help for 15 yr old

[nashsammy]

What is the name of your state? Pa
Not sure if this is the right forum but since she is a teen I am posting here. I need help asap with info on how to get my daughter out of inpatient facility that is not doing her any good.
She is a great daughter, great personality and not perfect but great! She got involved with a 20 yr old who has done nothing but put her down and play mind games with her and finally she tried to take her life by overdosing on tuesday nite. I really don't believe she wanted to die but I think she wanted him to find out what she tried to do and he would fall all over her. We tried to make her understand she could have been gone forever and he wouldn't have cared, but she would hurt the people who loved her most.
Anyway to get to the legal part, the social worker at the hospital gave us 2 choices to either get help outside or inpatient help. She recommended inpatient because she said it would only be a 3 day evaluation and done with. OK we go to visit her the day she is to go to this mental health palce and talk with case worker and now she said it could be longe maybe by a few days etc. I got upset and told her we talked about the 3 days and she agreed that was all. Then she wanted to send her to one place that I knew about and no child should ever go there. I asked her if she ever went to visit this place and she of course never did. I refused to send her there. She then recommended this other place and again she has never been there but said it was better.
I decided I wanted to take my daughter home and get outside help. She threatened then they would admit her involuntary and we would have no say. We were all upset ovwer this threat and finally agreed to send her there. The place might be a step better than the other but it is terrible. Whatever evaluation they do its basicly about 1 to 2 hours in the evening I think. Other wise she is in a room by herself or out in day room and she is getting so upset. I ahte to see her that way! I know we can help her get better care. Is there anything we can do to get her home since we all agreed to voluntarily admit her?
I need to know asap on my rights so I can get her started with the right care not this institutionalized care where they are all treated as one not individuals. The teen rooms are overcrowded they put her in with 4 to 12 year olds.
Please let me know what steps to take? And when I told the casewrker at the hospital I wanted to take her home she said can you watch her 24/7 and I said yes she said apparently not because she wouldn't have done what she did! That really shock me up! Was I supposed to watch a 15 yr old who had no previous problems 24/7?
Thank you

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Is your daughter's stay covered by private insurance? If it is, you could do some research and find a facility better equipped for your daughter.

How old is your daughter?

 

[nashsammy]

she is 15 and has state insurance since we adopted her from the state.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

To be honest, no one likes to stay in the hospital. But your daughter did try to kill herself because of her association with a 20 year old (what was she doing with a 20 year old anyway?). Whether or not she intended to actually kill herself is beside the point. She would have been just as dead either way.

Evidently, the doctor's feel she needs the 24/7 care because she is still a threat to herself. You could try and remove her AMA (Against Medical Advice), but that has several negative consequences. First, the hospital might commit her involuntarily. Second, insurance doesn't pay for AMA, so you could be stuck with the cost for her entire stay (this is a common threat, but I'm not sure it applies to state insurance).

During the involuntary committment process, the hospital might claim it is necessary to protect the life of your daughter because she is still a threat to herself and there is insufficient supervision at home (otherwise, how did she hook up with a 20 year old?).

I'm not trying to be mean, but sometimes it best to let the system work. Talk to other parents in similar situations. There are support groups available, for example, through NAMI (national alliance on mental illness).

 

[nashsammy]

This 20 yr old was not with our permission. Of course she met him from school as he was repeating and 19 at the time. We of course forbid it and the more you forbid it she was determined to see him espcially with school. Finally I allowed him in my home so I could see what he was like and check him out. He looks like he is 14 and acts it. very immature. We thought it was over because he told her he didn't like coming to her house and basicly never came here again, but again she is a teen and what teen won't try to do what she wants regardless of rules. I did contact the police dept and they said there wasn't much I could do.
My biggest concern now is her being kept away from what life she has always known. I do know kids that have chaged forever after placement and not for the good. I do want help and there are lots of in home mental helath services available in our area. She knows what she did was so wrong and how much pain she went rhu she never wants to feel that pain again!
We don't suger coat what happened we are letting her know it was very serious and the reality of what she did. I still am upset but I also know my child, not all the time as I am sure nay one with teens or has beern a teen knows parents don't know them when they are with friends etc, but we can keep close to them and watch them when we can. I am one that calls where ever she goes to make sure she is going to be there and that an adult would be there too.
I am not perfect either and at times have left her got o the mall with firneds but I know a parent took them there and brought them home. I trust my teens until they lose that trust and then they do get consequences.
Keeping them busy is what I am told gets them thru teen years and she did work part time after school and had chores at home.
I know anyone who wants to attempt to take their life will do so no matter how old or how much they are watched. Once its known they tried this then the best help is needed, not this bottom of the barrel help they have but her into. Thats what worries me most! I know they have at home help availalble and they will come daily if needed.
We need her home and she wants to be home. Can contacting a lawyer help?