Parents rights of 18+ child

[Tlieb1]

I live in NY state, and I have a 19yo stepdaughter who is out of control. She has taken over my wifes apartment and believes that she can do whatever she wants in the house, can come home at any time of the night. Basically come and go as she pleases.
I came into the home when she was 15yo to help her out ONLY after she had called 911 and had the other three children removed as well as herself. Over time, everyone was returned. She was court ordered to see a therapist and have an evaluation, but she didnt do it since she didnt want to when she was 16. Everyone including the police said we could remover her from the apartment at 18. At 18, we she left for two weeks, but came right back, and when we tried to have her removed, she freaked out. She called the police and said we didnt have the right to throw her stuff out and kick her out since it is her legal residence.
I have my own baby now and I fear anytime this girl is around my daughter and I want to know my rights with dealing with this girl. There is nothing to say or do to make her behave.

Please let me know my rights,
TL, NY

 

[fairisfair]

I live in NY state, and I have a 19yo stepdaughter who is out of control. She has taken over my wifes apartment and believes that she can do whatever she wants in the house, can come home at any time of the night. Basically come and go as she pleases.
I came into the home when she was 15yo to help her out ONLY after she had called 911 and had the other three children removed as well as herself. Over time, everyone was returned. She was court ordered to see a therapist and have an evaluation, but she didnt do it since she didnt want to when she was 16. Everyone including the police said we could remover her from the apartment at 18. At 18, we she left for two weeks, but came right back, and when we tried to have her removed, she freaked out. She called the police and said we didnt have the right to throw her stuff out and kick her out since it is her legal residence.
I have my own baby now and I fear anytime this girl is around my daughter and I want to know my rights with dealing with this girl. There is nothing to say or do to make her behave.

Please let me know my rights,
TL, NY

you say that this is your wife's apartment. Therefore you have no rights as far as evicting her goes, or of any other means of forcing her to leave.

Nothing that you have stated here indicates that she is a threat to your daughter. At least not legally.

You are somewhatg confusing in that your post indicates that you live there as well, and yet you say it is your wife's place. Are you and the wife still togehter? What is the custody status of the child that you have together?

 

[CdwJava]

If, for some strange reason, NY law does not allow you to just boot her sorry tail out the door, then go to court and seek a proper eviction. Or, if you can articulate a reasonable fear for your safety or that of any other household member, get a restraining order that will accomplish the same sort of thing.

The bottom line is that you CAN get her out of the home, you just have to pursue the act through the proper legal channels.

- Carl

 

[justalayman]

curious, since this website (and some others):

http://www.tangledmoon.org/majorityage.htm

lists the age of majority as 21 in the state of New York (although there are some sites that list 18 as the age of majority. I haven't been to the gov site to determine which is correct) if it would make any difference in the views of the posters.

I remember a thread in the past concerning a parent wanting to boot a kid but for some strange reason I seem to remember 19 as the age at that time.

anybody up for researching it in the New York statutes?

I have not read what one is entitled to from age 18 to 21 to see what may be allowed prior to 21.

 

[Tlieb1]

Wife and I are still together

We are still together, and the threat is not solely to me, it is also my wife, but she wanted to know what we would have to do to get her evicted. We are married and it is my legal residence as well.
I did not put down everything in the post that would indicate her as a threat as I do not like to air my dirty laundry all over the place, I just wanted to know what my (including my wife's) legal right towards her daughter. However there are many statements that she has made, some in front of the police, that she was taken to Bellevue for a psychiatric evaluation, but by then she had calmed herself down.
My wife always mentions that fuzzy gray area from 18 to 21, but I do not understand how at 16 she was all of a sudden able to do "whatever she wanted" without anyone telling her what to do, go to school or not, go to therapy or not, and then at 18 she has even more rights, but no consequences to her actions.
So, in order for my wife to evict her, have her removed, whatever I would have to do, what channels, which type of lawyers, would I have to go through?

Thank you,
TL, NY

 

[FlyingRon]

My wife always mentions that fuzzy gray area from 18 to 21, but I do not understand how at 16 she was all of a sudden able to do

There is no fuzzy grey area. The age of majority for everything but drinking is 18.

The only thing fuzzy is your wife's failure to deal with her adult child. If she doesn't want to comply with the rules of the house, the ultimate solution is "the highway".

 

[justalayman]

Family Court correctly determined that the age of majority
for custody purposes is 18 (see Family Ct Act § 119 [c]; § 651
[a]). Although parents are liable for support of their children
until the age of 21 (see Family Ct Act § 413 [1] [a]), courts may
not award a parent custody of a child over 18 years of age (see
Matter of Norwood v Capone, 15 AD3d 790, 793 [2005], appeal
dismissed 4 NY3d 878 [2005]; Matter of Lazaro v Lazaro, 227 AD2d
402, 402 [1996]; Toppel v Toppel, 67 AD2d 628, 628 [1979]).

that is an excerpt from

State of New York
Supreme Court, Appellate Division
Third Judicial Department
Decided and Entered: January 25, 2007 500670
________________________________
In the Matter of DARCY D.
LAROCK,
Appellant,
v MEMORANDUM AND ORDER
ARNOLD R. LAROCK JR.,
Respondent.
________________________________

Currently the state of New York site for their statutes is undergoing "housekeeping" and is not accessible, the above excerpt from an '07 court decision does referrence the fact that the age of majority is not as simply as stating it is 18. It would appear there are other things that come into play. As I posted prior, I do recall visiting the NY statutes before and the age of majority was not 18.

If anybody has a link (other than the NY gov site that lists the statutes of New York, it could be researched. I simply do not have access to any other site that does have the statutes.

FlyingRon; got a link????

 

[BL]

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyfaq01

When are my children emancipated, so that I am no longer obligated to support them?
A parents liability for the support of his or her children is limited to children under the age of 21 years. In the absence of an express or implied contract, parents have no duty to support an adult child. For custody, visitation and other purposes, the age of majority is age 18, but for purposes of the parental support obligation the age of majority remains at 21. The mutual parental duty of child support is not absolute. It may be suspended or terminated before the child is 21 if the child becomes emancipated by becoming economically independent of his/her parents through employment, by marriage or entry into the military service. Under unusual circumstances, a child may be deemed emancipated if he/she is guilty of outrageous misbehavior, such as makes it inequitable to enforce the support obligation, or if without cause, he/she withdraws from parental control and supervision.

 

[Bretagne]

As long as the stepdaughter doesn't have a lease with you, you won't need to evict her. Just have her trespassed. Call the cops to have her removed.

The case cited previously has more to do with child support than age of majority. In many states, the child is not emancipated (for child support purposes) until 21 if attending secondary school, but is legally emancipated and can be thrown out under these purposes.

 

[CdwJava]

Bretagne, while that may be the case in your state and mine, I have been told that some states have a slightly different interpretation of a resident - lease or not.

Out here, if the kid contributed anything to the household (food, rent, utilities) they are generally considered a tenant and would have to be otherwise removed. If not, then they are a gratuitous guest and may be asked to leave or potentially be charged with trespassing. Personally, these are a pain for the cops to deal with because it can be such tenuous ground. Most cops prefer a nice, clean court order saying the person needs to leave. Absent that, a signed citizen's arrest generally can convince the officer to remove them - after all, the burden and liability would no longer rest with them (at least out here).

- Carl

 

[BL]

There is no fuzzy grey area. The age of majority for everything but drinking is 18.

The only thing fuzzy is your wife's failure to deal with her adult child. If she doesn't want to comply with the rules of the house, the ultimate solution is "the highway".

I agree . In NY Parents can-not be charged with child neglect or mistreatment for their children over the age of 18 .

While the legal Adult may call the cops on there Parent(s) for booting them out , the cops can not force the re-entry .

In this case however the Step Dad has real no authority . The Mom would .

The 18 + could also voluntarily leave .

Another avenue is to call the police , if the 18 + is making physical threats of harming family members .

Once evaluated , the Parent(s) can tell the hosp. they don't want them back in the home .