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Male turning twenty, Female turning sixteen

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MinuitOmbre

Junior Member
Name of State is California.

I recently got together with with a guy that I knew in highschool, freshman year. He was a senior, I was a freshman. I kept in touch with him two years by text as just friends. It's currently summer but I'll be a junior. This summer, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been dating for about a month now. My mom knows and he's my first boyfriend. She's upset with his age and while is still fairly normal with me besides talking about how she dislikes the age difference which I can understand. She also says that us dating or having a relationship is against the law and feels that she's breaking the law by not splitting us up right away.

We haven't done anything more than kiss. He's nineteen turning twenty in September and I'm fifteen turning sixteen, also in September. He's very polite and respectful to my mom as well as me. I can understand that she feels this relationship is not a... good thing? But what I was wondering, is if we are allowed to have a relationship or is it illegal? I've read some other similar questions but that was eighteen year olds with 15/16. I was also wondering if kissing is okay or if there's supposed to be like... no contact whatsoever besides say, hugs or handholding? We both understand the underage sex law and to wait till I'm eighteen. Is two years really that far away? Anywho, if someone could perhaps answer this I'd be really greatful...
 


Antigone*

Senior Member
Name of State is California.

I recently got together with with a guy that I knew in highschool, freshman year. He was a senior, I was a freshman. I kept in touch with him two years by text as just friends. It's currently summer but I'll be a junior. This summer, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been dating for about a month now. My mom knows and he's my first boyfriend. She's upset with his age and while is still fairly normal with me besides talking about how she dislikes the age difference which I can understand. She also says that us dating or having a relationship is against the law and feels that she's breaking the law by not splitting us up right away.

We haven't done anything more than kiss. He's nineteen turning twenty in September and I'm fifteen turning sixteen, also in September. He's very polite and respectful to my mom as well as me. I can understand that she feels this relationship is not a... good thing? But what I was wondering, is if we are allowed to have a relationship or is it illegal? I've read some other similar questions but that was eighteen year olds with 15/16. I was also wondering if kissing is okay or if there's supposed to be like... no contact whatsoever besides say, hugs or handholding? We both understand the underage sex law and to wait till I'm eighteen. Is two years really that far away? Anywho, if someone could perhaps answer this I'd be really greatful...
If mom says not then it is no.
 

MinuitOmbre

Junior Member
If mom says not then it is no.
That's another thing, mom never said no. She'll talk to him, is civil to him, questions him, but she never said anything to either of us saying, "No. I want you to stop dating him." My mom can be rather blunt about stuff, but she never said anything about me not being allowed to be his girlfriend.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You are setting yourself up to be the victim of statutory rape. You are also setting your "boyfriend" up to be the perpetrator of a felony. Wait the two years until it's all legal...but I'll bet that you have much different wants at that point...
 

MinuitOmbre

Junior Member
Nonetheless, so long as nothing is done in any sexual way and if mom doesn't say no at any point in time, then during the two years, then it's not illegal? Kissing allowed or no?

If I have to I'll break up with him, but no one is answering the main questions I have. At least an answer for the two above please? Much appreciated ^_^.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Nonetheless, so long as nothing is done in any sexual way and if mom doesn't say no at any point in time, then during the two years, then it's not illegal? Kissing allowed or no?

If I have to I'll break up with him, but no one is answering the main questions I have. At least an answer for the two above please? Much appreciated ^_^.
Let's put it this way. If you limit it to activities you would perform while sitting in the front row at a (traditional Christian) church service, you should be fine.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
Let's put it this way. If you limit it to activities you would perform while sitting in the front row at a (traditional Christian) church service, you should be fine.
The fact that you threw in "traditional" christion church with the parentheses, has me hysterically laughing!!
 

MinuitOmbre

Junior Member
Hmm... Ok. And I talked to one of my friends about it. He's more familiar with the law than me and yeah.. Okay I get it... thanks. ^_^ Oi California -Shakes head-
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The fact that you threw in "traditional" christion church with the parentheses, has me hysterically laughing!!
Yeah - almost posted without it...but realized that there are all sorts of religions out there ;)
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Hmm... Ok. And I talked to one of my friends about it. He's more familiar with the law than me and yeah.. Okay I get it... thanks. ^_^ Oi California -Shakes head-
This ain't just about California...

I've been very reserved. Frankly, it sounds to me like you've got yourself an immature adult man who fantasizes about minor girls. In my neck of the woods, that's called a pedophile.

See http://tinyurl.com/nn294y for more info
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
See, I would have said if they do nothing that one wouldn't do in front of their grandmother.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I recently got together with with a guy that I knew in highschool, freshman year. He was a senior, I was a freshman. I kept in touch with him two years by text as just friends. It's currently summer but I'll be a junior. This summer, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been dating for about a month now. My mom knows and he's my first boyfriend. She's upset with his age and while is still fairly normal with me besides talking about how she dislikes the age difference which I can understand. She also says that us dating or having a relationship is against the law and feels that she's breaking the law by not splitting us up right away.
DATING would not be against the law. The two of you engaging in ANY form of fondling, groping, intercourse, or other sexual activity aside from a kiss WOULD be a crime. Given his age, it could be charged as a felony (and he could be compelled to register as a sex offender depending on the activity). You are, quite literally, "jail bait" for him. Unless he is completely willing to keep the relationship to holding hands for two years (not very likely) then, okay. Otherwise, he is risking SERIOUS repercussions!
 
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