When the school won't protect my son

[MamaLou9]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

I'm at my wit's end here and really need some help focusing on what to do.

For 2.5 years (since we moved here) I have been trying to get my son's school to stop the bullying in their school. This is an "elementary" school that is K-8 and my son is now in the 7th grade.

I thought I was making progress when the superintendent initiated a "stop bullying now" program but after what happened this past Tuesday, I really need some advice.

My son was in class Tuesday morning, listening to his teacher, drumming his fingers on his desk, when a classmates (who later told people he did this because the drumming "annoyed" him) picked up a mechanical pencil and stabbed my son in the hand.

The principal is refusing to punish the child with anything more than a lunch detention. This principal has a long history of being lenient towards the students and the majority of the parents complain about it. There is a joke about the principal amongst the parents that she is a Stepford Wife, that no matter what is happening, ("Mrs. Doe, one of the students just severed an arm on the playground.") she will plant a large smile on her face and say, "Uh-huh, I'll take care of it for you!"

When my son first got to this school he was an A, B student and is now in danger of failing the 7th grade. Getting him to school is a struggle because he hates it there so much. We've had him in and out of counseling with him getting ready to start up again due to his empathizing with his attacker, not wanting me to go the Sheriff about this because he didn't want the kid to "get in too much trouble." I did go to the Sheriff and he explained to me that this was a common response when someone has been so beaten up, both emotionally and physically, for so long they start to believe they somehow deserve it.

I am not sending my son to school today because his attacker is still there. He went yesterday but that was due to my belief something would be done to his attacker beyond a slap on the wrist. This was not done and now I have no idea how to proceed. The Superintendent is on vacation until late next week and the "acting" superintendent tells me she doesn't believe this rises to the level of a crime. (The Sheriff felt differently, thank goodness, and I DID file charges against the brat that stabbed my son) so I know I'll get no joy from her.

Please, lend me your advice as to how to proceed here and still make sure my son doesn't fail the 7th grade due to the school's negligence.

 

[moburkes]

File a police report.

 

[MamaLou9]

I already did that

I already filed a report with the Sheriff. In my thread I had stated I talked to the Sheriff. If it wasn't clear from that, sorry. The Sheriff told me a citation number had been issued and I don't want to assume that means the child will be "arrested" but he's still in school with my son. Yesterday, he was trying to "make nice" with my son, not really seeming to realize he's done anything wrong.

 

[moburkes]

No, its nto that it wasn't clear. Your thread was just so long that I didn't read it all.

 

[lealea1005]

Is it possible to have your son transferred to another school within your school district?
OR...have you attempted to have a meeting with your son, the "attacker" and his/her parents to try to resolve the issue?

 

[AL HR]

In my school district (Alabama), if there is violence you can transfer the child to another in district school. You may look into that. Also, is private school an option? At least until he would age out of the school he is in now?

 

[MamaLou9]

I need to know if...

I need to know if "legally" there is anything I can do here beyond what I've already done. Please assume I have exhausted all other remedies as this has been going on for two and a half years.

To be frank, I'm done talking to anyone within the school district and "no" there is no place else to send my son given he doesn't want to change given all his friends are at his present school and there is only 5 weeks left in the school year.

Also, talking to the parents is useless as they are the reason their child is who he is. Four years ago he burned his parents house down because he "wants to see fire trucks."

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Your son was disturbing the class by drumming his fingers on his desk. Yes, the other student acted inappropriately (criminally, perhaps), but your son needs a noise free method of staying alert. I would recommend a soft, prickly ball (forgot the name) one can often get at the $.25 machine outside stores. I have to admit the sound of a pen clicking, drumming, and gum popping are extremely annoying.

 

[Just Blue]

I need to know if "legally" there is anything I can do here beyond what I've already done. Please assume I have exhausted all other remedies as this has been going on for two and a half years.

To be frank, I'm done talking to anyone within the school district and "no" there is no place else to send my son given he doesn't want to change given all his friends are at his present school and there is only 5 weeks left in the school year.

Also, talking to the parents is useless as they are the reason their child is who he is. Four years ago he burned his parents house down because he "wants to see fire trucks."

File a small claims suit against the little SOB and his parents for the stabbing and associated costs+ pain and suffering. Go to the Media and discuss the lackadaisical attitude of the Superintendent of Schools and the Principal....

 

[lealea1005]

Your son was disturbing the class by drumming his fingers on his desk. Yes, the other student acted inappropriately (criminally, perhaps), but your son needs a noise free method of staying alert. I would recommend a soft, prickly ball (forgot the name) one can often get at the $.25 machine outside stores. I have to admit the sound of a pen clicking, drumming, and gum popping are extremely annoying.

Do you mean a Koosh ball?

 

[MamaLou9]

Thanks for the support baystategirl

I'm going to try to find out just who his parents are and where they live so I can do something along those lines. I am taking the stance now that if the school won't teach these children right from wrong then someone has to.

 

[MamaLou9]

WOW, Ozark_sophist

Okay, I guess I have to say never mind then... Ozark, to blame the victim in all this is in and of itself criminal (at least morally). The only person that was bothered by the drumming was his attacker.

I hope your children are never stabbed, or worse, in school Ozark. I suppose you would just stand there and say, "Well, what did you do to deserve it?" Typical response of an abuser, that the abse is the fault of the victim.

 

[lealea1005]

I'm going to try to find out just who his parents are and where they live so I can do something along those lines. I am taking the stance now that if the school won't teach these children right from wrong then someone has to.

You don't know who they are or where they live, yet you know the kid burned their house down?

 

[MamaLou9]

Thanks lealea for focusing on the wrong thing...

I don't know where they live because THEY MOVED WHEN THEIR SON BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

Also, the kid who did the stabbing is the terror of the school.

Can we please stay focused on the issue, that being what I can do to protect my son? Does no one really care about that or is this just about pointing out to me how stupid I am for not knowing the names and address of the parents of 500+ students?

 

[Just Blue]

I don't know where they live because THEY MOVED WHEN THEIR SON BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN.

Also, the kid who did the stabbing is the terror of the school.

Can we please stay focused on the issue, that being what I can do to protect my son? Does no one really care about that or is this just about pointing out to me how stupid I am for not knowing the names and address of the parents of 500+ students?

Her question was valid. It seems odd that you wouldn't know the parents name of your son's tormentor.