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What is the age of majority in NY?

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needabreak1

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
I have read both 18 and 21, so I am looking to clarify. This is what I found online from the NYS Uniform Court System:

In New York State, a child is entitled to be supported by his or her parents until the age of 21. However, if the child is under 21 years of age, and is married, or self-supporting, or in the military, the child is considered to be "emancipated" and the parents' support obligation ends.

A child may also be considered "emancipated" if he or she is between 17 and 21, leaves the parents' home and refuses to obey the parents' reasonable commands.

Confusion for me is that my 17 year old , somewhat uncontrollable, Bipolar daughter has spent the past three weeks at her Bipolar dad's apt. I have physical custody, but we have joint custody otherwise. Is she still emancipated if she leaves my home to stay with her other parent? Do I have to let her back in if she chooses to come back (I'm not a bad mom- she refuses to take meds and is sometimes dangerous because of it). Am I financially responsible for her expenses when her dad throws her out?
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No, she is not emancipated. However, if she is living with Dad - and does so long enough? Expect Dad to file for a change of custody and child support.
 
Once she becomes 18, you can see if involuntarily committing her under Kendra's Law is appropriate. Patients with Bipolar Disorder tend to do quite well (much better than those who aren't treated under the law) long-term. And often do elevate to taking their medications.

Otherwise, I don't think you can have her emancipated. While I understand your legal quote as to imply that if she refuses your reasonable demands (obviously, having her take her medications is reasonable), I don't think she's capable of "mentally and physically" caring for herself.

If memory serves me correctly, under NY law, nor can you terminate your parental rights in her case until she's 21.

Many families deal with this disorder and are angry at the "catch 22" inherent in the situation.

Have you tried having her committed under §9.27 of the MHL?

(MHL §9.27) The following eleven parties may be applicants for a person's involuntary admission: 1) someone residing with the person; 2) person's father, mother, spouse, sibling, child or nearest relative; 3) committee of person; 4) officer of any public or well recognized charitable agency or home in whose institution the person resides; 5) DCS or Director of Social Services; 6) Director of hospital in which the person is hospitalized; 7) Director of a facility providing care to alcoholics, substance abusers or substance dependent persons; 8) Director of Division for Youth; 9) Social Services official or authorized agency with custody or guardianship of children over 16 years of age; 10) someone having custody of a child pursuant to Family Court Act §756 or §1055; or, 11) qualified psychiatrist who is either supervising the treatment of or treating person for a mental illness in a facility licensed or operated by OMH.

The description/admission criteria:

(The) person's judgment is too impaired for him/her to understand the need for such care and treatment; as a result of his/her mental illness, the person poses a substantial threat of harm to self or others

Abuse suffered by you qualifies as "substantial threat of harm to others."
 
No, she is not emancipated. However, if she is living with Dad - and does so long enough? Expect Dad to file for a change of custody and child support.
Mom can have his parental rights terminated, if she so wishes, on the basis of his mental illness (if applicable ~ the OP hasn't given us adequate information). At the very least, if she's willing to pursue it, she can prevent his obtaining custody of said child by declaring him mentally ill and "is presently, and will continue for the foreseeable future to be, unable to provide proper and adequate care for the children."

That said, I know of no court who wouldn't be loathe to award custody to a mentally ill parent (depending on how severe his BD is and whether or not he reliably takes his medications) over a parent who is mentally healthy.

If Dad takes his medications and is subscribing to therapy, this is all moot.

OP, what is Dad's diagnosis, if you don't mind my asking? Is he BDI, as well? BDII? Where, on the BD spectrum does he lie?
 

needabreak1

Junior Member
Don't know Dad's specific BP classification

He tried to commit suicide a few summers ago; thats when he was hospitalized and told me about the Bipolar. Now he denies it, but daughter's behaviors are identical to his, so I would think he's Bipolar 1. If he ever sued for custody I would insist on an evaluation, but he doesn't have the means to house her regardless. He doesn't take meds, and is an alcoholic as well. I guess I need to know what can be classified as "substantial threat of harm to self or others" so I know if I can have her committed. Her abuse to us is constant aggressive body language and horrible, constant screaming inappropriate language. She doesn't strike us, but doesn't listen to any rules, doesn't respect our property, stopped going to school, is in a physically abusive relationship, etc. Can PINS do anything? She is on diverson, but has been for years, and they haven't done anything. They say call police when she gets intimidating, but that doesn't go anywhere. Dad is wayyyyyyy behind in child support. I have never asked for a raise in it, and it is ridiculously low for our 2 kids. He is the type to try to get as much as he can from me, though.
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
He tried to commit suicide a few summers ago; thats when he was hospitalized and told me about the Bipolar. Now he denies it, but daughter's behaviors are identical to his, so I would think he's Bipolar 1. If he ever sued for custody I would insist on an evaluation, but he doesn't have the means to house her regardless. He doesn't take meds, and is an alcoholic as well. I guess I need to know what can be classified as "substantial threat of harm to self or others" so I know if I can have her committed. Her abuse to us is constant aggressive body language and horrible, constant screaming inappropriate language. She doesn't strike us, but doesn't listen to any rules, doesn't respect our property, stopped going to school, is in a physically abusive relationship, etc. Can PINS do anything? She is on diverson, but has been for years, and they haven't done anything. They say call police when she gets intimidating, but that doesn't go anywhere. Dad is wayyyyyyy behind in child support. I have never asked for a raise in it, and it is ridiculously low for our 2 kids. He is the type to try to get as much as he can from me, though.
Regarding the bolded:
You're not going to get far with that one: you stated in post #1 that Daughter is living in Dad's apartment -- for the past 3 weeks. Your post title states that you need a break. You are allowing her to live at Dad's.

So how DO you plan to *insist* upon an evaluation of Dad's fitness? Please.

This is not a "plan." This is a train wreck. :(
 

Banned_Princess

Senior Member
If he /she is 17 and uncontrollable and refuses rules and curfews, then you can let them run the streets as they wish.

If they live at home, and are good parent loving children, then support is manditory to 21, to whatever parent is taking care of them.
 
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needabreak1

Junior Member
Yes, a train wreck, but I'm not sure what to do to help her

I know dad's is not a good place for her, and I have called all the various agencies/counselors/etc dealing with her numerous times to let them know what she's up to. The other side of the equation is that the rest of my family suffers daily when she is here, so I am hoping that her PINS guy can get her into an in-house program in lieu of dad's. Both my daughter and her dad have lied to try to get us in trouble with CPS, etc, in the past, and although the truth came out each time, the stress on the rest of the family is intense. She knows how to manipulate the system at this point. I have reported everything, but she puts on a good show each time she gets in trouble. I have spent so much energy and several years trying to get her on track, but she's not ready to accept change or help. At this point I think its best to help the rest of the family to recover from her constant behaviorial issues and bad influence. Can PINS force her to go to an in-house program and take meds?
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
If he /she is 17 and uncontrollable and refuses rules and curfews, then you can let them run the streets as they wish.
If they live at home, and are good parent loving children, then support is manditory to 21, to whatever parent is taking care of them.
:eek::eek::eek:

Sweet fancy Moses, BP! Where do you get THAT horrible idea??
 
Can PINS force her to go to an in-house program and take meds?
If she meets the criteria, yes. You can. The police can. The psychiatrist involved in her care can. It's involuntary committal. That is the only option that will "force" her (reliably) to take her medication.

Unfortunately, I know of no other option that will "force" her to take her medication. It's a "free country" and no one, unless they are deemed a danger to themselves or others, can enforce such an action.

I don't suppose that as a participant in PINS, she's been court-ordered to take her medications, has she?
 

needabreak1

Junior Member
No, we've not made it past PINS diversion

If she meets the criteria, yes. You can. The police can. The psychiatrist involved in her care can. It's involuntary committal. That is the only option that will "force" her (reliably) to take her medication.

Unfortunately, I know of no other option that will "force" her to take her medication. It's a "free country" and no one, unless they are deemed a danger to themselves or others, can enforce such an action.

I don't suppose that as a participant in PINS, she's been court-ordered to take her medications, has she?
Her PINS guy never brought her to petition because the school placed her in a day school program (living at home but receiving counseling at the school). The structure of the program worked for a bit while she was there. PINS had to get involved again once she went back to district school and didn't attend regularly, and started once again to get increasingly aggressive at home. She's not been in front of the judge. Her PINS guy only sees what she lets him see, and she's always sweet and apologetic in front of him. Then she punishes us..... He keeps threatening her he will do something, but never actually does anything but threaten.
 

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