What is the name of your state? CT
My daughter is 16. I apologize for the long post.
She is out of control. I have repeatedly asked Department of Child Services for help, asked her school, she has been in counseling since she was 8 for ADHD.
2 years ago she was admitted to a Psychiatric hospital for cutting and suicide idealations. When released she entered an intensive daily program (3 hrs a day after school every day). She stopped cutting (except for 2 more instances).
When she was 15, I was urged to apply for a Family with Service Needs petition. I applied and was given an interview date at the juvenal court. When we were interviewed I was told that FWSN are basically unenforceable and "good luck" and denied.
I was also told that unless she is in the court system there isn’t anything anyone can do to help me get her under control.
In Jan she was again admitted to the same hospital by her Dr for "risky" behaviors and anger. (she threatened both me and the dr when she was told she was being admitted).
Risky behaviors
Truancy
Climbing out second story window and going to boyfriends over night
running away
cussing and disrespect to all family and school officials (teachers, counselors, principals)
Sexually promiscuous
?? drug usage (marijuana)
They evaluated and adjusted her medications. Currently she is on 4. One for depression, one for ADHD, and 2 for "mood disorder". She was released after a week and sent to the same intensive program.
Now that she is 16 she can leave my house and cannot be forced to return unless she goes voluntarily. The police will not pick her up or/and cannot force her to come home. But they are very quick to remind me that I am legally and financially responsible until she is 18.
In March, during one of her “rages” I let her hit me repeatedly and then called the police and had her arrested. She spent Sat night in jail and on Sun I had her released on a promise to appear on Monday.
She was charged with a Class A misdemeanor – assault 2 and told she is facing 17 months in the adult prison since we have no juvenal detention centers in CT for 16-18 year olds. They gave her a protective order and released her to my custody with a return date. The protective order says she cannot threaten, intimidate me, and she must follow all house rules including going to school and therapy.
She has failed for the year and does not see the point in going to school since she must repeat 11th grade.
When we returned to court 6 weeks later, they asked me if she had been following the rules. I told them no, and she is angry because “I could have lied”.
At this point the judge had her handcuffed and shackled and put in the holding unit. She asked me and her dad (who lives in VA and came for court) what we want to do. She told us she is trying to scare her and she has seen too many of these kids.
I said I wanted her in a residential treatment program and she told me to let her go to her “residential program” – prison.
She said I could let her drop the charges and she will continue her behaviors
I could put her on house arrest with ankle monitoring
Send her to jail
We chose house arrest, which my daughter apparently thinks is a joke.
She has violated the curfew twice (which is mandated by me according to her school and doctor visits) and intends to ask for emancipation when we go back to court on Thursday. She also has told me she has a “plan” but refuses to tell me what it is.
I have again applied for voluntary services from child welfare and asked that she be sent to a residential. My problem is it is “voluntary”. Because she is 16 I cannot make her go.
I want to ask the judge to instruct her to go when we go back to court but I am told the court cannot force her to go.
An option is to send her to live with her father in VA but she needs help and I don’t think he can provide it. Outpatient visits in CT don’t work, why would they in VA.
If I have her sent to jail can I then refuse to take her when she is released and make them send her to a residential program? I know this is technically abandonment and I don’t care if it gets her the help she needs.
Any other ideas of what I can do when I go to court on Thursday?
My daughter is 16. I apologize for the long post.
She is out of control. I have repeatedly asked Department of Child Services for help, asked her school, she has been in counseling since she was 8 for ADHD.
2 years ago she was admitted to a Psychiatric hospital for cutting and suicide idealations. When released she entered an intensive daily program (3 hrs a day after school every day). She stopped cutting (except for 2 more instances).
When she was 15, I was urged to apply for a Family with Service Needs petition. I applied and was given an interview date at the juvenal court. When we were interviewed I was told that FWSN are basically unenforceable and "good luck" and denied.
I was also told that unless she is in the court system there isn’t anything anyone can do to help me get her under control.
In Jan she was again admitted to the same hospital by her Dr for "risky" behaviors and anger. (she threatened both me and the dr when she was told she was being admitted).
Risky behaviors
Truancy
Climbing out second story window and going to boyfriends over night
running away
cussing and disrespect to all family and school officials (teachers, counselors, principals)
Sexually promiscuous
?? drug usage (marijuana)
They evaluated and adjusted her medications. Currently she is on 4. One for depression, one for ADHD, and 2 for "mood disorder". She was released after a week and sent to the same intensive program.
Now that she is 16 she can leave my house and cannot be forced to return unless she goes voluntarily. The police will not pick her up or/and cannot force her to come home. But they are very quick to remind me that I am legally and financially responsible until she is 18.
In March, during one of her “rages” I let her hit me repeatedly and then called the police and had her arrested. She spent Sat night in jail and on Sun I had her released on a promise to appear on Monday.
She was charged with a Class A misdemeanor – assault 2 and told she is facing 17 months in the adult prison since we have no juvenal detention centers in CT for 16-18 year olds. They gave her a protective order and released her to my custody with a return date. The protective order says she cannot threaten, intimidate me, and she must follow all house rules including going to school and therapy.
She has failed for the year and does not see the point in going to school since she must repeat 11th grade.
When we returned to court 6 weeks later, they asked me if she had been following the rules. I told them no, and she is angry because “I could have lied”.
At this point the judge had her handcuffed and shackled and put in the holding unit. She asked me and her dad (who lives in VA and came for court) what we want to do. She told us she is trying to scare her and she has seen too many of these kids.
I said I wanted her in a residential treatment program and she told me to let her go to her “residential program” – prison.
She said I could let her drop the charges and she will continue her behaviors
I could put her on house arrest with ankle monitoring
Send her to jail
We chose house arrest, which my daughter apparently thinks is a joke.
She has violated the curfew twice (which is mandated by me according to her school and doctor visits) and intends to ask for emancipation when we go back to court on Thursday. She also has told me she has a “plan” but refuses to tell me what it is.
I have again applied for voluntary services from child welfare and asked that she be sent to a residential. My problem is it is “voluntary”. Because she is 16 I cannot make her go.
I want to ask the judge to instruct her to go when we go back to court but I am told the court cannot force her to go.
An option is to send her to live with her father in VA but she needs help and I don’t think he can provide it. Outpatient visits in CT don’t work, why would they in VA.
If I have her sent to jail can I then refuse to take her when she is released and make them send her to a residential program? I know this is technically abandonment and I don’t care if it gets her the help she needs.
Any other ideas of what I can do when I go to court on Thursday?
