Minor Accomplice to Shoplifting

[hskrfiesta]

What is the name of your state? Nevada

My daughter was at the mall last night with her friend and her friend's mother who let them run off and do some "shopping". Her friend decided to shoplift from 3 different stores and when caught, since my daughter was fully aware of what she was doing, they let her know she could be prosecuted for the deed.

Since I wasn't there one of the store managers insisted on calling me. Here is the problem. The mother of the other child said that they couldn't legally call me because of "privacy rights" (since her daughter was the shoplifter) and also she claimed that she was the "legal guardian" of my daughter since she was spending the night and in her care.

I found out about this with my conversation with the store manager AFTER they left and from my daughter this morning who feels that she has been victimized because the mother raised such a stink.

I am HAPPY that I was called and I told them "to do what they need to do" after they explained the situation.

This mother has no legal rights to my child other than a sleep over. Was she so far out of whack with her child's "privacy rights" and being my daughter's "legal guardian" for the evening or am I out of whack thinking I have a right to know what my minor child is up to?

She is really annoyed at us that we have banned our daughter from hanging with someone who can get her in trouble and now that I have uncovered all of this I am even MORE angry. FYI, I am the 30 something of a 16 year old and she is pushing 60. She is really making me feel like I am out of line because of my age. This whole thing has been convoluted that my daughter feels like she has been mistreated here and is a victim. Any legal resources /articles about minor accomplices to shoplifting and legal guadianship that I can point her to so she can understand?What is the name of your state?

 

[Hot Topic]

Your daughter is not a "victim" unless she has claimed that the other girl pulled a weapon on her and threatened bodily harm unless your daughter kept quiet about what the other girl was doing. That doesn't seem to be the case. Since your daughter knew what she was doing and failed to stop the other girl or leave the scene, your daughter should be charged with whatever the law deems appropriate.

You should have been called since your daughter was involved in a criminal action.

I would worry more about what's going to happen to your daughter than what the other mother is saying/doing. The law will sort it out for her, you and your respective daughters.

 

[las365]

my daughter... feels that she has been victimized because the mother raised such a stink.

I'm not following this train of thought, but it has been a long time since I was 16

This whole thing has been convoluted that my daughter feels like she has been mistreated here and is a victim. Any legal resources /articles about minor accomplices to shoplifting and legal guadianship that I can point her to so she can understand?

Seriously, can you clarify just how your daughter thinks she has been victimized? Because she knows that she's old enough to walk away from a bad situation. She should have ditched the friend as soon as she realized she was shoplifting, used her cell phone or an old-fashioned pay phone and called you to come and get her.

You have a fine line to walk. You want her to have consequences and learn her lesson, but at the same time, if she can avoid a criminal conviction it's probably better for her in the long run as far as educational and employment opportunities go. I'm sorry I don't have a good suggestion of how to "scare her straight."

 

[Humusluvr]

I'm not following this train of thought, but it has been a long time since I was 16


Seriously, can you clarify just how your daughter thinks she has been victimized? Because she knows that she's old enough to walk away from a bad situation. She should have ditched the friend as soon as she realized she was shoplifting, used her cell phone or an old-fashioned pay phone and called you to come and get her.

You have a fine line to walk. You want her to have consequences and learn her lesson, but at the same time, if she can avoid a criminal conviction it's probably better for her in the long run as far as educational and employment opportunities go. I'm sorry I don't have a good suggestion of how to "scare her straight."

I DO!

I think you should march down to the store after having "Garden of Eden" time with daughter, and have daughter explain to store owner that she will never be part of such a scheme again, that she knows what happened was wrong, and that this girl is no longer a friend, because she doesn't hang out with criminals.

I think the store would be much less likely to prosecute your child if she fesses up, shows remorse, and you genuinely punish her. Try Ohiogal's "Garden of Eden" approach.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?referrerid=246160&t=408099

It doesn't matter what the 60 year old mom says, you worry about your daughter and raising her to know that if SHE ever decides to shoplift, her world will be upside down. Nip this in the bud FAST!

And the other mom has NO RIGHT to be claiming herself as the legal guardian of YOUR CHILD! Babysitting and legal guardianship are very different things! What is she going to do next, enroll your daughter in school? Take her for some medical care? This lady SERIOUSLY overstepped her boundaries.

 

[Hot Topic]

The problem is that the daughter thinks she's a victim instead of an accomplice to not one but three illegal acts. Any remorse she shows will not be genuine. There's no chance as long as her mother is more concerned about what the other girl's mother has said and done. The daughter is probably pouting about not being allowed to see her friend, as well as the way she was "victimized."

 

[farmgirl_48732]

I would venture a guess that the other mother, of the up and coming future felon, told her story so the store wouldn't call the "victim's mother, as the felon's mother thought she could handle the situation herself. She didn't want you to know.

As embarrassing as it is for you, I would do as the other poster suggested. March her to the store manager and make her apologize immediately. She won't like it, but too bad. I would be surprised if the mall didn't ban both of the girls from there.