honest mistake

[bizzeemom]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I went shopping with a girlfriend and when we arrived at the store, my 20 month old had fallen asleep. Instead of disturbing her rest, I pulled the van into the firelane of the stripmall right next to the window where she was visible at all times, checked her environment (outdoor temperature was 64 degrees, checked belts on her carseat, etc), locked the van and went in the store for a few minutes. It was a small store so I could see her at all times, and my friend and I checked on her every few minutes. The child was never in any danger. I was very careful. The police came out and a DCFS report was made. I have received two visits from DCFS investigators. They say that this will most likely will be sent as "indicated" and I may be facing criminal charges as well. What does this all mean and how serious can this get? How many interviews should I conduct with DCFS and how long will this drag on? This happened in early April and they keep extending their deadline to file the report. If the States Attorney was going to press charges would have I heard by now?

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I went shopping with a girlfriend and when we arrived at the store, my 20 month old had fallen asleep. Instead of disturbing her rest, I pulled the van into the firelane of the stripmall right next to the window where she was visible at all times, checked her environment (outdoor temperature was 64 degrees, checked belts on her carseat, etc), locked the van and went in the store for a few minutes. It was a small store so I could see her at all times, and my friend and I checked on her every few minutes. The child was never in any danger. I was very careful. The police came out and a DCFS report was made. I have received two visits from DCFS investigators. They say that this will most likely will be sent as "indicated" and I may be facing criminal charges as well. What does this all mean and how serious can this get? How many interviews should I conduct with DCFS and how long will this drag on? This happened in early April and they keep extending their deadline to file the report. If the States Attorney was going to press charges would have I heard by now?

This certainly wasn't an honest mistake. If you didn't want to disturb your daughter, you shouldn't have left her in the car alone. You had 2 choices: to disturb her by taking her into the store with you OR to leave her sleeping and stay in the car with her until she woke up.

If you could see her at all times, why did your friend need to check up on her? Why wasn't she in danger? Your car couldn't have been broken into while you were in the store? The vehicle couldn't have been hit while you were in the store? She couldn't have woken up scared while you were in the store?

What was in the store that was more important than your daughter?

Now this seems to be "dragging on"? Why, because the state is more concerned about your daughter's well-being than you are/were?

Did you get a ticket for parking in the fire lane? You should have. What if there was an emergency? I take it that wouldn't have been your responsibility either.

Not once did you say that what you did was wrong. It doesn't seem as if you learned your lesson very well.

 

[bizzeemom]

Further explanation

Yes it was a mistake (hence the title) it was a judgment call ( all parents make them) and apparently this was not a good one and I have been much more careful ever since. My daughter was NOT in any danger. I put her where I did so I could see her at all times. The van was locked with the alarm set. It was not hot out, the van was not running, and she was secure in her seat. I was only on the other side of the store window but a few moments. Yes, it could have been hit, but that could have happened with me in there as well. There is no way to explain this without it sounding like a poor situation. I also did not write this to receive criticism, I feel terrible enough. I wrote it for, like the website states, legal advice. If you don't have any, then please keep your comments to yourself.

 

[ihatethiscomp]

youre a sorry excuse for a mother

Yes it was a mistake (hence the title) it was a judgment call ( all parents make them) and apparently this was not a good one and I have been much more careful ever since. My daughter was NOT in any danger. I put her where I did so I could see her at all times. The van was locked with the alarm set. It was not hot out, the van was not running, and she was secure in her seat. I was only on the other side of the store window but a few moments. Yes, it could have been hit, but that could have happened with me in there as well. There is no way to explain this without it sounding like a poor situation. I also did not write this to receive criticism, I feel terrible enough. I wrote it for, like the website states, legal advice. If you don't have any, then please keep your comments to yourself.

a few moments is all it takes for a car theif to break in and take off with your car and child. or someone to break in and take your child, and you probaly would never see her again.dont you get it now? YOU were in the wrong for leaving YOUR child unattended in YOUR car.WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? are you totally without brain cells? you deserve to be charged with child endangerment, because thats what you did, you endangered your child by leaving her alone in your car, doesnt matter if the car was locked, doesnt matter if your friend checked on her every few moments, if your child had been kidnapped, or hurt or killed, guess who is responsible? YOU!

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I went shopping with a girlfriend and when we arrived at the store, my 20 month old had fallen asleep. Instead of disturbing her rest, I pulled the van into the firelane of the stripmall right next to the window where she was visible at all times, checked her environment (outdoor temperature was 64 degrees, checked belts on her carseat, etc), locked the van and went in the store for a few minutes. It was a small store so I could see her at all times, and my friend and I checked on her every few minutes. The child was never in any danger. I was very careful. The police came out and a DCFS report was made. I have received two visits from DCFS investigators. They say that this will most likely will be sent as "indicated" and I may be facing criminal charges as well. What does this all mean and how serious can this get? How many interviews should I conduct with DCFS and how long will this drag on? This happened in early April and they keep extending their deadline to file the report. If the States Attorney was going to press charges would have I heard by now?

Child neglect is always serious - and it sounds as though the authorities are treating it as such. You say she was never in any danger. But she was. As has been indicated by a previous poster, however, any number of things could have happened. Certainly, some things could have happened even if you were sitting in the car with her, but you also would have been able to react more quickly. Personally, I'd have no more discussion with DCFS without input from an attorney.

 

[shell007]

I have this horrible vision of a tow truck pulling up and.....bye, bye baby!!

I've heard of some towing companies who sit lurking and immediately tow away vehicles as soon as the driver leaves the vehicle. These guys can be quick too. 5 minutes is all they need.

 

[moburkes]

Yes it was a mistake (hence the title) it was a judgment call ( all parents make them) and apparently this was not a good one and I have been much more careful ever since. My daughter was NOT in any danger. I put her where I did so I could see her at all times. The van was locked with the alarm set. It was not hot out, the van was not running, and she was secure in her seat. I was only on the other side of the store window but a few moments. Yes, it could have been hit, but that could have happened with me in there as well. There is no way to explain this without it sounding like a poor situation. I also did not write this to receive criticism, I feel terrible enough. I wrote it for, like the website states, legal advice. If you don't have any, then please keep your comments to yourself.

I'm still trying to figure out what gave YOU the right to PARK your vehicle in a fire lane.

 

[shell007]

I'm still trying to figure out what gave YOU the right to PARK your vehicle in a fire lane.

Maybe because she thought leaving the unattended vehicle and the SLEEPING BABY in the parking lot was a bad idea!!!

 

[moburkes]

Maybe because she thought leaving the unattended vehicle and the SLEEPING BABY in the parking lot was a bad idea!!!

Rrriiiggghhhttt! I get it now. So, it was smarter and SAFER to park in a fire lane, even though that was illegal. It was better to park illegally, than leave the sleeping baby in the parking lot.

OP: People do make mistakes. However, the tone of your post suggests that this only became a "mistake" when you got into trouble. Again, you never apologized or appeared to be remorseful for your actions.

I'm a single mom of two kids, who works full-time, and goes to school part-time. I'd love to just run into a store, and leave the kids in the car for a few minutes. They're 5 months and 29 months (almost 2 1/2). Its certainly not easy having to lug 2 sleeping kids into the grocery store, or wheretever else. Sometimes I don't leave the house to run necessary errands, because I KNOW they will fall asleep, and I will have to lug 2 sleeping kids around. I don't have help close by. You, on the other hand, were with another adult. Instead of 1 of you staying in the car, you both chose to shop. If an ambulance pulled up, or a fire truck, your car was illegally parked, at the very least. If they couldn't access someone who needed help because you weren't thinking...

I've done lots of stupid, horrible things while trying to raise my kids. I've never tried to justify any of them. Maybe if you had a better attitude, the authorities could understand better.

You spent a lot of time justifying your actions. You spent a lot of time checking up on your daughter (supposedly).

Instead of disturbing her rest, I pulled the van into the firelane of the stripmall right next to the window where she was visible at all times, checked her environment (outdoor temperature was 64 degrees, checked belts on her carseat, etc), locked the van and went in the store for a few minutes. It was a small store so I could see her at all times, and my friend and I checked on her every few minutes. The child was never in any danger. I was very careful.

The time would have been better spent taking care of your daughter. You never said that this was the first time doing this, and you won't do it again. You never said that you realized your mistake, and that you are sorry that you did it. That's the problem.

Shopping was, apparently, more important than your child's well-being. Yes, accidents happen even when we are near. Of course, they do. We can't stop kids from being kids, and we can't always stop them from being hurt. But we can put our priorities in order. You did just that. And that's why you are being investigated.

 

[shell007]

Rrriiiggghhhttt! I get it now. So, it was smarter and SAFER to park in a fire lane, even though that was illegal. It was better to park illegally, than leave the sleeping baby in the parking lot.

moburkes: I'm pretty sure were on the same page here. My ability to express humor is a little off this morning. Maybe I need another cup-o-Joe!

OP: Don't expect this to be over anytime soon. What you did was serious. You will be under the microscope for a while.

 

[moburkes]

moburkes: I'm pretty sure were on the same page here. My ability to express humor is a little off this morning. Maybe I need another cup-o-Joe!

OP: Don't expect this to be over anytime soon. What you did was serious. You will be under the microscope for a while.

Nope, we're still on the same page. I was being sarcastic, as were you. I understood completely. I was "piggy backing" on to what you said. The rest was directed to OP.

I don't drink coffee. I think its yucky! But right now, if it would wake ME up, I might just get some!!!

 

[shell007]

Nope, we're still on the same page. I was being sarcastic, as were you. I understood completely. I was "piggy backing" on to what you said. The rest was directed to OP.

I don't drink coffee. I think its yucky! But right now, if it would wake ME up, I might just get some!!!

Do you think the OP will stop back in for a visit?

 

[moburkes]

Do you think the OP will stop back in for a visit?

I think about that, too, all the time. I can only ASSume that she will get the email notification, and read that. Because she surely responded very quickly to my first message!

In either case, it amazes me that people come here looking for sympathy, and get upset when a different viewpoint is presented. I CAN'T, imagine, then, how they present themselves to a judge.

 

[shell007]

I think about that, too, all the time. I can only ASSume that she will get the email notification, and read that. Because she surely responded very quickly to my first message!

In either case, it amazes me that people come here looking for sympathy, and get upset when a different viewpoint is presented. I CAN'T, imagine, then, how they present themselves to a judge.

I often envision OP's, after not liking what they hear, curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, sucking their thumbs, saying "oh God, oh God".

 

[moburkes]

I often envision OP's, after not liking what they hear, curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, sucking their thumbs, saying "oh God, oh God".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I often laugh when they come back sounding even more stupid than they did in the FIRST place, and try to keep defending WHY oh WHY they were right, and the rest of us were wrong. Especially when they start adding details that were never in the original post in the first place, to help back up what point they're trying to make. Stooopid.