15yo dating 17yo

[judi1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


My son started dating a girl who had just had her 15th birthday. He was 16 just turning 17. They are 1 year 11 months apart. If they were to stay together when my son turned 18 what are consequences if they ever had a sexual relationship? My son knows that he would end up in jail - and he knows that its not worth it... But teenagers sometimes don't think at the time - so I'm a bit worried. I know that minors can't consent and it would be statutory rape - unlawful sex ... Could he end up on the Megans Law list?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


My son started dating a girl who had just had her 15th birthday. He was 16 just turning 17. They are 1 year 11 months apart. If they were to stay together when my son turned 18 what are consequences if they ever had a sexual relationship? My son knows that he would end up in jail - and he knows that its not worth it... But teenagers sometimes don't think at the time - so I'm a bit worried. I know that minors can't consent and it would be statutory rape - unlawful sex ... Could he end up on the Megans Law list?

Possibly he could end up having to register. If he is convicted of statutory rape. Or many other sex crimes. Do you really think he will be with her still when he turns 18?

 

[CdwJava]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California


My son started dating a girl who had just had her 15th birthday. He was 16 just turning 17. They are 1 year 11 months apart. If they were to stay together when my son turned 18 what are consequences if they ever had a sexual relationship?

As a note, it is a crime to have sexual relations even if they are BOTH underage. At 18 it just makes it easy to choose which one to prosecute.

Oh, and unlike the thoughts of former President Clinton, sex also includes groping, fondling, touching, feeling, and oral activity.

My son knows that he would end up in jail - and he knows that its not worth it... But teenagers sometimes don't think at the time - so I'm a bit worried. I know that minors can't consent and it would be statutory rape - unlawful sex ... Could he end up on the Megans Law list?

No. For unlawful intercourse, he will not end up as a registered sex offender in CA. If he were to one day go to another state with such a conviction, he might.

Now, that being said, the fondling, touching, groping and oral activity that might accompany the intercourse CAN theoretically result in a conviction that can end up on the registry. (I don't quite understand it, either, but I didn't write it.)

So, the best bet is that they remain supervised and do little more than hold hands until they are both 18. Yeah, I know they won't like that and probably won't abide by that, but, abstinence works to prevent pregnancy and legal trouble every time it is tried!

 

[judi1]

I know they think that they love each other right now and I am really worried. They are are closely watched now but I think I am going to take my son to a lawyers to hear it for himself - if it does get to that point.

 

[CdwJava]

I know they think that they love each other right now and I am really worried. They are are closely watched now but I think I am going to take my son to a lawyers to hear it for himself - if it does get to that point.

I have four boys. Three are still teens, the fourth is 20. They may be closely watched, but they will find a way. When he says he's at a friend's house to watch the movies, don't bet on it. If he says he is spending a night at a friend's house, verify it. If he says they aren't doing anything but talking, don't believe it.

Kids don't heed what we adult figures have to say. The lawyer will be just another grown-up telling him stuff he'll tell you he already knows and likely has every intention to ignore because he's smarter than everyone else, and the law is "really stupid" anyway.

There was a program I read about once that seemed to work great. It took youngsters who were in love and put them through the reality of teen pregnancy and the world of being a teen parent. It brought out the end of the party phase of life, the end of school and dreams for a while, jobs, late nights with diapers, responsibilities and no sleep, and an eye-opening slap in the face of the realities that can occur with one night (a couple of minutes) of passion that ends in a lifetime commitment and earth-shattering changes. I cannot recall the program, but I am sure that if you look you can find some sort of program, show or documentary that highlights the reality of teen parenthood. That might be more of a wake-up call than a dozen adults saying. "Don't do it!"

Kids don't often buy what we grown-ups have to say anyway ... after all, they already know it all.

 

[judi1]

Thank You both for your advice! My son really stresses me out!! I'd really hate for him to ruin his life. Thanks CdwJava I'll look that up!

 

[stealth2]

Does your school have one of those "fake baby" programs (health class)? Where they pair kids up and give them a computerized doll that they have to care for over a period of time? I think our schools did it in either 10th or 11th grade. God, I hated that baby - sure put ME off wanting another! But it does drive home how much work it is. And no, they couldn't just leave the "baby" to cry. Not if they wanted to pass.

Now, maybe I was lucky, or maybe our repeated conversations (from early on) regarding how a teen pregnancy would change their lives (both knew they would be working to support their child, they could forget going away to college and that I would not be responsible for rausing their child, etc.), or maybe some combination. LOL In my case, it was my daughter w/a younger b/f and she was well aware of how her life could turn upside down once she turned 18 and he didn't. Funny - they broke up not long after - apparently he wasn't worried so didn't think she should be, either. Nuh uh, said she.