15 yr old dating 19 yr old

[nopassingme]

Florida
My 15 year old daughter is dating a boy that just turned 19. He is a great young man. He does not drink, or smoke. They go to church together 2 times a week. They are both in sports and encourge each other. They seem so well fitted together. There seems to be no ago barrier at all. He is respectfull and I like him alot. I feel he is very good for my daughter. They are not involved in sexual relations at this time. If the day were to come when they were to invole in sexual relations, I would have to say that as long as they are protected I would not object. Prior to dating him she was hanging with kids her own age that were drinking, smoking and all her Girlfriends were ingaging in sex with young boys. My daughter is a Virgin and I want her to hang on to that for as long as she can. My problem is that I have a so called friend who knows of this situation and she says I am breaking the law by letting them date. If I do not object to it...Can my friend object if she were to choose too and therefore get them in trouble! thank you for any advice you can give me.

[Banned_Princess]

As the parent it is your job to protest, and if you dont, no one else can get them in trubble.

I hope it works out well for your daughter.

[CdwJava]

As long as the dating does not get beyond handholding and kissing, it should be legal in FL. But, if it gets into fondling or more, he could be charged with a lewd and lascivious act.

Even when she hits 16, and her boyfriend is 20, while it appears to be technically legal for them to do the horizontal mambo, I would think it a bad idea to permit it for a host of reasons ... not the least of which is the possibility of pregnancy or STDs.

Let her remain a girl for a while. Life will hit her soon enough, no need to encourage it along.

- Carl

[Adalaide78]

When I was 15 I met this really great guy. He was 18. We dated, he was kind and sweet and respectful. For our first date he agreed to come to my home for dinner and meet my mom and step-dad so they could feel better about me going out to a movie with him. He brought a red rose for me and a yellow one for my mom. What a nice guy! I started attending church with him every week. I met his parents and everything was great. My mom even felt the way you do about sex. Fast forward 6 months from our first date and you'll find daughter and boyfriend in the kitchen with mom and step-dad telling them they are going to be grandparents. I love my daughter dearly and wouldn't trade her for all the world but the fact that my mother condoned my sexual activity cost me much in my life that I can never get back. Since you say your daughter is going to church with this young man it's a great opportunity to talk to her about what she believes. The Bible is pretty clear on the sex and marriage thing, I was just too stupid at 15 to pay attention to that part.

Almost forgot... you don't get to change your mind about this AFTER she's knocked up. My mom tried that and pulled the whole statutory rape thing. Once you've decided your child is grown up enough to be a parent (which is what having sex means) you don't get to say things like statutory and expect her to accept it.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by Adalaide78

Almost forgot... you don't get to change your mind about this AFTER she's knocked up. My mom tried that and pulled the whole statutory rape thing. Once you've decided your child is grown up enough to be a parent (which is what having sex means) you don't get to say things like statutory and expect her to accept it.

That's the fascinating thing about Statutory Rape - under certain circumstances, sex between a child and and adult IS illegal, by STATUTE. As such, even if the mother, father, 3 of 4 grandparents, 12 cousins and 15 other assorted relatives consent...and even if the CHILD consents, it is STILL RAPE. The child doesn't have to "accept it".

[Adalaide78]

Originally Posted by Zigner

That's the fascinating thing about Statutory Rape - under certain circumstances, sex between a child and and adult IS illegal, by STATUTE. As such, even if the mother, father, 3 of 4 grandparents, 12 cousins and 15 other assorted relatives consent...and even if the CHILD consents, it is STILL RAPE. The child doesn't have to "accept it".

I'm sorry, I wasn't saying that the child could do a thing about it. On the other hand, what I was trying to convey is that the OP may find herself in a position at some point where she changes her mind about whether or not she thinks her daughter should be having sex. Once the police are involved and charges are filed, she may find she has alienated her daughter beyond all hope of reconciliation. What the child likely won't accept is the parent suddenly changing her mind and (in the child's eyes) ruining her life. I was simply citing an example from my own life on why letting a 15 year old have sex with an adult is a bad idea to start with. Also, while this has no bearing on the legality of the two of them having sex, should the child become pregnant the father will be in a far better position to provide care for the infant if he's not in jail and doesn't have a criminal record. Then again, filing the charges before she gets knocked up prevents the whole problem.

[chrismiles]

I'd have to ask why is a 19 year old dating a 15 year old...??? Does he have no girls of his own age to date? Is he sickly and wear Star trek stuff? Maybe some pointy spock ears? Tell your kid to find a guy of her own age because this guy has whack job written all over him.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by chrismiles

I'd have to ask why is a 19 year old dating a 15 year old...??? Does he have no girls of his own age to date? Is he sickly and wear Star trek stuff? Maybe some pointy spock ears? Tell your kid to find a guy of her own age because this guy has whack job written all over him.

hey!! i'll have you know that i always thought Spock was HOT!!! since i was 12!!!

[Adalaide78]

Originally Posted by chrismiles

I'd have to ask why is a 19 year old dating a 15 year old...??? Does he have no girls of his own age to date? Is he sickly and wear Star trek stuff? Maybe some pointy spock ears? Tell your kid to find a guy of her own age because this guy has whack job written all over him.

There is nothing wrong with a 4 year age difference in a relationship. If they really like and maybe even love each other they should be capable of having enough respect for each other and the law together to wait to have sex until it is legal to do so. FYI being a geek has become sexy in recent years.

[cbg]

There is, in general, nothing wrong with a four year age difference. However, I do have to wonder about a legal adult who is interested in a 15 year old. Twenty, even ten years from now the gap will be much less but there is a considerable gap between 15 and 19 that does not exist between 25 and 29.