scared for teen

[ialvarez]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
is there any thing I can do to help a 15 year old girl. She is a friend of my son who is 17. She used to call and some times would visit us.
from what she tells us. She has ran away from home in the past.
and a few weeks ago she called and said she had trouble with her mom while she was doing her home work, because mom wanted to have family time at that moment and she had to much home work. any way, she said her mom slapped her, and she pushed her mom back.
Her step dad told her to leave the house and so she did. Later they called looking for her saying she ran away from home. she tells us that when she went back home her mom called the police and they took her to the police station and talked to both of them fro a while. after a few days she called and told us that her mom had taken her to some program that had to do with trouble teens and it was mainly aimed at kids that use drugs. she does not use drugs. as far as I know she has good grades in school. and is enrolled in sports at her school. Any way in this place she was put in a jail cell for a day along with other inmates that kept bothering her, and she said police officers also were screaming at her until she cryed. I don't know what kind of program this could be.
Today she called us scared, said her mom took her to a psychiatric clinic to stay there for a few days.
In the past she mentioned that her mom was rapped when she was young. i believe that mom is scared that this may happen to her daughter and is over protecting her.she did this (mom) because she does not want her to see or call my son. She is not his girlfriend, they are only friends. supposedly mom treatened to put a restraining order against us. We don't call her she calls or comes by.can we do anything to help her with out getting in trouble ourselves?
Ialvarez

[dave33]

I think it is very likely you are not getting an accurate account of what happened. Sounds like she is a very troubled kid and she's having a hard time at home. Her parents seem to be taking drastic measures and I find it unlikely they are doing it for no good reason. Perhaps this is one of those situations you should steer clear and ask your son to do the same. Sounds like she's having a hard time growing up, I'm not sure there is a remedy for that. It doesn't sound like there is abuse here.

[CdwJava]

You will know if she has a restraining order issued because you will have to be served with a copy of the order and noticed of the court date. No service equals no active order.

As for the rest, her story doesn't cut the mustard. If there are officers putting her in a cell, she is in custody - as in, juvenile hall. That implies incarceration pending trial or incarceration as a result of sentencing on a "true finding" (aka "guilty") by a court. Of course, it could also be that she was placed in a mental health facility, too,but that would be less like ajail and more like a hospital.

I would take what she says about her situation with a grain of salt. I have seen a great many good-intentioned people bamboozled by glib-tongued teenage girls who talk a good game and spin a web o ffins that are not quite the truth.

Be careful. if she shows up at your doorstep with a tale of woe, call the police or CPS, do not just believe the tale and let her stay or you could find yourself charged with a crime.

- Carl

[dave33]

Carl, the impression i got from the jail story was that she was in a program that brought the kids to experience incarceration for the day. Maybe that states version of a juvenile "scared straight" program. I guess it really doesn't matter as it doesn't address the other issues, just the impression i got.

[CdwJava]

Originally Posted by dave33

Carl, the impression i got from the jail story was that she was in a program that brought the kids to experience incarceration for the day. Maybe that states version of a juvenile "scared straight" program. I guess it really doesn't matter as it doesn't address the other issues, just the impression i got.

We don't generally run those scared straight types of programs here these days due to liability issues that were raised some years back. When they are run, they tend to be day trips to prisons. It might be possible for such a local program to exist somewhere, but I suspect that the story was skewed in the telling or a bold faced lie to the OP by the girl.

The counseling programs I can see, but being "put in a jail cell for a day along with other inmates that kept bothering her," there are just so many legal issues wrapped up in that I couldn't begin to imagine who would do that! Unless a MOCK program or a "boot camp" for troubled but unsentenced teens, such a thing would be a dangerous idea - and almost certainly unlawful (under CA law you cannot house non-criminal minors within sight and sound of sentenced inmates).

- Carl