Son Ticketed for shoplifting

[andsha]

What is the name of your state? Colorado
My 15 year old son was just ticketed for shoplifting (not arrested--issued a ticket) for a pair of athletic shoes valued at $179. He seems genuinely devastated and realizes how stupid this was. He is getting appropriately punished at home and will be going to court of course. My questions?
1. Should we get an attorney? What is the value of that?
2. Should we make him take an online shoplifting course---would that be of any help in the eyes of the court. We are confident that he is being punished by going through this in addition to loss of privildeges at home . So we are interested in mitigating the damage to his record. We may end up making him take the course anyway if you think it is of value (even if the court doesn't care).
3. Any other advice you can give me is appreciated.
Up until now he has been a good kid--good grades, nice personality, kind etc.
Thanks in advance.
ANDSHA

 

[Hot Topic]

A "good kid" doesn't shoplift. If he wanted athletic shoes, he could have worked out something with you and your husband, and he could have gotten a pair for less than $179.

Of course you need an attorney. You need professional advice on what to expect when you go to court, how you, your husband and your son should handle yourselves and how to deal with the aftermath. Don't try to handle this on the cheap.

Unless it's a court approved course, it may not impress the court. Shoplifting is stealing. Does you son really have to take a course to know that it's wrong?

And I wouldn't assume that everything's okay because your son seems to be sorry about what he did and has lost privileges. I'd let him know that your trust in him has been shaken, and that it will take some time - and a lot of work on his part - before he regains it.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hopefully you have removed your child from the Garden of Eden until he can responsibly earn the right to be returned.

 

[Ohiogal]

It might have been a one time streak of rebellion or it could be a red flag for more to come.
Sit down and talk to your child.See what's going on in his life.Don't pry but don't ignore either.

yet if he assaulted someone he could get it off his record? Yet an assault is not a red flag and shoplifting is? You worry me. Please quit posting.

 

[las365]

A "good kid" doesn't shoplift.

In fairness, Hot Topic, OP did say:

Up until now he has been a good kid

She doesn't seem to be making excuses for him, as some parents who post here do.

OP, you should get an attorney for your son and your son needs to work his ass off to make up for this idiotic and unacceptable choice he made and try to keep his criminal record as neutral as possible. Perhaps you could suggest to him that he read the numerous posts on this forum from people whose employment opportunities have been hindered by their criminal records.

 

[andsha]

Thanks for your help!

LAS 365 and others who posted replies: Thanks for your support last year. I wanted you to know I appreciated all of your responses and you helped us. Things are currently going well. We did get an attorney who was a great choice! She was worth every penny! She talked to him at length, made him write a letter to himself reminding him how he felt about this; asked him to write a letter to her (not sure what that contained as it was private) and an apology to the store. When he came home from the first meeting he told my husband and I he wanted to do something around the house to help offset all of the legal costs. We had a monstrously huge evergreen bush that we had been wanting to take out and he volunteered to do that. It took him over 3 weeks of daily work to hack that thing back, bag it and clean up the needles and mess but he did it without complaining. He was completely grounded for over a month; then able to WALK to friends houses in a very limited area for another month---but with strict curfew and had to check in with us every 3 hours. He was not allowed to go into any retail establishments without one of his parents for 3 months. He was not able to get his driving permit for 3 additional months after his birthday. His court date was very scarey for him (he was pale and looked like he was going to throw up). But he had a good attitude, thanked the judge and was offered a remediation program where with good behavior, community service (which he completed) and going to a court sponsored class (which he completed) he could have this removed from his record eventually. It has now been about 9 months after the court date and almost a year from the event; he has so far been doing well, staying out of any trouble and is involved in positive activities in school (debate, sports). He seems to have a good circle of friends and we are hopeful (but not naive) that this was an isolated incident of very, very poor judgement. However, we are watching him very closely. He understood that trust was broken and worked pretty hard to regain it. I wouldn't say we are 100% back to where we were with trust but we are at about 80%. I post this to say thank you to those of you who are volunteering your time to help us--it was the most stressful parental experience I have had and I needed some advice.

 

[las365]

Thanks for posting the update. I'm happy to hear that things seem to be working out well for your family.

 

[Ohiogal]

Congrats on doing YOUR job as parents and being there for your son. Glad to hear the update.