Workplace bullying

[gianna1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I am being bullied by my co-worker for about 3 years. She often makes offensive remarks about my appearance. She offends me all day long to the point I can't concentrate on work. She is an evil woman verbally abusing me, calling me ugly and other offensive things. She never abused me physically nor threatened me. She only abuses me verbally.
I don't belong to any protected class either. But I have even developed depression and anxiety due to severe bullying and now I have to take antidepressants.

Can I take legal action against my co-worker? Is there something I can do?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I am being bullied by my co-worker for about 3 years. She often makes offensive remarks about my appearance. She offends me all day long to the point I can't concentrate on work. She is an evil woman verbally abusing me, calling me ugly and other offensive things. She never abused me physically nor threatened me. She only abuses me verbally.
I don't belong to any protected class either. But I have even developed depression and anxiety due to severe bullying and now I have to take antidepressants.

Can I take legal action against my co-worker? Is there something I can do?

Have you reported this to the Human Resources department?

 

[Eekamouse]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona

I am being bullied by my co-worker for about 3 years. She often makes offensive remarks about my appearance. She offends me all day long to the point I can't concentrate on work. She is an evil woman verbally abusing me, calling me ugly and other offensive things. She never abused me physically nor threatened me. She only abuses me verbally.
I don't belong to any protected class either. But I have even developed depression and anxiety due to severe bullying and now I have to take antidepressants.

Can I take legal action against my co-worker? Is there something I can do?

There's no law she is breaking. People can be unpleasant to others. It's still legal. Grow a thicker skin or complain to HR or maybe look for another job for yourself.

 

[Just Blue]

There's no law she is breaking. People can be unpleasant to others. It's still legal. Grow a thicker skin or complain to HR or maybe look for another job for yourself.

I agree. If I were OP I would tell that co-worker to go have sex with his/herself. But the best way to deal with this situation is to find another place to work.

 

[gianna1]

Have you reported this to the Human Resources department?

Yes. I reported the bully to HR, they tried to solve the problem, and she was told to stop with the bullying behaviour. She stopped bullying me for 2 months and then she started bullying me again. I went to HR again and complained about my co-worker continuously bullying me and they told me there's nothing they can do anymore and I should learn to deal with bullying. I think nobody should be forced to deal with bullying. I am extremely stressed and tired of this mental torture.

 

[cbg]

If she is not doing anything illegal, and it does not appear that she is according to law, be prepared for your employer (including HR) to tell you that making all your co-workers play nicely in the sandbox with you is not their responsibility.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Every time she is mean or insulting, try saying, "Do you feel better about yourself now?"

Then walk away.

 

[Zigner]

Next time coworker says that you're ugly, you could reply with "Yep, ugliest of the litter...but my performance MORE than makes up for the eyesore!"

 

[Proserpina]

Yes. I reported the bully to HR, they tried to solve the problem, and she was told to stop with the bullying behaviour. She stopped bullying me for 2 months and then she started bullying me again. I went to HR again and complained about my co-worker continuously bullying me and they told me there's nothing they can do anymore and I should learn to deal with bullying. I think nobody should be forced to deal with bullying. I am extremely stressed and tired of this mental torture.

Gianna, may I suggest something? (This post is not dealing with the workplace legalities)

Bullies are basically people who don't have the tools to deal with their own pain, and invariably they feel that they themselves are being victimized in one way or another. They're hurting inside.

Now, you can't change them. Nobody can change them, really. But you can certainly control how you react to them, and there are many ways you can diffuse the situation when it involves you.

You can Google ways to deal with bullies yourself, but there's one way in particular that I've seen work in many different environments (including schools).

Bullies are basically people who are very unhappy and are hurting inside. So use some honey - express concern. Tell her that you're concerned because she seems very unhappy, and tell her that if it's something at work that you'd be happy to go with her to HR to help her find a solution. This doesn't work for every bully, but it's proven to work with many.

Remember - you're not in the wrong here, but believe it or not you have some tools you can use which don't involve escalating the situation.

Failing that, you can always go back to HR and show them oh, I don't know, the great article from Forbes.com about workplace bullying.

(use your Google - its easy to find )

You control your reactions. Never forget that.

 

[Proserpina]

Next time coworker says that you're ugly, you could reply with "Yep, ugliest of the litter...but my performance MORE than makes up for the eyesore!"

LOVE that response!!!!!

 

[davew128]

In the words of the late Gene Rayburn, HOW UGLY IS SHE?

 

[cbg]

There are two people responding here; both the shy young woman just out of school who was the victim of workplace bullying from a supervisor, and the 35+ year HR professional. Both of them still exist - both of them are still part of me.

The first is very sympathetic to your situation. She understands how painful it can be, and how it can really cause you to question your worth as a human being.

The second, however, has grown up enough to know that no one can make another adult person change their behavior. Not you, not HR, not your manager. No matter how much it hurts, sooner or later you are going to have to either accept that this is a part of who she is and that she's not going to change, or you're going to have to move on.

I moved on. And it was the one of the best things I ever did.

It is simply a fact that there is a limit to what HR can do. Unless the employer wants to fire her, which they are not obligated to do and which they may not be willing to do, it is simply not possible to force someone else to behave differently. And what's more, it is not illegal to treat someone badly. At the present time, there are no laws against workplace bullying and I don't anticipate seeing them implemented any time soon, simply because what is considered bullying is highly subjective. I'm not saying you're wrong in your calling it such, and I'm not saying you're wrong to be upset. But the only one who can make your co-worker change her behavior is your co-worker, and the law does not provide recourse for every wrong. No matter how sympathetic to your situation I am, and I sincerely am, the simple truth is that you're going to have to either suck it up, or find another job.

You're quite right that no one should have to put up with that kind of treatment. But lots of people have to put up with treatment they shouldn't have to put up with. Life isn't fair and no one gets fair treatment all the time. This is not a situation for which you can take legal recourse.

Simply stated.

 

[gianna1]

Well, I am native from Brazil but naturalized in USA, thus I don't have too much knowledge about american legislation. I didn't know bullying was legal in USA. But I can say that even in Brazil you have a right to sue for bullying and the bully could even be sent to prison even if the bullied individual doesn't belong to any protected class. The absence of laws in America to protect individuals from bullying is shameful. Freedom of speech can be a disgrace and should not be unlimited. People should have the right not to be offended and verbally tormented by anyone. Some of my other co-workers had to quit the job because of this psychopath bully co-worker and I think I must have to do the same thing. The issue of bullying should not be despised. Only those who have been severely bullied know the incomparable torment of being bullied to the point of contemplating suicide. People shouldn't be incited to conform to this unnaceptable behaviour but rather bullying should be criminalized.

I think I will have to seek another job now as I can't cope with being bullied anymore. But I hope for workplace bullying laws on the horizon.

Thank you all for advice.

 

[cbg]

It's not that there are laws legalizing it; it's that there are no laws making it illegal. I don't necessarily disagree with you, but I also know that it's very hard to legislate behavior. I had a former employee who thought she was being bullied because she was yelled at for taking too many smoke breaks (15 minutes at a time, once an hour). Who gets to decide what is bullying behavior, and who compiles the list of what is outlawed? What happens if some inventive, cruel person comes up with a way to mistreat someone that isn't on the list of outlawed behavior?

 

[Proserpina]

Well, I am native from Brazil but naturalized in USA, thus I don't have too much knowledge about american legislation. I didn't know bullying was legal in USA. But I can say that even in Brazil you have a right to sue for bullying and the bully could even be sent to prison even if the bullied individual doesn't belong to any protected class. The absence of laws in America to protect individuals from bullying is shameful. Freedom of speech can be a disgrace and should not be unlimited. People should have the right not to be offended and verbally tormented by anyone. Some of my other co-workers had to quit the job because of this psychopath bully co-worker and I think I must have to do the same thing. The issue of bullying should not be despised. Only those who have been severely bullied know the incomparable torment of being bullied to the point of contemplating suicide. People shouldn't be incited to conform to this unnaceptable behaviour but rather bullying should be criminalized.

I think I will have to seek another job now as I can't cope with being bullied anymore. But I hope for workplace bullying laws on the horizon.

Thank you all for advice.

Interestingly, we do have laws protecting people from being labelled "psychopath" without cause or diagnosis.

I'm intrigued as to how Brazil legislates bullying.

I'm also intrigued as to what you would say if I, for example, were terrifically offended by your stance on the USA's good old Freedom Of Speech issue (which you misunderstand to a horrendous degree but that's not the point). Should I have you arrested?

(This article seems to question your statement: https://www.youthventure.org/numerous-sectors-attack-bullying-brazil )