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What actions can I take against a minor who continues to make false claims?

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bushkanaka86

Junior Member
My sister-in-law is 16 and to date, as far as I am aware, she has made false claims of sexual assault against 6 different men, including me, twice. Ever since she was young she has been obsessed with sex and fantasizes about men doing things to her. She knows her stories are made up (she isn't delusional enough to believe them) and she knows her parents will just ignore them. But she is smart and knows her teachers are mandatory reporters so she goes to school and tells these tales to her teacher which gets it reported to the police.

Twice she has had rape kits done which revealed nothing, and every other time, the details of her story have been so ridiculous that it can't be true. The best thing for me has been that she loves to make her stories more dramatic that I haven't gotten in trouble and she always puts her stories in the past, "3 months ago..." so nobody can prove anything either way.

This most recent time, I guess the police decided to try and take it serious, just in case, but that meant that a detective came to my house to interview me and my wife. Following that we didn't hear anything for 5 weeks which caused my wife extreme anxiety. She thought every car that slowed past our house was going to come in and arrest me and she even started taking anxiety medicine for this. Finally, the detective contacted us again and asked me to take a Polygraph Examination. This further increased both our anxiety and we finally hired a lawyer, even though we couldn't afford it. He said to not take the Polygraph and based on her history of false claims, her crazy story, and the lack of evidence, this case should now close very soon.

Sorry for the long story, but now my question. She has done this to at least 6 different men and because she is a minor, she gets away with it. I would like there to be some kind of punishment for her so she will stop. What can I do, if anything?

I would try to sue her to pay our lawyer fees and as compensation for my wife's extreme anxiety but I don't know that I will get much from her. The problem is that we don't want to hurt the parents (my wife's parents). My sister-in-law has a college fund, but I don't know if I can sue for that money, and it may end up hurting her parents anyway if they pay for college. I wish I could sue for her future income....

If getting money from her isn't an option, I thought about getting a restraining order to show her we are serious. The last time, we just blew off her accusations and continued as normal. Not this time. We already plan to completely avoid her and not let her have a relationship with my children, which will be a pretty big punishment. But to show her how serious, I thought about getting a retraining order against her that legally said she wasn't allowed to be near me or my children.

Any advice?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in New Hampshire, the girl lives in Maine.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
My sister-in-law is 16 and to date, as far as I am aware, she has made false claims of sexual assault against 6 different men, including me, twice. Ever since she was young she has been obsessed with sex and fantasizes about men doing things to her. She knows her stories are made up (she isn't delusional enough to believe them) and she knows her parents will just ignore them. But she is smart and knows her teachers are mandatory reporters so she goes to school and tells these tales to her teacher which gets it reported to the police.

Twice she has had rape kits done which revealed nothing, and every other time, the details of her story have been so ridiculous that it can't be true. The best thing for me has been that she loves to make her stories more dramatic that I haven't gotten in trouble and she always puts her stories in the past, "3 months ago..." so nobody can prove anything either way.

This most recent time, I guess the police decided to try and take it serious, just in case, but that meant that a detective came to my house to interview me and my wife. Following that we didn't hear anything for 5 weeks which caused my wife extreme anxiety. She thought every car that slowed past our house was going to come in and arrest me and she even started taking anxiety medicine for this. Finally, the detective contacted us again and asked me to take a Polygraph Examination. This further increased both our anxiety and we finally hired a lawyer, even though we couldn't afford it. He said to not take the Polygraph and based on her history of false claims, her crazy story, and the lack of evidence, this case should now close very soon.

Sorry for the long story, but now my question. She has done this to at least 6 different men and because she is a minor, she gets away with it. I would like there to be some kind of punishment for her so she will stop. What can I do, if anything?

I would try to sue her to pay our lawyer fees and as compensation for my wife's extreme anxiety but I don't know that I will get much from her. The problem is that we don't want to hurt the parents (my wife's parents). My sister-in-law has a college fund, but I don't know if I can sue for that money, and it may end up hurting her parents anyway if they pay for college. I wish I could sue for her future income....

If getting money from her isn't an option, I thought about getting a restraining order to show her we are serious. The last time, we just blew off her accusations and continued as normal. Not this time. We already plan to completely avoid her and not let her have a relationship with my children, which will be a pretty big punishment. But to show her how serious, I thought about getting a retraining order against her that legally said she wasn't allowed to be near me or my children.

Any advice?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in New Hampshire, the girl lives in Maine.
Any kind of punishment you try to inflict on her while she is a minor will just rebound on her parents. What I would be insisting upon in your shoes is that the girl get counseling regarding her obsession with sex.
 

AdoptADog

Member
Any kind of punishment you try to inflict on her while she is a minor will just rebound on her parents. What I would be insisting upon in your shoes is that the girl get counseling regarding her obsession with sex.
In addition...never, EVER, be alone with her.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Any kind of punishment you try to inflict on her while she is a minor will just rebound on her parents. What I would be insisting upon in your shoes is that the girl get counseling regarding her obsession with sex.
Agree 100%
 

quincy

Senior Member
... She has done this to at least 6 different men and because she is a minor, she gets away with it. I would like there to be some kind of punishment for her so she will stop. What can I do, if anything?

... I thought about getting a restraining order to show her we are serious. Any advice? ...

... I live in New Hampshire, the girl lives in Maine.
I agree with LdiJ that counseling for the girl should be encouraged. Why her parents have not insisted on counseling already is a bit of a puzzle. Perhaps your wife can speak to her parents about the need to take her sister's false accusations seriously.

I agree with AdoptADog that any contact you have with your wife's sister and your wife's family needs to be limited and supervised.

I do not think that a restraining order against someone living in Maine will be approved if you reside in New Hampshire, nor is a restraining order likely to be effective in stopping false accusations. Apparently the lack of contact is not stopping her from inventing her tales of sexual assault.

Reports to the police are covered by a qualified privilege which makes them immune from defamation claims absent a showing of actual malice. It is hard to prove a false report to the police of sexual assault was made with actual malice (malicious intent) when the false accuser is young and mentally/emotionally unstable.

Good luck.
 

eerelations

Senior Member
In addition...never, EVER, be alone with her.
I'll go a step further - never, EVER be anywhere in the same building/neighbourhood as her, no matter how many people are around. While it's usually good to try and maintain civil relationships with in-laws, this is one situation where any relationship (good/bad/indifferent, supervised/unsupervised, whatever) with your SIL is just not on. Let your wife have a relationship with her and encourage her parents to obtain counselling for your SIL, but you need to stay out of it completely.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Cut off all contact. Period.

Your sister-in-law is a danger to your family.

She does not care about you wife, her own sister. She certainly doesn't give a flip about you. And who knows, maybe the next step is to act out her fantasies on your children. She should not be permitted in your household.

Block her on all forms of social media.

If moving becomes an option, then move.

And if that hurts the relationship between your wife's parents and the grandbabies - remember, they are harboring evil. I am suggesting this not as punishment, but protection. Maybe if someone stood up to your wife's parents and said that, it'd wake them up.
 

quincy

Senior Member
... If moving becomes an option, then move ...
"Moving" seems a bit extreme. bushkanaka86 already lives in a state different from his sister-in-law. Avoiding the 16-year-old should not be a problem.

Here, just because, is a link to New Hampshire information on petitioning for a civil restraining order:

http://www.courts.state.nh.us/superior/servicecenters/checklists/checklistfiles/Restrainingpetition.pdf

Most restraining orders will not be issued against out-of-state individuals however, so bushkanaka86 could very well find this is not a viable option.

I am afraid I disagree with your assessment, Red, that the 16-year-old girl is "evil." She is sick, perhaps, and she definitely needs professional attention, but I would not characterize her as evil.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
"Moving" seems a bit extreme. bushkanaka86 already lives in a state different from his sister-in-law. Avoiding the 16-year-old should not be a problem.
Look at a map. Maine and NH are next to each other. Clearly living just across the border hasn't worked for him so far. So far, it is not far enough away for the police to immediately dismiss the allegations as improbable, requiring the ability to tesseract.

The only option is to protect his family as best he can.

And frankly, if his wife wants a relationship with her sister, she needs counseling too.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Look at a map. Maine and NH are next to each other. Clearly living just across the border hasn't worked for him so far. So far, it is not far enough away for the police to immediately dismiss the allegations as improbable, requiring the ability to tesseract.

The only option is to protect his family as best he can.

And frankly, if his wife wants a relationship with her sister, she needs counseling too.
Thanks for the geography lesson but I actually know where the states are located. ;)

I think moving is an extreme and unnecessary action.

When there are accusations of sexual assault, the police will investigate. Rarely would these types of claims be dismissed immediately. If enough false complaints are made by this girl, however, the police will probably confront the parents (and I would be surprised if they haven't done so already).

I do not think the girl is evil but she is obviously troubled ... as is the family, if they have not recognized this and acted to get the girl necessary help.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
A restraining order is not going to protect against false accusations, as mentioned. Further, as one who investigated these sorts of crimes for a few years, if this tale is true and this girl is making accusations about a number of men, her obsession with sex has come from somewhere. SOMETHING is going wrong in this girl's life, and she has very likely been exposed to, or a victim OF, some form of unwanted sexual activity. She is very likely a victim of some kind. It may be that she is the victim of a dysfunctional family, or, that she has been molested by someone close to her. Counseling will e vital for her. Maybe, then something will come of that.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
I spend significant time in both New Hampshire and Maine. There's quite a lot of both states.

If the OP is in Conway and the girl is in Fryeburg, that's a problem. If the OP is in Keene and the girl is in Bangor, not so much.
 

HighwayMan

Super Secret Senior Member
I spend significant time in both New Hampshire and Maine. There's quite a lot of both states.

I actually was thinking along the same lines as Red - assuming worst case. My experience with both states is somewhat limited - Kittery and Hampton Falls popped into my head... ;)
 

quincy

Senior Member
I spend significant time in both New Hampshire and Maine. There's quite a lot of both states.

If the OP is in Conway and the girl is in Fryeburg, that's a problem. If the OP is in Keene and the girl is in Bangor, not so much.
Moving with one's family from one's home because a 16-year-old living in a different state is making false allegations seems an extreme and unnecessary measure. The 16-year-old will be an adult soon and could move to their new location after all. Do they simply pack up and move again?

bushkanaka86 is not the only victim of this girl's stories either. Does every male who might become a target of her lies move away?

The girl is the problem and she needs help. I agree with LdiJ and CdwJava that counseling for the girl is what is necessary. No one, girl or victims, is likely to find a good solution in legal actions.
 

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