All Grown Up

[oldschooldad]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have a 16 year old son that has lived with me for 14 years. His mother and I share custody of him jointly but I am the primary care giver and custodian. I recently discovered the possibility that my son may be involved in some illeagle activities. I approached him on the matter and he confirmed my suspicions. I expressed to him that I would not accept any type of illeagle activity under my roof. I further reminded him of all the things he stood to lose by involving himself with such things including his freedom. I was firm but fair and forgiving concerning the matter. I asked him to dispose of any materials he had on his person and he did immediately with minimal hesitation. I explained to him that should I find any such materials again or as much as suspect any illeagle activity that I would have him arrested. He let me finish and then expressed to me that he had no intention on stopping with the activity and further more I should probably just call the police right then. The following day he walked out of my house and has not returned since. I suspect he is staying with friends some place in town but have been unable to locate him. Ive contacted the police and reported him as a run away juvinile. But the question becomes what are my options should he be found and breought back home? I cannot jepordize the rest of my family by allowing him to remain here with us while he continues to be a lawless deliquent, neither can I turn my back on my oldest child. What are my options?

 

[ezmarelda]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have a 16 year old son that has lived with me for 14 years. His mother and I share custody of him jointly but I am the primary care giver and custodian. I recently discovered the possibility that my son may be involved in some illeagle activities. I approached him on the matter and he confirmed my suspicions. I expressed to him that I would not accept any type of illeagle activity under my roof. I further reminded him of all the things he stood to lose by involving himself with such things including his freedom. I was firm but fair and forgiving concerning the matter. I asked him to dispose of any materials he had on his person and he did immediately with minimal hesitation. I explained to him that should I find any such materials again or as much as suspect any illeagle activity that I would have him arrested. He let me finish and then expressed to me that he had no intention on stopping with the activity and further more I should probably just call the police right then. The following day he walked out of my house and has not returned since. I suspect he is staying with friends some place in town but have been unable to locate him. Ive contacted the police and reported him as a run away juvinile. But the question becomes what are my options should he be found and breought back home? I cannot jepordize the rest of my family by allowing him to remain here with us while he continues to be a lawless deliquent, neither can I turn my back on my oldest child. What are my options?

My personal non-legal opinion...if he is engaging in illegal activity in your home turn him in and let him face the consaquenses(spelled wrong but you get the point)

 

[smutlydog]

I cannot jepordize the rest of my family by allowing him to remain here with us while he continues to be a lawless deliquent, neither can I turn my back on my oldest child

You have just been told your legal options but I would speak to a family counselor to find out why this is happening.

The fact that he is willing to challenge you on your threat is interesting but I don't want to make any assumptions here. If this is the only problem you have with him then on some level your lucky. Your setting a good example and you do love him so it might just be something you over looked.