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Sexual Assalt accusation against my 14 year old

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tkathlina

Junior Member
MINNESOTA

A 12 year old boy who used to be friends with my son 14, accused my son of a sexual assault. ( I do not have the detail of the allegation-the police are investigating)

The accuser told my son 3 months ago he was going to make this accusation. The accuser was upset that my son was making plans to stay the night with the accusers best friend. When the police investigator contacted me, she asked me about a specific date-which the accuser gave. The accuser was at his friends house on that weekend, my son was playing basketball for the school and was not here, and phone records show no communication between the two.

As of now, the police are still investigating, but have not separated the two boys at school. Per a free consultation with a lawyer today, he said, even though all the evidence stacks up against the accusers story, it does not matter, my son will be charged anyway, the courts see it as why would the boy make this up? The lawyer wants $4000 as a retainer, then $15,000 for a trial.

How do I solve this problem. These are two special needs kids, fighting over stupid stuff and now it has gone to far. I called the boys mothers tonight and left voice mail message. It seems to me, with phone records and basketball practice indicating the boys were not even together, the adults can settle this without everyone going bankrupt and getting screwed by high fees.

What does a charge of 5th degree entail, penlites, record, etc? Need help. Thanks
 


Ladyback1

Senior Member
MINNESOTA

A 12 year old boy who used to be friends with my son 14, accused my son of a sexual assault. ( I do not have the detail of the allegation-the police are investigating)

The accuser told my son 3 months ago he was going to make this accusation. The accuser was upset that my son was making plans to stay the night with the accusers best friend. When the police investigator contacted me, she asked me about a specific date-which the accuser gave. The accuser was at his friends house on that weekend, my son was playing basketball for the school and was not here, and phone records show no communication between the two.

As of now, the police are still investigating, but have not separated the two boys at school. Per a free consultation with a lawyer today, he said, even though all the evidence stacks up against the accusers story, it does not matter, my son will be charged anyway, the courts see it as why would the boy make this up? The lawyer wants $4000 as a retainer, then $15,000 for a trial.

How do I solve this problem. These are two special needs kids, fighting over stupid stuff and now it has gone to far. I called the boys mothers tonight and left voice mail message. It seems to me, with phone records and basketball practice indicating the boys were not even together, the adults can settle this without everyone going bankrupt and getting screwed by high fees.

What does a charge of 5th degree entail, penlites, record, etc? Need help. Thanks
consult another attorney.
And do not contact the other kid's family, or speak to them if they contact you.
I would request the school to keep the boys separate as much as possible.

But seriously, you need to find another attorney to speak to.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
It is not typical for a DA to pursue a case where they cannot prevail. Not only is it a waste of time, but it could be malfeasance.

If they pursue the case, it will be because they have more evidence, or, the dates are fudgy (i.e. not exact). The police will keep investigating it until they and the DA are satisfied that they have what they need to make a decision one way or the other.

Also, I strongly recommend you NOT talk to the accuser's parents! You could be accused of witness tampering, or even say something that could be seen as incriminating or misinterpreted.

I would consult a total of at least three attorneys to see what they have to say. if they all agree that he will be charged regardless of the evidence, then that says something about the local DA's office. But, if the others take a more cautions wait-and-see approach, you might find things turning out better.
 

tkathlina

Junior Member
consult another attorney.
And do not contact the other kid's family, or speak to them if they contact you.
I would request the school to keep the boys separate as much as possible.

But seriously, you need to find another attorney to speak to.
Why not try and get this resolved between parents/adults? I don't see the logic for both sides trying to pay police, attorney, judges, etc because two brats can't get a long.
 

Mass_Shyster

Senior Member
Why not try and get this resolved between parents/adults? I don't see the logic for both sides trying to pay police, attorney, judges, etc because two brats can't get a long.
Because You could be accused of witness tampering, or even say something that could be seen as incriminating or misinterpreted.

(Sorry, Carl, that was too good to not copy/paste).

The stakes are pretty high here. A conviction could label your son as a sex offender for life.
 

tkathlina

Junior Member
It is not typical for a DA to pursue a case where they cannot prevail. Not only is it a waste of time, but it could be malfeasance.

If they pursue the case, it will be because they have more evidence, or, the dates are fudgy (i.e. not exact). The police will keep investigating it until they and the DA are satisfied that they have what they need to make a decision one way or the other.

Also, I strongly recommend you NOT talk to the accuser's parents! You could be accused of witness tampering, or even say something that could be seen as incriminating or misinterpreted.

I would consult a total of at least three attorneys to see what they have to say. if they all agree that he will be charged regardless of the evidence, then that says something about the local DA's office. But, if the others take a more cautions wait-and-see approach, you might find things turning out better.
It would seem logical that the DA wouldn't pursue something that the evidence says the kid wasn't even at my house. But the attorney I talked to acted like in this area, everyone is a hard ass and your guilty no matter what, thus he will be charged. I'm thinking of course, then why do I need you if you can't prevent that. Why do I have to pay you a $4000 retainer? I feel good that the police have not asked for follow up questions, or separated the kids, etc. That tells me they don't have anything, which would be because there is nothing to find.

How do I handle the DA phone call telling me their decision? In other words, they say, we want to charge 5th degree. If I say no, what happens? Do they come and arrest my 14 year old? Or is there just a trial date set? Thanks!
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
It would seem logical that the DA wouldn't pursue something that the evidence says the kid wasn't even at my house. But the attorney I talked to acted like in this area, everyone is a hard ass and your guilty no matter what, thus he will be charged. I'm thinking of course, then why do I need you if you can't prevent that. Why do I have to pay you a $4000 retainer? I feel good that the police have not asked for follow up questions, or separated the kids, etc. That tells me they don't have anything, which would be because there is nothing to find.

How do I handle the DA phone call telling me their decision? In other words, they say, we want to charge 5th degree. If I say no, what happens? Do they come and arrest my 14 year old? Or is there just a trial date set? Thanks!
Why do you have to pay a plumber? (We did recently: leaking pipe, dreadful mess, water bill through the roof.)

Why do you have to pay a roofer? (We did recently. New roof, yay!)

Why do you have to pay a dentist? (We did recently. Mmmm, clean teeth.)

Get my point?
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Why not try and get this resolved between parents/adults? I don't see the logic for both sides trying to pay police, attorney, judges, etc because two brats can't get a long.
It is apparently too late for that. Had this been done BEFORE the police were involved, maybe ... but, now, the stakes are too high.
 

tkathlina

Junior Member
Why do you have to pay a plumber? (We did recently: leaking pipe, dreadful mess, water bill through the roof.)

Why do you have to pay a roofer? (We did recently. New roof, yay!)

Why do you have to pay a dentist? (We did recently. Mmmm, clean teeth.)

Get my point?
Yes, I understand.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
It would seem logical that the DA wouldn't pursue something that the evidence says the kid wasn't even at my house.
Assuming the victim got the dates correct. Typically, the kids recall a circumstance but may not recall the specific date, so you investigate to determine if the circumstances ever matched a particular date within a specified range of time.

And, yes, I have spent much of my career investigating these accusations.

But the attorney I talked to acted like in this area, everyone is a hard ass and your guilty no matter what, thus he will be charged.
Keep in mind that he wants your business, so he may be giving you the scary story. You're free to hire him if you wish, and $4,000 for a retainer doesn't seem too overpriced ... unless no charges are filed and he has to make no motions.

I'm thinking of course, then why do I need you if you can't prevent that. Why do I have to pay you a $4000 retainer? I feel good that the police have not asked for follow up questions, or separated the kids, etc. That tells me they don't have anything, which would be because there is nothing to find.
That may be.

Your child doesn't have to speak to the police, and neither do you. But, do not LIE to anyone! If they come to you with questions, you can decline to respond. But, if you LIE then you can be charged with a crime. And also remember that there is NO parent-child confidentiality. If junior tells you something that could be incriminating him, you cannot refuse to repeat it if asked about it on the stand. So, you may want to limit your conversations with him on the matter. While most DAs tend to avoid putting parents in that situation, they can do so.

How do I handle the DA phone call telling me their decision? In other words, they say, we want to charge 5th degree. If I say no, what happens? Do they come and arrest my 14 year old? Or is there just a trial date set? Thanks!
If the DA calls and says he intends to charge your son, get a hold o fan attorney immediately.
 

tkathlina

Junior Member
It is apparently too late for that. Had this been done BEFORE the police were involved, maybe ... but, now, the stakes are too high.
I guess everyone is in agreement, let a false accusation turn into big time pay days for lawyers and judges instead of the parents just getting together and be parents. Go thru public humiliation on both sides and spend everyone's time and money on two boys who just can't get a long. Unbelievable.

I do appreciate everyone's input on this thread.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I guess everyone is in agreement, let a false accusation turn into big time pay days for lawyers and judges instead of the parents just getting together and be parents.
I don't recall ANYONE saying THAT!

The time for the parents to have hashed it out might have been before the cops were involved. Now! You can be accused of tampering with witnesses, making threats, or even admitting that your child did something but it wasn't bad. Who knows? And unless you record each and every contact with the other parents, you simply leave yourself and your son open to all manner of accusation.

A peaceful resolution has passed. Now, it has to go through the system first. If nothing comes of it, then maybe you can work with the other parents to keep the kids apart ... until then, I will reiterate what your attorney will almost certainly say: Stay away from the other family!

Go thru public humiliation on both sides and spend everyone's time and money on two boys who just can't get a long. Unbelievable.
Unfortunately, that's how it comes about sometimes. There's nothing you can do to unring that bell no matter how many times you click the ruby slippers together.
 

tkathlina

Junior Member
Assuming the victim got the dates correct. Typically, the kids recall a circumstance but may not recall the specific date, so you investigate to determine if the circumstances ever matched a particular date within a specified range of time.

And, yes, I have spent much of my career investigating these accusations.


Keep in mind that he wants your business, so he may be giving you the scary story. You're free to hire him if you wish, and $4,000 for a retainer doesn't seem too overpriced ... unless no charges are filed and he has to make no motions.


That may be.

Your child doesn't have to speak to the police, and neither do you. But, do not LIE to anyone! If they come to you with questions, you can decline to respond. But, if you LIE then you can be charged with a crime. And also remember that there is NO parent-child confidentiality. If junior tells you something that could be incriminating him, you cannot refuse to repeat it if asked about it on the stand. So, you may want to limit your conversations with him on the matter. While most DAs tend to avoid putting parents in that situation, they can do so.


If the DA calls and says he intends to charge your son, get a hold o fan attorney immediately.
Thank you, I will do some more attorney shopping tomorrow. I will to spend anything to defend my son from false charges, but it is just ridiculous that the boy's mother couldn't just pick up the phone and call me to investigate. This should be a simple shake hands, say sorry and move on. I got a feeling once an attorney is done with her, she will be sorry she ever let things get this far.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you, I will do some more attorney shopping tomorrow. I will to spend anything to defend my son from false charges, but it is just ridiculous that the boy's mother couldn't just pick up the phone and call me to investigate. This should be a simple shake hands, say sorry and move on. I got a feeling once an attorney is done with her, she will be sorry she ever let things get this far.

Would you feel the same if it was your 14 year old making an accusation towards the other party?

Given that there is at least some chance that the 12 year old is telling the truth, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to assume that nothing actually happened. And if something did happen, shaking hands and saying sorry won't do a darned thing for either of the boys.
 

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