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  1. #1
    lil_curious is offline Junior Member
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    Legal age for minors to date adult?

    The state I live in is New Mexico. I have a question no one seems willing to answer for me. Not my parents, counselors, teachers. So, I'm hoping I can find some answers. I'm 15, I'll be 16 within a month. I met a guy, in which we began to like each other and so our relationship stayed pretty much the same, only instead of calling each other friends, we called each other boyfriend/ girlfriend. There has never been any sexual talk or contact between us and it is a long distance relationship. The only problem was he was an adult while I was a minor. I told my parents about our relationship and how we really liked each other and that was all and that I'd like them to be involved. My dad talked to him, and soon after that, me and him could no longer have any contact with each other and if we did and we were caught, the authorities would be notified. My dad didn't give any reason behind his actions. I think that scared both of us, and I didn't want to take it to that extreme and it wasn't worth it. Since though, I am almost 16, the older I get, the less control I guess my parents will have over my actions. My question is, in New Mexico, when in fact I do turn 16, what can I and can I not do legally besides physically meeting or talk of sexual or inapprpriate matter. Would I be able to date him through long distance without running into trouble with the law, because I certainly don't want to do that.
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_curious View Post
    The state I live in is New Mexico. I have a question no one seems willing to answer for me. Not my parents, counselors, teachers. So, I'm hoping I can find some answers. I'm 15, I'll be 16 within a month. I met a guy, in which we began to like each other and so our relationship stayed pretty much the same, only instead of calling each other friends, we called each other boyfriend/ girlfriend. There has never been any sexual talk or contact between us and it is a long distance relationship. The only problem was he was an adult while I was a minor. I told my parents about our relationship and how we really liked each other and that was all and that I'd like them to be involved. My dad talked to him, and soon after that, me and him could no longer have any contact with each other and if we did and we were caught, the authorities would be notified. My dad didn't give any reason behind his actions. I think that scared both of us, and I didn't want to take it to that extreme and it wasn't worth it. Since though, I am almost 16, the older I get, the less control I guess my parents will have over my actions. My question is, in New Mexico, when in fact I do turn 16, what can I and can I not do legally besides physically meeting or talk of sexual or inapprpriate matter. Would I be able to date him through long distance without running into trouble with the law, because I certainly don't want to do that.
    okay, let's say you don't respect your parents wishes. as a minor, here's the next option for them. they get a restraining order on this adult who is harrassing their family. then, when you deliberately disobey them causing your "boyfriend" to violate a court order, he goes to jail. when he gets out, THEN you would most likely be 18 and can date him as you please. but by then, Bubba will have enjoyed his way with him. and "boyfriend" will be so traumatized, he wouldn't want to date you anyway.
  3. #3
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano View Post
    okay, let's say you don't respect your parents wishes. as a minor, here's the next option for them. they get a restraining order on this adult who is harrassing their family. then, when you deliberately disobey them causing your "boyfriend" to violate a court order, he goes to jail. when he gets out, THEN you would most likely be 18 and can date him as you please. but by then, Bubba will have enjoyed his way with him. and "boyfriend" will be so traumatized, he wouldn't want to date you anyway.
    Bubba sure does get around
  4. #4
    lil_curious is offline Junior Member
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    I've actually taken that into consideration, and I want to obey the law and obey my parents as best as I can. I do respect both authorities, and so I want to look at the situation on many different levels and understand what I can and cannot do and also understand the consequences to those actions. For me, by understanding that, I could work out a solution that will be agreed upon on all sides and be most beneficial and safe to everyone, including me, my parents, the law, and my boyfriend. But that's the problem I'm having because, everyone is telling me some information, but leaving out other information such as New Mexico law, and what applies to me and makes me aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable. I don't want to make any decisions without knowing the whole story? i guess. I don't know how to say that exactly, do you understand?
  5. #5
    cbg
    cbg is offline Senior Member
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    You DO understand that you are still a minor at 16, right?
  6. #6
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_curious View Post
    I've actually taken that into consideration, and I want to obey the law and obey my parents as best as I can. I do respect both authorities, and so I want to look at the situation on many different levels and understand what I can and cannot do and also understand the consequences to those actions. For me, by understanding that, I could work out a solution that will be agreed upon on all sides and be most beneficial and safe to everyone, including me, my parents, the law, and my boyfriend. But that's the problem I'm having because, everyone is telling me some information, but leaving out other information such as New Mexico law, and what applies to me and makes me aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable. I don't want to make any decisions without knowing the whole story? i guess. I don't know how to say that exactly, do you understand?
    you have two options. obey your parents. or don't obey your parents and suffer the consequences. (as will the boyfriend)

    your boyfriend has two options, respect the law, and in doing so, respect the fact by law he is to stay away from the child. or cuddle with Bubba.

    you have two years to go. why be the reason your boyfriend has to file as a sexual predator for the rest of his life?
  7. #7
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_curious View Post
    I've actually taken that into consideration, and I want to obey the law and obey my parents as best as I can. I do respect both authorities, and so I want to look at the situation on many different levels and understand what I can and cannot do and also understand the consequences to those actions. For me, by understanding that, I could work out a solution that will be agreed upon on all sides and be most beneficial and safe to everyone, including me, my parents, the law, and my boyfriend. But that's the problem I'm having because, everyone is telling me some information, but leaving out other information such as New Mexico law, and what applies to me and makes me aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable. I don't want to make any decisions without knowing the whole story? i guess. I don't know how to say that exactly, do you understand?
    Listen to your mom and dad ~ end of story.
  8. #8
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wirelessany1 View Post
    Bubba sure does get around
    well, there's Bubba, or his 400 pound twin brother Tiny.
    Last edited by Isis1; 09-23-2009 at 05:57 PM. Reason: lost a few letters of the alphabet again...
  9. #9
    lil_curious is offline Junior Member
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    Yes, i do understand that I'd be a minor until I turn 18. But, in New Mexico, the age of consent is 17... No, i do not want to have sex at 17, or even 18. I believe that's for marriage and marriage alone. But, if 18 is the age you're not a minor, how then can you have sex with who ever you want to at 17, if you're still a monor? Or am I getting somethign wrong because I am a little confused...lol
  10. #10
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_curious View Post
    Yes, i do understand that I'd be a minor until I turn 18. But, in New Mexico, the age of consent is 17... No, i do not want to have sex at 17, or even 18. I believe that's for marriage and marriage alone. But, if 18 is the age you're not a minor, how then can you have sex with who ever you want to at 17, if you're still a monor? Or am I getting somethign wrong because I am a little confused...lol
    okay, i'll try again. regardless the age of consent, if mom and dad say no, then it's still no. they can still get a restraining order if they don't want a grown man around their child. as long as the child is 17 and under.

    if mom and dad say yes, then the adult has broken no laws.

    let me put it this way.

    mom and dad say no. you say yes to the adult. now, dad and mom can't charge the adult with a sexual crime, but they CAN still get a restraining order, adult disobeys court restraining order, adult goes to jail.

    so either way. mom and dad wins.
  11. #11
    Country Living is offline Senior Member
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    Any time a grown man wants to "date" a young girl, alarms sound. Read through some of the posts in this section where older man wants to date a young girl. Juvenile Law is under the Criminal Law section for a reason.

    This is what goes through our minds and your parent's minds:
    [LIST][*]He's a sexual predator (you think it's love, he's thinking about sex)[*]He can't have a normal relationship with anyone his own age.[*]He can control and manipulate you.[/LIST]

    Do you really want to disrespect your parents by going against them? Your parents will be with you forever. This bum will be out of your life the minute he tires of you or you get too old for him.

    When you're 18 and no longer a member of your parents' household, you can do what you want when you want and with whom you want. Hopefully you'll be wiser by that time.
  12. #12
    Rushia is offline Senior Member
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    As a minor your parents ARE the law. If they tell you no then you can't date him. Period. End of Story. Even if.

    I suspect what you're looking for is some law to wave under their noses saying "See it's legal that we can date". You won't find it as there are no laws on dating. All the AOC means is that your parents can't file a report for statutory rape. They can however ask for a restraining order if he continues to contact you against their wishes. There are several other charges they could attempt to press should you continue to have contact with them against their wishes.

    Your parents will win whether you like it or not. Find someone your own age to date.
  13. #13
    cbg
    cbg is offline Senior Member
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    Correction, Bella.

    The age of consent and the age of majority are two different things. If the minor's parents do not want her to date an adult at 17, they still have all the same rights and options as they have at 16. Their child is still a minor, even if she is over the age of consent.

    The age of consent means that the STATE will not pursuse statutory rape charges. It does not mean that the PARENTS have to allow their minor child to date someone they do not want her to date.

    Until the minor is 18, the parents are God. Regardless of what the state will and will not prosecute.
  14. #14
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    How old is this adult?
  15. #15
    lil_curious is offline Junior Member
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    I suppose that all makes sense, and trust me, i've thought about the what ifs and the things I may not see at the moment and the dangers of attempting to date an older guy and being a minor, a female minor at that. I understand that, if anyhtign ever happens to me, people are gonna look at my parents seeing as they are responsible for me until I am of age. It's not just trying to find someone to date though, for me it's, trying to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I've never even help hands with a guy, so things like this, i do think about in great detai loften. I'm sure ALL of you know what I'm talking about. I also know that you're thinking, that doesn't happen until you're older, and not a minor. But it has happened before in many ways people called impossible. And not all but some have turned out to be a great success. Expect the unexpected. I don't tihnk it's as much my boyfriend as it is me. But, I do appreciate all of your replies as you guys are the only ones who would reply to any of my comments made to this whole situation.
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