problems with 15 year old

[yoki]

What is the name of your state? Ohio
My 15 year old daughter keeps sneaking out at night and is gone for 1-2 days. She hangs out with kids who are 18-20 years old. I do not approve of this so she just lies about where she is. I think she is drinking and doing drugs. Should I involve the police to try to sort this out?What is the name of your state?

 

[cbg]

1.) Remove her bedroom door from its hinges. Lock any windows.
2.) Take everything out of her room except a bare mattress and one set of clothes
3.) Take away her cell phone and put a lock on the family phone
4.) Block internet access on any family-accessed computers
5.) Escort her to and from school. Outside of school, ground her little ass.

She gets her privacy and her privileges back when she proves she can be trusted.

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state? Ohio
My 15 year old daughter keeps sneaking out at night and is gone for 1-2 days. She hangs out with kids who are 18-20 years old. I do not approve of this so she just lies about where she is. I think she is drinking and doing drugs. Should I involve the police to try to sort this out?What is the name of your state?

**A: are you kidding? You should have called the cops t he first time and made a runaway report. And keep calling until she is taken away and in a detention facility and given a drug test.

 

[yoki]

15 year old

Thanks for the advice.
She is grounded all the time. Thats why she says she leaves. What all can the police do?
Have you ever been in a situation like this with kids?

 

[xylene]

Thanks for the advice.
She is grounded all the time. Thats why she says she leaves. What all can the police do?
Have you ever been in a situation like this with kids?

They can take a runaway report.

Have you drug tested her?

 

[Silverplum]

Read some books on parenting, particularly parenting teens.
Start all over.

The perpetual grounding? Drug testing her? Tossing her into rehab? Go ahead...but you can see the results of authoritarian parenting within an authoritarian society already, can't you?

Start. All. Over.
And do it right this time.

 

[yoki]

15 year old

How do you start all over and from what point?
It does seem like the more I ground her the worse she gets.

Thanks again

 

[cbg]

I already gave you some suggestions on how to do that.

It's not enough to ground her; you have to make it stick.

 

[CdwJava]

Likely, the only thing the police MIGHT be able to do is rattle the cages of the adults she's hanging with for a couple of days. These adults might face charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor if they are harboring her or supplying her with drugs, alcohol, or a place to remain out of home or school.

Bottom line is a change in parenting styles and some "tough love" will have to be applied.

I suspect she has a lot of goodies that can be taken away that will make life miserable for her ... following CBG's suggestions can help.

- Carl