sexual harassment

What is the name of your state?MO
i entered into a partnership with a man. i am a single mom. This business was started by a loan from HIS financial services company. He paid me a salary, so even though we were partners, he held the "pursestrings." Now, 1 1/2 years later, I severed ties, after numerous advances, nude photos sent in e-mails, references to sexual positions, gifts, & the final straw, roses on Valentine's day. I had told him on numerous ocassions that his behavior was inappropriate. My question is, can I file suit for compensatory damages, to recuperate the $15,000 I am now paying his company back on our original loan. Thank you in advance for your help!!!

[HomeGuru]

Originally posted by crystaleye
What is the name of your state?MO
i entered into a partnership with a man. i am a single mom. This business was started by a loan from HIS financial services company. He paid me a salary, so even though we were partners, he held the "pursestrings." Now, 1 1/2 years later, I severed ties, after numerous advances, nude photos sent in e-mails, references to sexual positions, gifts, & the final straw, roses on Valentine's day. I had told him on numerous ocassions that his behavior was inappropriate. My question is, can I file suit for compensatory damages, to recuperate the $15,000 I am now paying his company back on our original loan. Thank you in advance for your help!!!

**A: yes, but that would not be the best method to take.
I will let others tell you more.

Boy you must have great legs to make the jump from sexual innuendo to a lawsuit for repaying a legitimate debt.

Contact your states Human Rights commission, or the EEOC and file a complaint for sexual harassment and constructive discharge. IF they take the case and find enough evidence they will file suit on your behalf, and you'll get some compensation. However, the loan is still a legitimate debt that must be paid off under the terms of the promissary note.

thank you to all who took the time to respond...positively or negatively. i do appreciate your help.

You are very welcome. But I fail to see ANY negative response.

If you're referring to my response, what do you think a judge would have said to you if you tried to make that leap in court?

[HomeGuru]

And how would roses constitute sexual harassment?

Homeguru--The dozen red roses were sent with a card that said Be My Valentine. They were received at my home by my 15 year old son, who knows this man & his kids, & also knows how I felt about the constant shows of affection. He also had sent me roses on one other ocassion, a year prior, & I told him they were an inappropriate gift, & should be reserved for his wife or mother. I had several conversations with this man about his advances, & told him that in order for us to continue with the business, they had to stop. He sent numerous e-mails with references to BJ, photos of men with erections, etc. The business, though making money, was dissolved because I could not take the constant advances. I am consulting with a local attorney, but do appreciate ant other thoughts.

[HomeGuru]

Originally posted by crystaleye
Homeguru--The dozen red roses were sent with a card that said Be My Valentine. They were received at my home by my 15 year old son, who knows this man & his kids, & also knows how I felt about the constant shows of affection. He also had sent me roses on one other ocassion, a year prior, & I told him they were an inappropriate gift, & should be reserved for his wife or mother. I had several conversations with this man about his advances, & told him that in order for us to continue with the business, they had to stop. He sent numerous e-mails with references to BJ, photos of men with erections, etc. The business, though making money, was dissolved because I could not take the constant advances. I am consulting with a local attorney, but do appreciate ant other thoughts.

**A: the roses are of no consequence. The other stuff is.

HomeGuru,

I wouldn't be so sure about the roses not being considered sexual harassment. It depends a lot on matters of how they were perceived.

I'm male ... and was once almost written up for sexual harassment. I was in my break room. A co-worker had left a recent Victoria's Secret catalog on one of the tables. I picked it up and looked at the cover. It showed a large-breasted woman wearing a tight bra, bending over to pick up a pencil off the floor. Her breasts were pressing hard on that bra, too. I held it up to one of my co-workers and said, "Hey, Stef ... if Victoria bends over any further, the secret will be out."

We both laughed. But after I left the break room, a female employee who'd followed me stopped me and said, "I found what you said 'offensive'."

Where I work, any response other than "I'm sorry" would guarantee a sexual harassment complaint. So, that's what I said ... even though I really wanted to say, "Geez, lady, get a life."

[Beth3]

The roses as an isolated incident are irrelevant. However they may point to a pattern of on-going unwanted sexual advances, which of course is sexual harassment.

After taking a read through this thread however, we haven't established that the business entity crystaleye formed with this guy is even subject to discrimination laws. Crystaleye, if the company consisted of just you and your partner, then you're SOL. A company needs to have at least 15 employees to be subject to federal discrimination laws.

You may wish to see an attorney regarding the outstanding loan and the defunct partnership to see what your legal options and obligations are.

Alec, from a legal standpoint a single act usually does not rise to the level of harassment, unless it's a truly heinous act. Also, using the "reasonable person" standard, a one-time gift of roses is not offensive.

Your employer has the right to impose a stricter standard. Although any company that allows it's employees to leave lingerie catalogs laying around in plain view is asking for trouble.

[cbg]

To add to what Beth and Ramoth have said, legally a single act does not constitute sexual harassment unless it is either a "quid pro quo" situation or if physical contact is involved. It can be considered part of an ongoing pattern of behavior, but it is not sexual harassment in and of itself.

Your employer is entitled to consider a single comment as inappropriate and take what action s/he feels necessary. That does not mean that your comment, taken by itself, legally constitutes sexual harassment. And by the way, your co-worker had every right to find your comment offensive and notify you of such, regardless of whether you felt she should "get a life" or not.

Ramoth,

It probably doesn't matter ... but the name on the catalog's address label was the name of another female employee.

My employer (Federal) has a very strict interpretation of rules as they apply to sexual harassment. And, the "perception" of the offended person seems to matter most. If I'd told her to go fly a kite, I probably wouldn't have been fired. But, I would have been reported for sexual harassment and a letter-of-warning would be in my personnel jacket very quickly. A second letter would guarantee a temporary suspension without pay. A third letter would guarantee dismissal.

True story from my workplace. A female employee consistently came to work in short skirts which were in violation of our dress code. She was never written up for it. One day, she was working with a man. She dropped something on the floor and bent over to pick it up, revealing that she was not wearing underwear. The man walked over to her and lifted up the back of her skirt. Both the man and the female employee laughed it off and resumed their work.

The next day, the man learned that a sexual harassment complaint had been filed against him ... not by the woman, but by another man who witnessed the event (a Jehovah's Witness) and found it offensive. Because the incident was considered so agregious, the man was fired ... and no action was taken against the woman.

But, the man got an attorney and threatened to file suit because of preferential treatment ... that he was fired while a woman wearing clothing that violated dress code got off scot-free. The man was quickly re-instated with full back-pay (but with a letter of warning in his personnel file) and still ... nothing happened to the woman. She continued to wear her short skirts that violated dress code right up to the time she transferred out to another office ... and I can only assume she also continued to wear no underwear.

[cbg]

Alec, it's not just your company. It's ALWAYS the perception of the offended person that matters most.

The fact still remains that under the law, a single instance is not enough to LEGALLY constitute sexual harassment except in the two instances I mentioned. However, it is also true that your employer (or any employer) has the right to hold his/her employers to a higher standard than the law requires, and to discipline/demote/fire an employee for a single instance that the EMPLOYER chooses to call sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior, even if it doesn't meet the legal definition.