uncontrollable 16 year old

[ccurtis]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma.
I am a single mother and my daughter will not accept discipline. She leaves when she's not supposed to. She doesn't come home for a day or two. She does what she wants when things don't go her way. I don't know what options I have. Can I take her before a judge? Can they give her some kind of probation or community service that they will MAKE her do? I have lost control and don't know what else to do. I need help.

 

[ezmarelda]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma.
I am a single mother and my daughter will not accept discipline. She leaves when she's not supposed to. She doesn't come home for a day or two. She does what she wants when things don't go her way. I don't know what options I have. Can I take her before a judge? Can they give her some kind of probation or community service that they will MAKE her do? I have lost control and don't know what else to do. I need help.

Where is her Father?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma.
I am a single mother and my daughter will not accept discipline. She leaves when she's not supposed to. She doesn't come home for a day or two. She does what she wants when things don't go her way. I don't know what options I have. Can I take her before a judge? Can they give her some kind of probation or community service that they will MAKE her do? I have lost control and don't know what else to do. I need help.

How long has this been going on? Have there been any big changes in her life...change of school...move...? Have you taken her to a therapist?

 

[ezmarelda]

I think she was/is offended by our questions bay, she seems to have left, I guess I won't post the helpful links I just found.

 

[Just Blue]

I think she was/is offended by our questions bay, she seems to have left, I guess I won't post the helpful links I just found.

I don't know what we said that was offensive...perhaps she just went to bed...or maybe the lil' darling showed up and she went to slap some sense into her...

Post the helpful links for her...she seem like a nice mom wanting to get some help for her daughter...

But I do seem to be offending a lot of posters lately...over at Expert law they think I am very rude...I wasn't nice to a guy that beat his gf's neurologically damaged son black and blue with a paddle....And all I did was give him some good suggestions to prepare for prison...you know...Like practicing bending over ...and learning to respond to "Hey bit*h"...some nice things he could do for his new girlfriend Bubba...sigh...I guess I need to work on my delivery...sigh...

 

[ezmarelda]

I like your delivery bay!

http://troubled-teenagers.org/index.php?ticgl=at+risk+teens&gclid=CJHoq96Pj4sCFQSfYAod6G87Tg
http://www.strugglingteens.us/real_life.php?gclid=CKP8jfuPj4sCFRoDhgoddUdVRw
http://www.teenhelp.us/index.php?source=google&gthtrak=at-risk+teens&gclid=CKid95KQj4sCFRldhgodayEgRA
http://www.helpmyteen.com/index.html?helpge=at+risk+youth+gag&gclid=CNrem76Qj4sCFSEtYQodqm5IRA
http://www.agyp.org/
http://www.odysseynw.com/?gclid=CJbjl-2Qj4sCFSFgYQodMglpQg

ccurtis I don't know if any of these can help but I hope so. Unfortunatly if she is acting out this way it is probably because she is hurting, from what is the Million $ question. Good luck to you and her.

 

[ccurtis]

"uncontrollable 16 year old"

(thanks for the replies and the web links) Her dad doesn't have anything to do with her and I know that's her biggest problem. He was in her life up until 13 - 14 and then he started rejecting her because of her "behavior" ( like if she messed up, like normal kids do). She has been in counseling for 2 years now. She goes twice a month. Her biggest problem is lack of respect for me and she feels as if she can walk all over me. I had her sign a behavior contract back in January and she broke the contract this past weekend by running off. I haven't seen her since Saturday. She finally called me today, but she wants to "negotiate" her consequences over the phone and I won't do it. I told her to come home and that we will talk about it face to face and that if she chooses not to, there will be more consequences. I just feel like I'm at my wits end!!! She is so ungrateful and disrespectful that sometimes I wish she would just LEAVE!!! But then I feel sorry for her and want to see her be successful, that's why I continue to try. But, there is only so much I can do.

 

[Just Blue]

(thanks for the replies and the web links) Her dad doesn't have anything to do with her and I know that's her biggest problem. He was in her life up until 13 - 14 and then he started rejecting her because of her "behavior" ( like if she messed up, like normal kids do). She has been in counseling for 2 years now. She goes twice a month. Her biggest problem is lack of respect for me and she feels as if she can walk all over me. I had her sign a behavior contract back in January and she broke the contract this past weekend by running off. I haven't seen her since Saturday. She finally called me today, but she wants to "negotiate" her consequences over the phone and I won't do it. I told her to come home and that we will talk about it face to face and that if she chooses not to, there will be more consequences. I just feel like I'm at my wits end!!! She is so ungrateful and disrespectful that sometimes I wish she would just LEAVE!!! But then I feel sorry for her and want to see her be successful, that's why I continue to try. But, there is only so much I can do.

Have you reported her as a runaway to the police? Has her counselor had a evaluation done to rule out Neurological Disorders?

I'm sorry you are going through this, have you tried to urge Dad to take a part in her life?? Or is he just useless?

When she comes back you might want to discuss with her therapist about weekly sessions...

If all else fails you may want to think about bootcamp...

 

[ccurtis]

No, I haven't reported her yet. I planned on doing so if she doesn't turn up tonight (the whole 48 hour thing). Her dad is useless....I have tried countless times. The last encounter they had, he was abusive towards her. There is currently a social worker handling the case. I have told her therapist in the past that I think she needs to be on medication because she will be fine one moment and then if things don't go her way, she goes all the way LEFT! This past week, for example, she turned a weekend punishment into 1 week, then 2, then 3, now 4! This could have all been avoided if she would have accepted her weekend punishment and gotten it over with. This is a regular response from her.

 

[Just Blue]

No, I haven't reported her yet. I planned on doing so if she doesn't turn up tonight (the whole 48 hour thing). Her dad is useless....I have tried countless times. The last encounter they had, he was abusive towards her. There is currently a social worker handling the case. I have told her therapist in the past that I think she needs to be on medication because she will be fine one moment and then if things don't go her way, she goes all the way LEFT! This past week, for example, she turned a weekend punishment into 1 week, then 2, then 3, now 4! This could have all been avoided if she would have accepted her weekend punishment and gotten it over with. This is a regular response from her.

Ask you daughters PCP if they could refer you to a Child Psychologist/ Behaviorist. In my opinion (for what it's worth!)...I think you should have an Nuro psychological exam done.

 

[ccurtis]

ok, thank you very much.

 

[Just Blue]

ok, thank you very much.

You're very welcome...please post back and let us know how things work out.

Good luck to you and your daughter...

 

[zelm2426]

Help

If your daughter is abusive and/or violent then she should get help from a psychiatrist and/or a therapist. If she not violent towards you or herself in anyway, then she is simply acting like a normal teen. Make sure she is not participating in any drug use also. Drug use from her may be sparking this whole issue.

 

[Just Blue]

If your daughter is abusive and/or violent then she should get help from a psychiatrist and/or a therapist. If she not violent towards you or herself in anyway, then she is simply acting like a normal teen. Make sure she is not participating in any drug use also. Drug use from her may be sparking this whole issue.

Hey Zelm...How are things at school?? Get expelled yet? Do you really think you are qualified to advise this mother ?

 

[smutlydog]

No, I haven't reported her yet. I planned on doing so if she doesn't turn up tonight (the whole 48 hour thing). Her dad is useless....I have tried countless times. The last encounter they had, he was abusive towards her. There is currently a social worker handling the case. I have told her therapist in the past that I think she needs to be on medication because she will be fine one moment and then if things don't go her way, she goes all the way LEFT! This past week, for example, she turned a weekend punishment into 1 week, then 2, then 3, now 4! This could have all been avoided if she would have accepted her weekend punishment and gotten it over with. This is a regular response from her.

Make sure you pick your wars with her carefully. For example, you wouldn't want to punish her for having a foul mouth or simply because she arrives home 15 minutes late. Being at constant war with a child like this serves no purpose and if your not careful you may end loosing your daughter. She may even end up dead. The street life can be cruel to a young vulnerable girl.
The manner in which you raise a child like this is different from raising a normal child. On the other hand if she has a conduct disorder a swift criminal justice system might be her best option. It really depends on allot of things. If she hasn't been in any trouble with the law as of yet then maybe her situation isn't as dire as you think it is.


Does she get along with her friends? Who does she get along with?