Dating in CA

[Sam9]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA.
Hello,
I'm a new legal immigrant to USA and I live in CA. I'm 19 and want to date girls in my age. I red that in CA the age of consent is 18. In CA even a 17.5 y.o. girl considered underage, and it's hard to find out instantly that she is lying, because 16-17 y.o. girls can easily look like 18 or 20.
So, my question is: What do I need to do to be on the safe side and not to get in trouble with the law if, for example, 17 y.o.girl tells that she is 18, and then her parents file a complaint for statutory rape? Do I need to take a copy of her ID or birth certificate? Any ideas?
Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA.
Hello,
I'm a new legal immigrant to USA and I live in CA. I'm 19 and want to date girls in my age. I red that in CA the age of consent is 18. In CA even a 17.5 y.o. girl considered underage, and it's hard to find out instantly that she is lying, because 16-17 y.o. girls can easily look like 18 or 20.
So, my question is: What do I need to do to be on the safe side and not to get in trouble with the law if, for example, 17 y.o.girl tells that she is 18, and then her parents file a complaint for statutory rape? Do I need to take a copy of her ID or birth certificate? Any ideas?
Thank you.

How about getting to know the person before doing anything with them that you wouldn't do with your grandmother?

 

[CdwJava]

Dating a minor is not illegal unless you intend to have sex with her or encourage her to disobey her parents or engage in delinquent or criminal activity.

The best way to avoid any trouble is to engage in an old-fashioned and time-honored tradition known as "dating." This antiquated custom requires that you call on the girl and ask her to accompany you or to meet you at a location where you can get to know each other. Perhaps lunch and a movie ... maybe a bike ride ... maybe a day at an amusement park. It also generally means that anything beyond the holding of hands and a good night kiss is not considered good form until after several dates have passed, and the two of you have actually gotten to KNOW each other. A "date" is NOT a "hook up." If you want to hook up (i.e. have sex) then you had best start asking for ID. If you want to build a relationship for the future, then try dating. SEX does not make a lasting relationship, sex is merely the fulfillment of a biological imperative (or, urge) and is one of the baser instincts that can be performed even by the lowliest of protozoa and hardly worthy of the most advanced species on Earth.

 

[Proserpina]

Dating a minor is not illegal unless you intend to have sex with her or encourage her to disobey her parents or engage in delinquent or criminal activity.

The best way to avoid any trouble is to engage in an old-fashioned and time-honored tradition known as "dating." This antiquated custom requires that you call on the girl and ask her to accompany you or to meet you at a location where you can get to know each other. Perhaps lunch and a movie ... maybe a bike ride ... maybe a day at an amusement park. It also generally means that anything beyond the holding of hands and a good night kiss is not considered good form until after several dates have passed, and the two of you have actually gotten to KNOW each other. A "date" is NOT a "hook up." If you want to hook up (i.e. have sex) then you had best start asking for ID. If you want to build a relationship for the future, then try dating. SEX does not make a lasting relationship, sex is merely the fulfillment of a biological imperative (or, urge) and is one of the baser instincts that can be performed even by the lowliest of protozoa and hardly worthy of the most advanced species on Earth.

^^^ love this

 

[Sam9]

Dating a minor is not illegal unless you intend to have sex with her or encourage her to disobey her parents or engage in delinquent or criminal activity.

The best way to avoid any trouble is to engage in an old-fashioned and time-honored tradition known as "dating." This antiquated custom requires that you call on the girl and ask her to accompany you or to meet you at a location where you can get to know each other. Perhaps lunch and a movie ... maybe a bike ride ... maybe a day at an amusement park. It also generally means that anything beyond the holding of hands and a good night kiss is not considered good form until after several dates have passed, and the two of you have actually gotten to KNOW each other. A "date" is NOT a "hook up." If you want to hook up (i.e. have sex) then you had best start asking for ID. If you want to build a relationship for the future, then try dating. SEX does not make a lasting relationship, sex is merely the fulfillment of a biological imperative (or, urge) and is one of the baser instincts that can be performed even by the lowliest of protozoa and hardly worthy of the most advanced species on Earth.

I'm absolutely respect your answer, sir, and my opinion is the same. I'm not looking for one nights or similar. The issue is that even after 3-4 dates the girl can continue to lie about her age. So what can I do legally to avoid troubles?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm absolutely respect your answer, sir, and my opinion is the same. I'm not looking for one nights or similar. The issue is that even after 3-4 dates the girl can continue to lie about her age. So what can I do legally to avoid troubles?

See above responses.

 

[quincy]

. . . . sex is. . . .hardly worthy of the most advanced species on Earth.

Well, Carl, you had me until that last part.

 

[Sam9]

See above responses.

There are only moral aspects and advises. Although they are very nice and clever, i'm looking for a legal advice.
So, the question is, what can a man do to be on a safe side? To take a copy of ID? To have her sign a declaration that she is 18 before a notary?

 

[Proserpina]

There are only moral aspects and advises. Although they are very nice and clever, i'm looking for a legal advice.
So, the question is, what can a man do to be on a safe side? To take a copy of ID? To have her sign a declaration that she is 18 before a notary?

Which part of the above responses were legally inaccurate?

 

[Sam9]

Which part of the above responses were legally inaccurate?

Ok, maybe I did not expressed myself well.
A man dating a girl. She is telling him that she is 18 and looks 18.
After having sex, her parents filing a complaint against him for statutory rape, because actually she is 17. What can he present to the police/DA that will cause them not to persecute him? Copy of her (fake) ID? A notarized declaration of her that she is 18?
Thank you.

 

[CdwJava]

Ok, maybe I did not expressed myself well.
A man dating a girl. She is telling him that she is 18 and looks 18.
After having sex, her parents filing a complaint against him for statutory rape, because actually she is 17. What can he present to the police/DA that will cause them not to persecute him? Copy of her (fake) ID? A notarized declaration of her that she is 18?
Thank you.

Well, yeah, I suspect that a notarized statement accompanied by presentation of valid ID proving she s of legal age will work ... but, that sorta takes the romance outta the situation, don't it?

If you actually got to KNOW her, this would not be such a mystery. Once upon a time, people would date for quite a while before engaging in sex. Some people would even <gasp> wait for marriage! Yes, yes, I know, it seems unfathomable, but there were so few problems with the age issue back in those days because you actually got to KNOW your partner.

Look, if you have to go so far as to ID her and get a notarized statement, then you might as well just go pay a hooker because the romance will be about the same.

Oh, and to clarify a misconception - the parents do not have to pursue charges. If the authorities merely get wind of the underage sexual encounter, they can take action - no matter the source.

 

[stealth2]

I'm thinking that, if she lives on her own or with like-aged roommates, she's most likely over 18. If she still lives at home, how about meeting the parents? That might give you a clue.

p.s. If my daughter were asked by a young man to provide ID and/or sign a notarized statement of majority? I would advise her to find a different young man as this one is apparently more interested in sex than in getting to know her.

 

[swalsh411]

I'm pretty sure being wrong about her age is not a defense to a statutory rape charge so the legally correct answer is "nothing". It's a risk you take.

 

[HomeGuru]

This thread is the most interesting one that I have read all morning.