teen in trouble

[ttam]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

MY 13 year old stepson is on probation for assault, last weekend he and a couple other boys shot out some windows with a bb gun. Since he was already on probation it looks like his probation officer is going to place him in juvenile detention until he is 18. What would happen if he ran away to his grandmothers house in a different state? Would he be allowed to finish school? Would anyone be charged with aiding and abetting a fugitive? Any help or thoughts would be appreciated, time is a factor.

 

[AlanShore]

MY 13 year old stepson is on probation for assault, last weekend he and a couple other boys shot out some windows with a bb gun. Since he was already on probation it looks like his probation officer is going to place him in juvenile detention until he is 18.

Rightly so.

What would happen if he ran away to his grandmothers house in a different state?

He be a fugitive.

Would he be allowed to finish school?

No.

Would anyone be charged with aiding and abetting a fugitive?

Yes.

He must bare the burden he has placed on himself. Though he probably will be able to get out before 18. Sending him to his grandmas will get your whole family in serious legal trouble and your step son in alot more trouble then he is already in.

 

[ttam]

Thank you for your advice.

 

[xylene]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

MY 13 year old stepson is on probation for assault, last weekend he and a couple other boys shot out some windows with a bb gun. Since he was already on probation it looks like his probation officer is going to place him in juvenile detention until he is 18. What would happen if he ran away to his grandmothers house in a different state? Would he be allowed to finish school? Would anyone be charged with aiding and abetting a fugitive? Any help or thoughts would be appreciated, time is a factor.

Get your son a lawyer.

Planning for him to go on the lamb is counterproductive fantasy.

If he does go to in the system on a residential basis, you and his lawyer need to work very hard to ensure he gets all the help and education he can to 'arrest' his budding criminality.

If son avoids time... you should consider what treatment options he needs, including in-patient treament.

Is you son using drugs or alcohol? What is the history of his criminal behavior?

 

[ttam]

He has always been in trouble, his real father was a crack addict when he was conceived. He has been to therapy for years. The latest therapist has diagnosed him with ADHD and has prescribed him sulfa amphetamine. (Which we have to hide from him and watch him take, then check his mouth, because he will sell them) We have tried everything possible to help him. We have yet to find a punishment that works with him. He acts before he thinks and I am not sure that he regrets his actions afterwards. His therapist describes him as being anti social and socialpathithic. He has been to several different therapist and a court appointed psychiatrist. Nothing seems to make an impact on him.

His latest trouble began a year and a half ago, he shot a kid in the face with a 99 cent bb pistol that shoots yellow plastic pellets. Since it left a mark he was charged with aggravated assault and given a years probation. He couldn't stay out of trouble at school and failed a class so he was given another years probation. He was caught skipping school a couple weeks ago and was told that he was going to spend 4 days in a detention facility and placed on house arrest until his court date on the 27th. His probation officer allowed him to stay the night at a boys birthday slumber party this last weekend. During the night the 4 boys snuck out and shot out several cars windows. The police picked him and the other boys up today at school. One of the officers told my wife that he would probably complete his probation time out in the detention center, plus what ever he was given over the new charges which because of his record would be the maximum sentence. He ad called his grandmother and asked if he could go down to Texas to stay. She had agreed and my wife was thinking of allowing him to go to keep him out of jail.

 

[AlanShore]

Then your wife and her mom would be charged. Not to mention you are insane for thinking a grandmother could handle your out of control step son. The kid needs jail time. Clearly, strongly, needs jail time. Serious intervention. Stop trying to stop the real help he needs.

 

[Just Blue]

He has always been in trouble, his real father was a crack addict when he was conceived. He has been to therapy for years. The latest therapist has diagnosed him with ADHD and has prescribed him sulfa amphetamine. (Which we have to hide from him and watch him take, then check his mouth, because he will sell them) We have tried everything possible to help him. We have yet to find a punishment that works with him. He acts before he thinks and I am not sure that he regrets his actions afterwards. His therapist describes him as being anti social and socialpathithic. He has been to several different therapist and a court appointed psychiatrist. Nothing seems to make an impact on him.

His latest trouble began a year and a half ago, he shot a kid in the face with a 99 cent bb pistol that shoots yellow plastic pellets. Since it left a mark he was charged with aggravated assault and given a years probation. He couldn't stay out of trouble at school and failed a class so he was given another years probation. He was caught skipping school a couple weeks ago and was told that he was going to spend 4 days in a detention facility and placed on house arrest until his court date on the 27th. His probation officer allowed him to stay the night at a boys birthday slumber party this last weekend. During the night the 4 boys snuck out and shot out several cars windows. The police picked him and the other boys up today at school. One of the officers told my wife that he would probably complete his probation time out in the detention center, plus what ever he was given over the new charges which because of his record would be the maximum sentence. He ad called his grandmother and asked if he could go down to Texas to stay. She had agreed and my wife was thinking of allowing him to go to keep him out of jail.

I'm sorry...This is just insane! The fact that your SS father was on crack during conception has nothing to do with anything...except what a horrid choice your wife made for a father to her child!
This boy is a crimminal...he SHOT someone in the face...and you all are considering helping him escape from his punishment? How do you think he'll behave once he is at Granny's house? When he uses a real gun to shoot someone in the face, who do you think will be responsible? YOU!
INSANE!

 

[xylene]

he shot a kid in the face with a 99 cent bb pistol that shoots yellow plastic pellets. Since it left a mark he was charged with aggravated assault and given a years probation.

Wow, thats bad behavior but not aggravated assualt.

I mean if that was agg. assault than I am guilty, on multiple counts. I guess all the times I shot myself was a suicide attempt.

This kid is a prime example of what the lack of mental health parity has done to us.

If this kid had a genetic kidney disease, no one would be wondering where the money would come from... or blaming the parents either...

Genetic disease IS the responsibility of the parents. It your DNA, your defects.

But its society that pays.

But the consequences of a defective socity... its the parents fault... we only want to put the kid in jail for the sake of our obsolete Calvinist view of morality.

Good luck.

 

[smutlydog]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

MY 13 year old stepson is on probation for assault, last weekend he and a couple other boys shot out some windows with a bb gun. Since he was already on probation it looks like his probation officer is going to place him in juvenile detention until he is 18. What would happen if he ran away to his grandmothers house in a different state? Would he be allowed to finish school? Would anyone be charged with aiding and abetting a fugitive? Any help or thoughts would be appreciated, time is a factor.

A swift criminal justice system may help at this time but I wouldn’t worry so much about them keeping him until he is 18. It’s doubtful that would happen but anything is possible I guess.

I raised an ADHD child whose mother was on crack. A child like this shouldn’t spend his free time with friends or alone. I can remember a time where anytime I hadn’t seem my son in 30 minutes he was potentially getting in some kind of trouble. Believe or not at the age 8 he shot somebody’s window out with a BB gun. He never did get any trouble when he was with me so I finally decided to be the cool dad and allow his friends to hang out at my house. I would also take them places to do fun activities. The key is to not let him leave your sight which may not be fair but it is the harsh reality of raising a child like this. You have to be a focused parent. Also if he is interested see if there is a young marines program in your community and get him involved in sports. Just keep in mind that any time he is bored with nothing to do he will probably find a way to get in trouble. I know it’s much harder with one parent on drugs but you just have to stay focused.


My son is almost 17 now. He has never been in any legal trouble and I have had not had any complaints from the schools since he was 12. He hangs around with good kids and is drug and alcohol free.