problems with son

[Lomar68]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My son of 15 is on probation (6 felonies , 4 counts of forgery) but he refuses to live in my house with his stepfather. He is not abused in any sense of the word. He threatened to kill his stepfather a week before he was arrested and this has drove a huge wedge in between my husband and my son. Is it legal for me to set up a tent or structure of some sort in the back yard, rent a port o let, let him take showers in my house and have clean clothes. He refuses to get help of any sort, he steals everything, threatens to set the house on fire and is about to be baker acted. I know that what it is that i need to provide and the local PD tells me that if I just want to rent him a motel room then I am within the law. I do not have money to keep up two places but am willing to provide the bare necessities to my son. Would I be in any violation of the law if I did this, and yes I know how it sounds.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Lomar68

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My son of 15 is on probation (6 felonies , 4 counts of forgery) but he refuses to live in my house with his stepfather. He is not abused in any sense of the word. He threatened to kill his stepfather a week before he was arrested and this has drove a huge wedge in between my husband and my son. Is it legal for me to set up a tent or structure of some sort in the back yard, rent a port o let, let him take showers in my house and have clean clothes. He refuses to get help of any sort, he steals everything, threatens to set the house on fire and is about to be baker acted. I know that what it is that i need to provide and the local PD tells me that if I just want to rent him a motel room then I am within the law. I do not have money to keep up two places but am willing to provide the bare necessities to my son. Would I be in any violation of the law if I did this, and yes I know how it sounds.

Send him to his father. You cannot have him living in a tent in the backyard. Unless of course you want the state to remove him from your home. At which point you can always call the state and ask that they remove him.

[Adalaide78]

You WANT your child, who has threatened to burn down your house and kill your husband, to be at your home? You say yourself that he refuses to get help. See if dad wants him, if not I'd suggest letting the state have him. No point getting divorced over a burnt down house when the kid is beyond help anyway. Assuming of course he doesn't just kill your husband while he's at it, I guess that would save the lawyers fees and paperwork.

[xylene]

Your son needs help. Badly.

You need to get him committed.

[Lomar68]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Send him to his father. You cannot have him living in a tent in the backyard. Unless of course you want the state to remove him from your home. At which point you can always call the state and ask that they remove him.

Thank you for respone but can you define calling the state for me. Exactly who does that involve. DCF? Lifestreams? Thank you again

[slwx]

people -- both children & adults -- often refuse help when they have some kind of mental illness.

maybe if he get's baker acted, it will be the best thing for him -- and for you.

my son got really sick at 15 -- different issues from yours -- but he didn't want help either. he was really, really mad at everyone when we pushed the issue, but i really think he would not be alive today without the help that he received.

[Lomar68]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Send him to his father. You cannot have him living in a tent in the backyard. Unless of course you want the state to remove him from your home. At which point you can always call the state and ask that they remove him.

I am pushing towards having him removed but I need to find out who to call. There is so much more to the story but this is what it has come to. i will provide for my son but he cannot come in my house due to his behavior and just blantant threats of harm. Never mind his disrespect at this time it is way past that but I do not need to be arrested for neglect but i have no idea who to call. Any suggestions?

[Lomar68]

Originally Posted by Banned_Princess

Please not my sarcasm as illustrated by the roll eyes smilie. (should not be smiling)

I did not take offense to this , I know how it sounds but I am trying to compromise this situation at the time until his threats subside. I am asking his probation officer to have him court ordered to my yard and cannot leave accept togo to school and return. If I have to place him lockdown at my home right now then I will. He is very very smart and has taken advantage of the fact that he is a minor and knows that he can get away with just about anything. I have moved three times to alleviate the situation and it just gets worse. His stepfather is not the issue and neither is anyone else... he is making choices based on hate right now and I have had my fill. thank you again

[PQN]

The next time he threatens to kill someone or does anything violent. You call the police and ask that he be transported to ER for a psych eval. If the docs decide he is a risk of harm to self or others, they will commit him (push hard for them to do so). If the docs do not admit him (which would shock me), then refuse to take him home.

(This assumes no other children in the home. I'd have additional advice if you have other children.)

Not a lawyer, just a parent who has BTDT and didn't even get a t-shirt.

[Bethy]

I understand you're wanting to compromise, but some things just can't be -- safety for one. If I were your hubby, I'd have a hard time being willing to stay in the same house as long as your son is there.

My daughter "switched" at the end of her Jr. year in H.S. Total opposite is an understatement. As a single mom w/ nobody to lean on, I was distraught at seeing what was happening. She has since had 4 suicide attempts and is still struggling in many areas. She was dual diagnosed bi-polar and also has a personality disorder. She STILL remains a resistant patient. I'm not saying this is what the problem w/ your son is, but your sanity WILL be challenged if you compromise much. My daughter's first psychiatrist strongly recommended I find a tough love group....I still (5/6 years later) go bi-weekly, and WOULD change the locks if I felt threatened.

I would definitely have mandatory counseling -- both together and separately -- and have him thoroughly physically and emotionally examined.

[Lomar68]

Originally Posted by PQN

The next time he threatens to kill someone or does anything violent. You call the police and ask that he be transported to ER for a psych eval. If the docs decide he is a risk of harm to self or others, they will commit him (push hard for them to do so). If the docs do not admit him (which would shock me), then refuse to take him home.

(This assumes no other children in the home. I'd have additional advice if you have other children.)

Not a lawyer, just a parent who has BTDT and didn't even get a t-shirt.

There are other children in my home but I thank you for your answer and I will follow your advice.

[Lomar68]

Originally Posted by Bethy

I understand you're wanting to compromise, but some things just can't be -- safety for one. If I were your hubby, I'd have a hard time being willing to stay in the same house as long as your son is there.

My daughter "switched" at the end of her Jr. year in H.S. Total opposite is an understatement. As a single mom w/ nobody to lean on, I was distraught at seeing what was happening. She has since had 4 suicide attempts and is still struggling in many areas. She was dual diagnosed bi-polar and also has a personality disorder. She STILL remains a resistant patient. I'm not saying this is what the problem w/ your son is, but your sanity WILL be challenged if you compromise much. My daughter's first psychiatrist strongly recommended I find a tough love group....I still (5/6 years later) go bi-weekly, and WOULD change the locks if I felt threatened.

I would definitely have mandatory counseling -- both together and separately -- and have him thoroughly physically and emotionally examined.

Thank you and i am sorry about your situation as well. I appreciate our input.

[dave33]

There are several programs for troubled youngsters. One for sure in your state is the Eckerd Foundation. This program was set up for minors with behavior problems,and would certainly be able to help. I would start by contacting them.goodluck.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by Lomar68

I did not take offense to this , I know how it sounds but I am trying to compromise this situation at the time until his threats subside. I am asking his probation officer to have him court ordered to my yard and cannot leave accept togo to school and return. If I have to place him lockdown at my home right now then I will. He is very very smart and has taken advantage of the fact that he is a minor and knows that he can get away with just about anything. I have moved three times to alleviate the situation and it just gets worse. His stepfather is not the issue and neither is anyone else... he is making choices based on hate right now and I have had my fill. thank you again

COURT ORDERED TO YOUR YARD? Lady that is considered NEGLECT. You can be arrested. Good grief. Why can't he got to his father since you seem completely and totally unable to deal with him? And actually YOU and stepdad are issues. You may not be causes but you are issues. You are a parent. YOU do not have a LEGAL RIGHT to have your "fill" as you put it. Call DFS and voluntarily explain that you are willing to neglect your child and that it requires state intervention and your son is dependent upon the state's help.

[chrismiles]

buy a dog house and chain him to it...you can also just feed him kibble and once he learns to fetch a ball and not poop on the floor let him back in the house...

by the way..you are full of it...this kid doesn't exsist...he would be juvi by now..