Ex refuse to let teen back in home, I'm fed up too need some advise

[dannieboiz]

What is the name of your state (California)

Our 15 year old son (turning 16 next feb) has been constantly stealing, lying and getting in trouble in school. He spends a couple days a week with her. Until recently she kicked him out of her house for stealing quite a bit of money from her. He had stole many times from her in the past over the summer alone he was caught at least twice. He had stole from aunt and uncles as well. Beside the few times we caught up, we know for sure there has been many more times that he got away with it.

I did my part "legally" and provide food, shelter for him during my time of custody. However, for the past couple of weeks, he has been staying at his uncle home and they are aware of this.

I'm also fed up with his attitude here, he's lazy, school calls home daily, he refuse to do homework, chores, nothing.

I recently caught him with an air BB gun along with some E-Cigarettes. When I confronted him, he had a pen in his arm and I can tell by his reaction that he has thoughts of attacking me with it. I have a 1 year old and my wife is currently pregnant. I have reasons to believe that he can harm them when I'm not around. I want to help him every way I can but at the same time need to protect the family.

We've been trying very hard include taking him into therapy for many years to get him back on track but nothing seems to help.

I've read through all the post regarding "they're our children and we need to be responsible and all that" but trust me, we've tried everything we can think of. At this age I know I'm legally responsible but isn't there anything we can do?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (California)

Our 15 year old son (turning 16 next feb) has been constantly stealing, lying and getting in trouble in school. He spends a couple days a week with her. Until recently she kicked him out of her house for stealing quite a bit of money from her. He had stole many times from her in the past over the summer alone he was caught at least twice. He had stole from aunt and uncles as well. Beside the few times we caught up, we know for sure there has been many more times that he got away with it.

I did my part "legally" and provide food, shelter for him during my time of custody. However, for the past couple of weeks, he has been staying at his uncle home and they are aware of this.

I'm also fed up with his attitude here, he's lazy, school calls home daily, he refuse to do homework, chores, nothing.

I recently caught him with an air BB gun along with some E-Cigarettes. When I confronted him, he had a pen in his arm and I can tell by his reaction that he has thoughts of attacking me with it. I have a 1 year old and my wife is currently pregnant. I have reasons to believe that he can harm them when I'm not around. I want to help him every way I can but at the same time need to protect the family.

We've been trying very hard include taking him into therapy for many years to get him back on track but nothing seems to help.

I've read through all the post regarding "they're our children and we need to be responsible and all that" but trust me, we've tried everything we can think of. At this age I know I'm legally responsible but isn't there anything we can do?

So when the police were called and the thefts were reported, what did they say? When you filed in juvenile court that junior is incorrigible, what happened? When you took away all of junior's belonging except a mattress and a change of clothes, what happened? When he was a child, how many times was he told no? When you took him to a psychiatrist and had a full psychiatric evaluation completed, with what was junior diagnosed?

 

[stealth2]

I, too, wonder what you have actually done besides "trying" therapy and getting him on track, since it obviously hasn't helped. As OG asked - have you had him evaluated by a psychiatrist? Reported his thefts to the police? And so on, and so forth.

 

[stealth2]

Guess it's not that important.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (California)

Our 15 year old son (turning 16 next feb) has been constantly stealing, lying and getting in trouble in school. He spends a couple days a week with her. Until recently she kicked him out of her house for stealing quite a bit of money from her. He had stole many times from her in the past over the summer alone he was caught at least twice. He had stole from aunt and uncles as well. Beside the few times we caught up, we know for sure there has been many more times that he got away with it.

I did my part "legally" and provide food, shelter for him during my time of custody. However, for the past couple of weeks, he has been staying at his uncle home and they are aware of this.

I'm also fed up with his attitude here, he's lazy, school calls home daily, he refuse to do homework, chores, nothing.

I recently caught him with an air BB gun along with some E-Cigarettes. When I confronted him, he had a pen in his arm and I can tell by his reaction that he has thoughts of attacking me with it. I have a 1 year old and my wife is currently pregnant. I have reasons to believe that he can harm them when I'm not around. I want to help him every way I can but at the same time need to protect the family.

We've been trying very hard include taking him into therapy for many years to get him back on track but nothing seems to help.

I've read through all the post regarding "they're our children and we need to be responsible and all that" but trust me, we've tried everything we can think of. At this age I know I'm legally responsible but isn't there anything we can do?

Yes there is absolutely something you can do.

Parent the child.