sexual harassment

[steiner_krista@]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NEW YORK
I used to work at my previous job and recently left. 5 months ago on a business trip my boss and i had sex. but prior to the business trip he was sending me emails suggestive sexual emails. I tried to ignore them but he would ask "did you get my email?, i didnt get a reply" so i would reply back "what are getting at?" mostly because i was embrassed of what he was trying to ask me.. i used to live with this man and his family when i was 16-18 and worked for him from 19-22. so march 09 business trip, we ended up having sex, mostly because i was worried if i didnt go along i would be fired or treated differently by him in my office. now he never said these things but i was having a rough spot in my marriage and he was aware of this Im currently sepaerated from my husband. upon returning from business trip he continues to ask me to set "play dates" with him,i agreeded to 2-3 of them because he was so pushy and made me feel wrong if i didnt. upon seperateing from my husband i begain to reconnect with a previous ex boyfriend whom i had been out of contact with for a few years, during this time [middle-end of april 09] i was making excuses why i couldnt not see him and would not set a date. he then HACKED into my sidekick cell phone account and read my emails i had exchanged with my ex whom i was reconnecting with and then send me a angry rage filled email. i have emails from when he wanted to set dates and talking about sexual thing. could i file a sexual harassment case against him? It was not like i could go to HR or anything as my company was a small business and my boss was well THE BOSS of everything there is nobody above him. But in the big business world he would have been fired a long time ago due to comments and jokes he makes.
--but i dont know if that would be wise,as my previous ex boyfriend whom i was reconnecting with became my current boyfriend had found a journal of mine where i had written about the suspions i had about my boss having affairs with other ladies in the office and about him having a secret apartment where he takes them and my current BF took this information and used it to attempt to blackmail my previous boss for money in return for not telling his wife of his misdeeds. he is currently arrested and being charged with Grand Larceny 2nd degree.--- would i still be able to pursue a harassment charge or could the fact that my boyfriend got arrested for blackmail would hurt my case?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NEW YORK
I used to work at my previous job and recently left. 5 months ago on a business trip my boss and i had sex. but prior to the business trip he was sending me emails suggestive sexual emails. I tried to ignore them but he would ask "did you get my email?, i didnt get a reply" so i would reply back "what are getting at?" mostly because i was embrassed of what he was trying to ask me.. i used to live with this man and his family when i was 16-18 and worked for him from 19-22. so march 09 business trip, we ended up having sex, mostly because i was worried if i didnt go along i would be fired or treated differently by him in my office. now he never said these things but i was having a rough spot in my marriage and he was aware of this Im currently sepaerated from my husband. upon returning from business trip he continues to ask me to set "play dates" with him,i agreeded to 2-3 of them because he was so pushy and made me feel wrong if i didnt. upon seperateing from my husband i begain to reconnect with a previous ex boyfriend whom i had been out of contact with for a few years, during this time [middle-end of april 09] i was making excuses why i couldnt not see him and would not set a date. he then HACKED into my sidekick cell phone account and read my emails i had exchanged with my ex whom i was reconnecting with and then send me a angry rage filled email. i have emails from when he wanted to set dates and talking about sexual thing. could i file a sexual harassment case against him? It was not like i could go to HR or anything as my company was a small business and my boss was well THE BOSS of everything there is nobody above him. But in the big business world he would have been fired a long time ago due to comments and jokes he makes.
--but i dont know if that would be wise,as my previous ex boyfriend whom i was reconnecting with became my current boyfriend had found a journal of mine where i had written about the suspions i had about my boss having affairs with other ladies in the office and about him having a secret apartment where he takes them and my current BF took this information and used it to attempt to blackmail my previous boss for money in return for not telling his wife of his misdeeds. he is currently arrested and being charged with Grand Larceny 2nd degree.--- would i still be able to pursue a harassment charge or could the fact that my boyfriend got arrested for blackmail would hurt my case?

You don't work there anymore; you cannot pursue a harrassment claim.

Your boyfriend is a criminal, and from the sounds of your last post your hands are not exactly clean.

 

[steiner_krista@]

reply

because it was office gossip and i was not the only person who had suspions of what was going on between the boss and 2 other ladies i had told my boyfriend, i never told him about the secret apartment or the relation i had with my boss. i never knew he was thinking to do such a thing, i know the legal consenques for something like this. I am on probation and would never agree to anything like this because my freedom is all i have and i would never risk it for anybody.

 

[ecmst12]

You don't work there anymore; you cannot pursue a harrassment claim.

That's not true, you have 180 days from the date of the last episode of harassment to file a complaint with the EEOC. You don't have to still be working there. But the post was hard to understand so I'm not really sure if OP can prove any damages from the harassment or has any kind of a case.

 

[steiner_krista@]

reply -lawsuits

"Lawsuits are not about justice. They are about MONEY. If you don't want money, then you shouldn't be thinking about suing. And people post here because they are thinking about suing. Because they want money, no matter how much they don't want to admit that to themselves."---O no for me its not about the money its about proving that this " good christian man" is not who is really is and that he is a fake.

 

[Antigone*]

---O no for me its not about the money its about proving that this " good christian man" is not who is really is and that he is a fake.

I do apologize for the misinformation.

Think about it though, are you in any position to be throwing stones

 

[steiner_krista@]

reply

my boyfriends lawyer has asked me about my previous boss and how he behaved and actions so i told her everything what i know. how he treats the employees, ex; yells n screams in front of office if you make a mistake but will praise you in his office if you did good job, he has even punched a wall on time when he was mad at a employee. i told her about the affairs and i even came out with what happened to me between him n myself. I did this because the Prosocurter was saying that my boss is rightous man who did none of these things and that my boyfriend was making things up and trying to get money from him. but i didnt understand was why did my boss go thru with giving him the money if he claims that my boyfriend was making things up? i never directly told my boyfriend anything besides the fact i thought he was sleeping with these 2 ladies in the office.

 

[OldandTired]

we ended up having sex,**************.. i agreeded to 2-3 of them

No clean hands here, and the rest I'll politely keep to myself.

 

[ecmst12]

You don't get justice from a lawsuit. If you win, all you get is money. And considering how unclean your hands indeed are in this matter, even that is unlikely. May be best to just put it behind you and move on.

 

[You Are Guilty]

I don't think I've ever seen a sexual harassment case won when there is an (admitted) continuing pattern of sexual relations between the parties. (See, it sort of hurts whatever credibility you had when, after the first time or even two, you continue to bone your boss.)

On the other hand, if all you're ultimately after is to publicly air the former boss' dirty laundry, have at it. Just remember, your dirty laundry was in the same machine

 

[Beth3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NEW YORK
I used to work at my previous job and recently left. 5 months ago on a business trip my boss and i had sex. but prior to the business trip he was sending me emails suggestive sexual emails. I tried to ignore them but he would ask "did you get my email?, i didnt get a reply" so i would reply back "what are getting at?" mostly because i was embrassed of what he was trying to ask me.. i used to live with this man and his family when i was 16-18 and worked for him from 19-22. so march 09 business trip, we ended up having sex, mostly because i was worried if i didnt go along i would be fired or treated differently by him in my office. now he never said these things but i was having a rough spot in my marriage and he was aware of this Im currently sepaerated from my husband. upon returning from business trip he continues to ask me to set "play dates" with him,i agreeded to 2-3 of them because he was so pushy and made me feel wrong if i didnt. upon seperateing from my husband i begain to reconnect with a previous ex boyfriend whom i had been out of contact with for a few years, during this time [middle-end of april 09] i was making excuses why i couldnt not see him and would not set a date. he then HACKED into my sidekick cell phone account and read my emails i had exchanged with my ex whom i was reconnecting with and then send me a angry rage filled email. i have emails from when he wanted to set dates and talking about sexual thing. could i file a sexual harassment case against him? It was not like i could go to HR or anything as my company was a small business and my boss was well THE BOSS of everything there is nobody above him. But in the big business world he would have been fired a long time ago due to comments and jokes he makes.
--but i dont know if that would be wise,as my previous ex boyfriend whom i was reconnecting with became my current boyfriend had found a journal of mine where i had written about the suspions i had about my boss having affairs with other ladies in the office and about him having a secret apartment where he takes them and my current BF took this information and used it to attempt to blackmail my previous boss for money in return for not telling his wife of his misdeeds. he is currently arrested and being charged with Grand Larceny 2nd degree.--- would i still be able to pursue a harassment charge or could the fact that my boyfriend got arrested for blackmail would hurt my case?

Wow. That is one hot mess. If you want to discuss taking legal action against the boss for SH, I can only suggest that you see an employment law attorney. And yes, I do think that your BF attempting to blackmail the boss is going to materially damage any claim you attempt to bring. If I were the boss's attorney, I imagine the argument I'd make is that you voluntarily engaged in an affair with the boss (or even seduced him) in order to come up with the goods for your BF to blackmail the boss. I expect anyone would be hard-pressed to believe you were just an innocent bystander in all this.

When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.