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  1. #1
    lovemuffin is offline Member
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    16 Year Old won't attend school

    What is the name of your state? Florida

    I have a 16 yr. old daughter (will be 17 in October) who will not go to school. I have even tried taking her to school, and she just leaves as soon as I am gone. The new school year started 3 weeks ago, and so far she has missed 8 days out of 15.

    She is not a problem child. She does her chores, obeys they house rules, is very pleasant and does just about anything she is told to do. She just won't stay at school or go altogether.

    I have stressed over and over the importance of an education. She is wanting to quit dayschool and go to night school. This seems to be my final recourse. I have 2 other teenage children at home, and they go to school faithfully.

    What kind of message would I be sending them if I just let my 16 year old drop out and take night classes?

    Is there any legal means to make her stay in day school, other than having her picked up for truancy. (Which only cost me more time and effort) that I could be using to help her make it in school.

    Thank you in advance.
  2. #2
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    If you do not keep her in school (and that may take having her picked up for truancy) you may find yourself in trouble for permitting the truancy. I know that many jurisdictions in FL enforce the truancy laws pretty harsh ... hopefully yours is not one of them or you may be in a lot more trouble.

    If your daughter is not fulfilling her obligations, then she needs to be compelled to do so. If not, then her future is rather bleak indeed.

    What does she do during the day when she's not going to school? Do you know? Who does she hang with? What are they doing? Statistically kids who are not in school are something like 7 times more likely to get in trouble or be victims of crime during school hours than otherwise.

    You are doing her no favors by not threatening her with truancy.

    FL also has a strong school resource officer program. Check with your daughter's school to see if they have an SRO and then schedule a time to have a chat with the officer.

    Good luck.

    Carl
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  3. #3
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovemuffin
    What is the name of your state? Florida

    I have a 16 yr. old daughter (will be 17 in October) who will not go to school. I have even tried taking her to school, and she just leaves as soon as I am gone. The new school year started 3 weeks ago, and so far she has missed 8 days out of 15.

    She is not a problem child. She does her chores, obeys they house rules, is very pleasant and does just about anything she is told to do. She just won't stay at school or go altogether.

    I have stressed over and over the importance of an education. She is wanting to quit dayschool and go to night school. This seems to be my final recourse. I have 2 other teenage children at home, and they go to school faithfully.

    What kind of message would I be sending them if I just let my 16 year old drop out and take night classes?

    Is there any legal means to make her stay in day school, other than having her picked up for truancy. (Which only cost me more time and effort) that I could be using to help her make it in school.

    Thank you in advance.
    Yes, actually, she is.
  4. #4
    cmorris is offline Member
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    Are there things going on at school that influence her attitude?

    Sometimes things like this reflect on parents, and sometimes not. My brother sounds like your daughter, except he had problems. Finally, my mother let him drop out. He obtained his GED and went to college. Since that action, he no longer has problems and has been employed for years. At the same time, my sister and I both graduated from HS with honors and received 4-year scholarships to college.

    Kids are just different and need different things. If you are a stay-at-home and have the knowledge, perhaps home schooling is an option. If there are problems/issues at school that cannot be resolved, perhaps you could try transfering her to a different school. You can still emphasize education. Maybe none of these ideas apply. Some kids are extremely gifted (I don't know you or your daughter, so this may or may not apply) and feel that they do not "need" to go to school. I went to school with a student like this who had truancy issues. He actually received special admission to college where his college classes counted towards HS (also received college credit) so he could graduate w/o actually attending HS.
  5. #5
    Son of Slam is offline Senior Member
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    To put it simply,

    girls do not need to go to school.
  6. #6
    lovemuffin is offline Member
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    Can someone give me more info on the SRO program spoke about in the first answer? Our school does have such a program but they said she may be too old to be accepted into it.


    She hates school. Always has. Her problem is she is lazy. Her main reason for not wanting to attend school is that she complians of having to get up at 6:30 every morning. I have tried sending her to different schools. (6 different schools) in 4 years. Even tried private school.

    I am going to see to it that she gets an education. Kids have it so easy these days. I was no angel in school. I had a child at 15 and still graduated high school without having to get a GED or attend night school.

    Thank you for all the help!
    God Bless our Children!
  7. #7
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovemuffin
    Can someone give me more info on the SRO program spoke about in the first answer? Our school does have such a program but they said she may be too old to be accepted into it.
    I'm not sure what program they are referring to. An SRO is a police officer assigned to the school. Usually, they have contacts, resources, and special training that might help you to get your daughter to school or involved in an alternative program that is acceptable to everyone to keep her from failing or ending up a juvenile justice statistic.

    Ask to speak with the School Resource Officer and see what he/she has to say.

    And, there are other options. She doesn't go to school? No radio, no TV, no computer, no friends, nada, zip, zilch, nothing. Everything she has in her life is gone. If she wants them back, she has to earn them!

    Parenting can be tough. And it can mean doing things that will anger the child. But if she's not following the rules, then perhaps its time to provide the minimal support necessary: a mattress, a set of clothing for tomorrow, and a meal sufficient to sustain her (if she doesn't like it - tough).

    There's a reason it can be called "tough love".

    Good luck.

    Carl

    Carl
    Last edited by CdwJava; 08-26-2004 at 04:21 PM.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  8. #8
    lovemuffin is offline Member
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    And, there are other options. She doesn't go to school? No radio, no TV, no computer, no friends, nada, zip, zilch, nothing. Everything she has in her life is gone. If she wants them back, she has to earn them!


    Thank you again for your advise. We tried the no radio, no tv, no friends or boyfriend thing, and she snuck out in the middle of the night and was gone for 8 days. Seems punishing just leads to more problems.

    I didn't sleep or eat for the entire 8 days she was gone, all I did was search.

    Thank you again.
  9. #9
    cmorris is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovemuffin
    Thank you again for your advise. We tried the no radio, no tv, no friends or boyfriend thing, and she snuck out in the middle of the night and was gone for 8 days. Seems punishing just leads to more problems.
    There are alarms you can purchase for her door(s) and window(s) that are so piercing it would alert you, even in a deep sleep. I'm not sure where you can purchase them, but perhaps an electronic store.

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