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Thread: 17yr old Wanting to leave home - Runaway

  1. #1
    wfil911 is offline Junior Member
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    17yr old Wanting to leave home - Runaway

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

    I'm a 17 year old girl (I turn 18 this summer) in GA. My parents are so controlling and have major anger issues. My dad has a temper and has attacked my mom in the past, and they separated and got back together again. He has put keylogging software on my computer before (I removed it), and is threatening to do it again. He's threatening to GPS bug my car, tap my phones, and he forced me to give all my passwords to all my internet accounts. He yells and swears at everyone in the family all the time and is very controlling about what I'm allowed to do and who with (beyond normal parenting...we're talking major controlling, checking up on everything I do, calling everyone I hang out with & their parents, etc). He wants to threaten High School boys I hang out with.

    I just hate living here and want to run away so badly. I have really good grades all through high school and everything, but I can't stand living at home any longer and don't even care if I graduate anymore. I realize most of you will tell me just to stick it out for a few more months and then leave legally blah blah blah. OK, I get that, and may very well do so, but the questions I really want answers to are as follows:

    How much trouble would I be in if I ran away and was found before I turned 18 this summer?

    How much trouble would I be in if I ran away and hid until after I turned 18, then stopped hiding? Would I still be in legal trouble because I ran away while I was still a minor, even though I'm not a minor anymore and can legally be out on my own? Would my parents have to press charges, or is it out of their hands? If I can still get in trouble, how long until it's no longer a valid legal issue? I mean, I know there is a such thing as a "statute of limitations" where after so many years you can't get in trouble for something done in the past. Could I just hide for like 3 years and then never get in trouble for it?

    I'd PREFER not to have to resort to this next one, but I hate home so badly, that I will if it will work and make it legal for me to leave. So, apparently I read online that Georgia lets minors leave home without their parents' consent if they are pregnant. The age of consent in GA is 16. So technically I could legally get pregnant with my boyfriend, and then leave home without my parent's consent, correct? My boyfriend is in his 20's...but my parents don't know we're dating (it's been 4 months, known each other for longer), so NO that isn't why they're being such controlling jerks...they think I'm still dating my 18yr old ex-bf. My adult bf isn't a GA resident, does that matter, or do I need to check on the laws for his state residency too? If we moved in together, would we have to stay in GA, or could we go to another state? Since age of consent is 16 in GA and I'm ALMOST 18, then my bf can't get in trouble if we start having sex, can he? If age of consent is 16, then if my parents found out about my new bf, could they seriously restrict me from seeing him if I can legally consent to any relationship I want at 16 anyway? If I get pregnant by him, then they definitely couldn't restrict us as I understand it right?

    I just want to know my options. I may just wait things out in the end, so I don't need lectures about how I shouldn't date a guy in his 20's, or how I shouldn't get pregnant yet or any of that. I just want to know LEGALLY what is the answer if I just can't take it anymore and HAVE to leave home one way or another. How would things play out LEGALLY? Thanks.
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  2. #2
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by wfil911 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

    I'm a 17 year old girl (I turn 18 this summer) in GA. My parents are so controlling and have major anger issues. My dad has a temper and has attacked my mom in the past, and they separated and got back together again. He has put keylogging software on my computer before (I removed it), and is threatening to do it again. He's threatening to GPS bug my car, tap my phones, and he forced me to give all my passwords to all my internet accounts. He yells and swears at everyone in the family all the time and is very controlling about what I'm allowed to do and who with (beyond normal parenting...we're talking major controlling, checking up on everything I do, calling everyone I hang out with & their parents, etc). He wants to threaten High School boys I hang out with.
    Except for the yelling, that is known commonly as "good parenting".

    I just hate living here and want to run away so badly. I have really good grades all through high school and everything, but I can't stand living at home any longer and don't even care if I graduate anymore. I realize most of you will tell me just to stick it out for a few more months and then leave legally blah blah blah. OK, I get that, and may very well do so, but the questions I really want answers to are as follows:

    How much trouble would I be in if I ran away and was found before I turned 18 this summer?
    You would be returned as a runaway and the boy you are running away to be with will be charged accordingly.

    How much trouble would I be in if I ran away and hid until after I turned 18, then stopped hiding?
    When you are 18, you can do what you want.

    Until you are 18, you do what your parents tell you to do.

    Would I still be in legal trouble because I ran away while I was still a minor, even though I'm not a minor anymore and can legally be out on my own?
    When you are 18, you can do what you want.

    Would my parents have to press charges, or is it out of their hands? If I can still get in trouble, how long until it's no longer a valid legal issue
    when you are 18, you can do what you want.

    I mean, I know there is a such thing as a "statute of limitations" where after so many years you can't get in trouble for something done in the past. Could I just hide for like 3 years and then never get in trouble for it?
    Why three years?? I thought you were 17?

    I'd PREFER not to have to resort to this next one, but I hate home so badly, that I will if it will work and make it legal for me to leave. So, apparently I read online that Georgia lets minors leave home without their parents' consent if they are pregnant. The age of consent in GA is 16. So technically I could legally get pregnant with my boyfriend, and then leave home without my parent's consent, correct?
    Wrong. That loophole in Georgia law was closed in 2005.

    Further, do you have any idea how immature it sounds that you are willing to create a baby just because your daddy doesn't let you have enough freedom?

    Are you kidding?

    My boyfriend is in his 20's...but my parents don't know we're dating (it's been 4 months, known each other for longer), so NO that isn't why they're being such controlling jerks...they think I'm still dating my 18yr old ex-bf.
    I knew there was an adult boyfriend in here somewhere.

    My adult bf isn't a GA resident, does that matter, or do I need to check on the laws for his state residency too?
    Wow... so you would be crossing state lines to have sex.

    That violates SEVERAL FEDERAL statutes... google "Mann Act".

    If we moved in together, would we have to stay in GA, or could we go to another state? Since age of consent is 16 in GA and I'm ALMOST 18, then my bf can't get in trouble if we start having sex, can he?
    Just for harboring a runaway and solicitation of a minor.

    If age of consent is 16, then if my parents found out about my new bf, could they seriously restrict me from seeing him if I can legally consent to any relationship I want at 16 anyway?
    Yes they can.

    If I get pregnant by him, then they definitely couldn't restrict us as I understand it right?
    Wrong. Pregnancy doesn't prove to everyone you are an adult. It proves that you are either too stupid to figure out how a condom works or so selfish you would have a baby just to see your adult boyfriend six months early.

    I just want to know my options. I may just wait things out in the end, so I don't need lectures about how I shouldn't date a guy in his 20's, or how I shouldn't get pregnant yet or any of that. I just want to know LEGALLY what is the answer if I just can't take it anymore and HAVE to leave home one way or another. How would things play out LEGALLY? Thanks.
    Legally, you do what your parents tell you to do until you are 18. Pregnant or not.
  3. #3
    wfil911 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    Except for the yelling, that is known commonly as "good parenting".

    You would be returned as a runaway and the boy you are running away to be with will be charged accordingly.

    When you are 18, you can do what you want.

    Until you are 18, you do what your parents tell you to do.

    Why three years?? I thought you were 17?

    Wrong. That loophole in Georgia law was closed in 2005.

    Further, do you have any idea how immature it sounds that you are willing to create a baby just because your daddy doesn't let you have enough freedom?

    Are you kidding?

    I knew there was an adult boyfriend in here somewhere.

    Wow... so you would be crossing state lines to have sex.

    That violates SEVERAL FEDERAL statutes... google "Mann Act".

    Just for harboring a runaway and solicitation of a minor.

    Yes they can.

    Wrong. Pregnancy doesn't prove to everyone you are an adult. It proves that you are either too stupid to figure out how a condom works or so selfish you would have a baby just to see your adult boyfriend six months early.

    Legally, you do what your parents tell you to do until you are 18. Pregnant or not.
    Actually, I was going to run away on my own without living with my boyfriend. The last question was an entirely SEPARATE option if the others didn't work out. We haven't been having sex so he hasn't done anything wrong. No I wouldn't be crossing state lines to have sex. He's in Georgia, but isn't a resident here. I see him all the time, and we talk all the time, we just don't have sexual relations so no laws are being broken. Yes I am 17, you have critical reading problems and read my post wrong. I was talking about statute of limitations. If I run away while I'm 17, then I break a law. I was asking if I would have to hide for a few years until it was too late to charge me for that anymore, or if I only had to hide until I was 18 and it wouldn't matter anymore even though I ran while I was a minor and it was illegal back then. The question was whether they could still prosecute me for something I did (runaway) as a minor even 6 months later when they find me after I'm no longer a minor anymore. I never said I planned to get pregnant just to get away from my parents, I was simply asking how that works. I probably wouldn't do it anyway, and my bf probably wouldn't do it...however, I wouldn't be heartbroken to have a baby either. I already take care of plenty of them and love kids. I plan to be a stay at home mom with kids. I have all the means to take care of one if I had one too.

    These are all my ideas and not his, and he doesn't even know I'm proposing them as options and might not agree to them anyway. You're a very pessimistic person who makes a lot of bad assumptions and gets emotionally involved in conflicts...you're an arguer, not a debater, you know that? I'm guessing you primarily run on your limbic system and haven't matured into your Cerebral cortex yet either. Teenager yourself? Twenties? I guess even some older people never mature and always run that way. None the less, thanks for taking the time to answer, even if you felt the need to attempt to be demeaning while misreading some of what I said and treating me like an inferior. Good luck working on your people skills.
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  4. #4
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    People skills?

    You want to intentionally have a child that you can't support and raise just so that mommy and daddy aren't the boss of you anymore and I am the one with a problem?

    What are you, six?

    regardless... if I have such a reading problem, I won't be back.

    Oh, and that sound you hear will be crickets chirping... because no one else here will go out of their way to help a brat with a bad attitude because daddy doesn't like her dating grown men.
  5. #5
    wfil911 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    People skills?

    You want to intentionally have a child that you can't support and raise just so that mommy and daddy aren't the boss of you anymore and I am the one with a problem?

    What are you, six?

    regardless... if I have such a reading problem, I won't be back.

    Oh, and that sound you hear will be crickets chirping... because no one else here will go out of their way to help a brat with a bad attitude because daddy doesn't like her dating grown men.
    As I said above, I CAN support one if I have one. I work at home and make almost $30K/yr at 17yrs old, and my boyfriend makes $50K-$60K/yr. So at close to $90K/yr well above the national average I think I'd easily be able to support and raise a kid, on my own, let alone together with my bf. Again, as I said, you make a lot of assumptions and misread what I said again. As you can read above I said I DO have the means to support myself and a kid if I chose to have one...which I never said I would do, just that it was a potential option and I was asking how it work out legally, which you at least answered for me, so thank you. Again, I never asked for a lecture, just how things would LEGALLY play out. I couldn't care less what your "opinion" is on the matter. I will make my own choice.
  6. #6
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Legally you could up in juvie. Legally your boyfriend could end up in jail if not prison. Legally you need to be a child. Your parents cannot be too controlling if you earn 30k a year at this juncture.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  7. #7
    cbg
    cbg is offline Senior Member
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    This is the legal answer.

    Georgia has tightened up its laws in the last few years. You cannot legally leave home without permission until you are 18. Period. No matter how many what-if's you throw at us.

    That is not opinion. That is fact. That is the law. Whether you want it to be the answer or not.
    Last edited by cbg; 01-11-2009 at 07:50 AM.
  8. #8
    elieon602 is offline Junior Member
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    wow

    i feel bad 4 u, but i dnt think u shld run away, atleast till u r 18, and idk if u done drugs b4 but if you've never tried it, dont go to it 4 answers bc it dnt help, trust me. i gotta go to court 4 th 1st time on th 26th and im only 15, it suks. but try to stay away from drugs, i need to but i chose nt to sadly. dont be lik me or th other 1000s of kids and teens out ther.

    wish u luk with ur problems and wen u get a chance, go somewhere away from home for a few hours that is outside and sit think and practice some breathing exercises, it may help u
  9. #9
    >Charlotte< is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by elieon602 View Post
    i feel bad 4 u, but i dnt think u shld run away, atleast till u r 18, and idk if u done drugs b4 but if you've never tried it, dont go to it 4 answers bc it dnt help, trust me. i gotta go to court 4 th 1st time on th 26th and im only 15, it suks. but try to stay away from drugs, i need to but i chose nt to sadly. dont be lik me or th other 1000s of kids and teens out ther. wish u luk with ur problems and wen u get a chance, go somewhere away from home for a few hours that is outside and sit think and practice some breathing exercises, it may help u
    Just so you know, you can use as many letters as you like here without having to worry about going over your texting limits.
  10. #10
    ShadowsAdvocate is offline Junior Member
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    Heh, that's pretty funny. I personally was really surprised to find someone talking like that on a site like this. And I'm sure you are older than me because you have apparently "recovered" from drugs. Of course, not completely, because you still write like a kid. Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean. I just thought it was funny.

    Anyways, I'm 15 and I have some advice. You don't want to go to Juvy. You will go to Juvy if you run away as a minor. A few weeks ago I stole my mom's car to drive to my dad's, in hopes that some of the higher-ups would realize that I didn't want to live with her. I knew she would charge me for stealing her car and I knew I would go to Juvy, which of course, I did. It wasn't fun. If you think you have no freedom out here, try being in there for a while. And when you get out, you still won't have as much freedom as you did before you went in.

    My reason for running away wasn't the same as yours though. True, while at my mom's, I have been in fear of my life before, but she never shows any kind of evidence that she plans to kill me.(which means that she thinks alot like me, as I never showed any evidence that I planned to run away) But that's not the point. The thing for me was, I have been to court at least four times since I was 10. That was when my parents divorced. I have wanted to live with my dad from the start, who has always been a good parent, and hasn't been convicted of a single crime. Every time I've been in court I have fought for him to get full custody. It didn't do a bit of good. The courts here, and probably everywhere, just don't care what a kid has to say. They don't like my dad, and now they probably don't like me. The reason I ran away is because I believe that we have to fight for what we believe in. I believe I should be living with my dad because: I am closer to him, he is smarter than my mom (who is not even as intelligent as me in most subjects) and can teach me a lot and help me bring up my grades (I already make all A's and B's, everything above 90%, but would like for all my grades to be above 95%.. all A's), and he is more kind and is more in tune with the real world. I don't believe I should be held back from something like that.

    But, I'm sure you all think that I also am only an immature kid. That is the only response I have seen so far to those who are not parents. On most occasions I have agreed with your opinions, but you still seem to be very biased in your observations. Thanks for the advice, lol.
    Last edited by ShadowsAdvocate; 01-14-2009 at 12:53 PM.
  11. #11
    >Charlotte< is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowsAdvocate View Post
    But, I'm sure you all think that I also am only an immature kid. That is the only response I have seen so far to those who are not parents. On most occasions I have agreed with your opinions, but you still sem to be very biased in your observations. Thanks for the advice, lol.
    Well, you are an immature kid. That's not an insult, or a means by which to disregard what you think or feel, or anything other than just a simple fact.

    It's impossible to convey to a 15 year old why they're not as mature as they think they are because it's not something that can be taught or illustrated or described. It just has to be lived. You have no idea, ShadowsAdvocate, but you will in about 15 years.
  12. #12
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    having said that, you are smart enough to know that maybe you can save someone else a bit of the trouble you have already paid for.

    That gives you a positive check in my book.
  13. #13
    ShadowsAdvocate is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clt747 View Post
    Well, you are an immature kid. That's not an insult, or a means by which to disregard what you think or feel, or anything other than just a simple fact.

    It's impossible to convey to a 15 year old why they're not as mature as they think they are because it's not something that can be taught or illustrated or described. It just has to be lived. You have no idea, ShadowsAdvocate, but you will in about 15 years.
    Maybe I'm not as mature as I think I am, but I don't know that I would necessarily qualify as immature. Besides, most people in this world do believe that they are more or better in something than they really are. It doesn't just apply to minors or kids. You yourself may believe that you are more "something" than you are. Its a human tendency.

    All I'm saying is that it is hard to see the truth of yourself, compared to the truth of someone else. Its even harder to deal with that truth, most of the time, once you have found it out.

    Example 1: A man believes, out of his nature, that he would stand a good chance in a fight (even if he has had no training whatsoever). He finds out the truth the hard way. He is hospitalized one day because he over-estimated his abilities in a fight.

    Example 2: You think that you are pretty smart. You know that you are very wise because of your years, and that your advice can lead anyone to success. You believe that if you give advice to someone, they should follow it to a "T" in order to meet with the success you believe they are looking for. Perhaps this person does exactly as you say, but still ends up failing. (perhaps I don't actually mean "you".. just a person like you. For all I know your advice may always lead people to success, however unlikely that may seem to me. Or maybe you don't really think like this.)

    Do you get what I'm trying to say? Because your advice failed him, that doesn't mean that you are "unwise." Because the other guy got hurt in a fight because he overestimated himself doesn't mean he is "arrogant." Just because you don't believe that I'm as mature as you (which indeed I may not be), that doesn't make me "immature." Yes, I'm still a kid. I agree with that, but not so much because of my maturity level, but because of my physical age.

    P.S. You are older and set in your ways and beliefs. I don't expect to change your opinion that I am an "immature kid." That would take a lot of work and conversation, if its even possible. I know so many like you. All.. minds closed. I don't mean to be mean and certainly not judgemental. I'm not trying to be purposefully disrespectful, even though I see a bit a disrespect in my post. My only purpose in posting here is so that you will know my opinion. My position.. Maybe you will consider it.

    S
  14. #14
    BsBr001 is offline Junior Member
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    I'm sorry ShadowsAdvocate, but Clt is right. You wouldn't understand even if we did try to explain it to you. Its not a part of your personality, or likely a part of any kid's personality to accept something like that. But, wisdom and maturity come with age, and you just have to wait for it.

    You will understand when you have kids and they are thinking the same way. When you have children and you see in them the same thing that you are going through right now, you will understand how immature you were. I know I do. My children don't think they are immature, just as I didn't when I was their age. But now I understand.

    Of course.. all adults aren't mature though. Some just never grow up. But that is usually only in rare occasions, as the world we live in forces most of us to grow up. I'm sure it will do it to you.
  15. #15
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    I want to step in here...

    No matter how you cut it, you are still a child. Immature by your very existance.

    This is not an insult or a put down. This is simply fact.

    You can no more understand what maturity is than what it is like to be a father. Yes, you can observe actions that fathers do... and can promise yourself that is what you will be like.

    However, until you have children of your own, you will really not understand what it means to be a father... emotionally, financially and, even, behaviorally.

    Nothing bothers parents more than having someone that has only had experience with their pet gerbil (and it died from neglect) telling them how easy it is to be a parent... or, worse, how badly they are doing in that role.

    You simply don't know what you don't know. Yes, in relation to your experience, you may think yourself more mature than you were... but that doesn't necessarily make you mature.

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