 

Concernedson88

Junior Member
I think your mom is simply not a very assertive person

She could take her lunch out when she goes to the bank. Sorry, there was a big line.

'Made' to clean the men's room? Do a 'feces' job. How hard would it be spray some Fantastik or something and then leave "all done"
I agree. She definitely isn't assertive. She's just the type that does what she's told and tries to get by without making any ripples. I, personally, would've told the supervisor to shove it. The bank run is company business and has nothing to do with her lunch break. She SHOULD be able to take her lunch break still.... It would even be reasonable to ask for mileage reimbursement for the bank run because she has to take her personal vehicle. But she scrubbed the feces from the toilet like she was told and she was upset about it because she knew it was just a punishment for calling corporate. She probably won't say anything at all because she's afraid of the lady. I'd like to give that lady a piece of my mind.
 

commentator

Senior Member
Try your best to make her quit now! Tonight. Because if she continues to work there, after all the things that have happened, the no lunch break, and everything else, including the feces cleaning, and then finally quits her job at a later date, she will have no chance at all of being approved for unemployment benefits.

It's the old "My boss slapped my face last February" situation. AT THE TIME the incident happened, the person had a valid job related reason to quit the job. But by continuing to work there, they made it seem that they accepted the terms of this job and the way they had been treated. And then later, when they do quit, they can't say that was the incident that precipitated the quitting, because duh, they hung around after it happened to give this boss another chance to poop on the toilet seat and make her clean it up, either literally or figuratively.

WHY would she keep on with this, when it is so obvious they're just going to treat her worse and worse? She's going to eventually have to quit. Try to persuade her to leave now, while she has a huge outstanding reason.
 

Concernedson88

Junior Member
Try your best to make her quit now! Tonight. Because if she continues to work there, after all the things that have happened, the no lunch break, and everything else, including the feces cleaning, and then finally quits her job at a later date, she will have no chance at all of being approved for unemployment benefits.

It's the old "My boss slapped my face last February" situation. AT THE TIME the incident happened, the person had a valid job related reason to quit the job. But by continuing to work there, they made it seem that they accepted the terms of this job and the way they had been treated. And then later, when they do quit, they can't say that was the incident that precipitated the quitting, because duh, they hung around after it happened to give this boss another chance to poop on the toilet seat and make her clean it up, either literally or figuratively.

WHY would she keep on with this, when it is so obvious they're just going to treat her worse and worse? She's going to eventually have to quit. Try to persuade her to leave now, while she has a huge outstanding reason.
Thank you so much for the advice! I talked to her again tonight and she's already managed to get an interview at another facility tomorrow afternoon! She doesn't plan on going back after today. Wish her luck! And, again, thank you! :)
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you so much for the advice! I talked to her again tonight and she's already managed to get an interview at another facility tomorrow afternoon! She doesn't plan on going back after today. Wish her luck! And, again, thank you! :)
Good luck to your Mom ... and kudos for being such a great support yourself :)
 

commentator

Senior Member
Tell her to remember that there are good employers in the world who will appreciate what she is willing to do. She will find one of them. And these ugly people will someday be just a vague bad memory. She doesn't have to give them her heart and soul and liver just because they're paying her. Best wishes to her and to you, keep being a good son.
 

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