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Thread: Evicting an adult child

  1. #1
    mmcguigan is offline Junior Member
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    Evicting an adult child

    California
    I have a twenty one year old child that does/will not pay rent. I want her to move out of my house and she won't. What are my options?
    Thank you.
  2. #2
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Serve her with a 60 day notice to vacate, then at the end of the 60 days, file an unlawful detainer
  3. #3
    mmcguigan is offline Junior Member
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    Evicting a relative

    I have a twenty one year old child that I want to evict. What is the proper way to serve the eviction notice.
  4. #4
    MIRAKALES is offline Senior Member
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    Wink

    Serve the Notice to Vacate in accordance to California State law. Hire an eviction attorney specialist if not familiar with the process. One reason why you are not able to get your daughter to pay rent is because you keep referring to her as child. Children are dependents and should not pay for their expenses.
    You actually have a “twenty-one year old ADULT,” not a child!
  5. #5
    FarmerJ is online now Senior Member
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    One way is to type up a letter , Date , her name(Missy Dontwantopayrent) , her address, This is your notice according to CA state law that I expect you to move out of my home by __________ , Sign it and include your and your address and go to the post office and send it with a method that she has to sign for it. BTW for the return mail from the post office to make sure she doesnt either take the signature card when it comes to you OR tear up the original letter you write , the post office will want to return it to you , I suggest you have a trusted friend let you use his /her mailing address for the post office as return address or rent a po box somewhere and let all your mail go to it for a while. Then take your copy of the letter and your postal reciept and put them into a bank box or a locked document safe that she cannot get into so she cannot destroy or take your proof. IF she refuses to leave at the end of the notice then go for it , see the clerk of the court in your county and file for a court hearing. IF the court agrees that you gave proper notice they will give her x amount of time to get out and if she still wont then sherriffs dept can come and help her learn where the door is.
  6. #6
    Jubybean is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarmerJ View Post
    One way is to type up a letter , Date , her name(Missy Dontwantopayrent) , her address, This is your notice according to CA state law that I expect you to move out of my home by __________ , Sign it and include your and your address and go to the post office and send it with a method that she has to sign for it. BTW for the return mail from the post office to make sure she doesnt either take the signature card when it comes to you OR tear up the original letter you write , the post office will want to return it to you , I suggest you have a trusted friend let you use his /her mailing address for the post office as return address or rent a po box somewhere and let all your mail go to it for a while. Then take your copy of the letter and your postal reciept and put them into a bank box or a locked document safe that she cannot get into so she cannot destroy or take your proof. IF she refuses to leave at the end of the notice then go for it , see the clerk of the court in your county and file for a court hearing. IF the court agrees that you gave proper notice they will give her x amount of time to get out and if she still wont then sherriffs dept can come and help her learn where the door is.
    I don't know the whole story but I was 37 when I finally moved out of my mom and dad's house. About 20 years ago,I started to pay them rent monthly. It started $7/week and 10/week for gas. Of course, gas was cheap back then. I eventually started paying them $200/month to help with some of the bills. So I don't totally agree with what is being said. You are talking to someone who has been there with loving parents that dealt with me through thick and thin. I am willing to talk about this situation if needed and give ideas. Of course, the daughter has to be willing to help out financially. Does she have a job? If so, have her start paying weekly rent. Then make it monthly. If she can't get the idea of helping out that way, then the rest is up to you. When you are a parent, that doesn't give you the right to kick out your child that you have raised when they are 21. There just has to be something else going on for wanting her to be out of the house. Please explain more of what it going on so people here can help you out better.
  7. #7
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MIRAKALES View Post
    Serve the Notice to Vacate in accordance to California State law. Hire an eviction attorney specialist if not familiar with the process. One reason why you are not able to get your daughter to pay rent is because you keep referring to her as child. Children are dependents and should not pay for their expenses.
    You actually have a “twenty-one year old ADULT,” not a child!
    Oh come on.

    Main Entry: child
    Pronunciation: \ˈchī(-ə)ld\
    Function: noun
    Inflected Form(s): plural chil·dren \ˈchil-drən, -dərn\
    Usage: often attributive
    Etymology: Middle English, from Old English cild; akin to Gothic kilthei womb, and perhaps to Sanskrit jaṭhara belly
    Date: before 12th century
    1 a: an unborn or recently born person bdialect : a female infant
    2 a: a young person especially between infancy and youth b: a childlike or childish person c: a person not yet of age
    3usually childe \ˈchī(-ə)ld\ archaic : a youth of noble birth
    4 a: a son or daughter of human parents b: descendant5: one strongly influenced by another or by a place or state of affairs
    6: product , result <barbed wire…is truly a child of the plains — W. P. Webb>
    My child is my child no matter how old they are.

    I guess according to your definition Mirkales, once your offspring turn 18 or 21, they are no longer your children. Interesting. Whose children are they after that?

    It makes no sense to speak of your child as an adult. I can see it now; My adult is now in college.
  8. #8
    Hot Topic is offline Senior Member
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    Jubybean, a parent doesn't need a reason to want an adult son or daughter to be out on their own supporting themselves. As the OP said, the daughter won't pay rent. She's sponging off her mother, and her mother shouldn't allow her to continue to do so.

    The mother has received rock solid information here. It's utter nonsense to suggest that some real or imagined problem needs to be resolved so that the daughter can continue to parasite off her mother.
  9. #9
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jubybean View Post
    I don't know the whole story but I was 37 when I finally moved out of my mom and dad's house. About 20 years ago,I started to pay them rent monthly. It started $7/week and 10/week for gas. Of course, gas was cheap back then. I eventually started paying them $200/month to help with some of the bills. So I don't totally agree with what is being said. You are talking to someone who has been there with loving parents that dealt with me through thick and thin. I am willing to talk about this situation if needed and give ideas. Of course, the daughter has to be willing to help out financially. Does she have a job? If so, have her start paying weekly rent. Then make it monthly. If she can't get the idea of helping out that way, then the rest is up to you. When you are a parent, that doesn't give you the right to kick out your child that you have raised when they are 21. There just has to be something else going on for wanting her to be out of the house. Please explain more of what it going on so people here can help you out better.
    I'm sorry, but the only reason why you should be 30 anything and still living with your parents is that you are so physically disabled, you are unable to care for yourself. Just because your parents ENABLED you, do not promote 30 somethings to act like little babies under their parents' roof.
  10. #10
    Jubybean is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    I'm sorry, but the only reason why you should be 30 anything and still living with your parents is that you are so physically disabled, you are unable to care for yourself. Just because your parents ENABLED you, do not promote 30 somethings to act like little babies under their parents' roof.
    I'm not physically disabled in any way. You don't know the total situation. My parents loved me,still do, and allowed me to stay in their house as long as I helped them out in one way or another,financially or whatever. I ate like a bird,which you can't tell now, and they didn't mind me staying there as long as I did. Of course, if I could have moved out on my own, I would have. I am now happily married at 47 for the past almost 7 years and wouldn't trade my parents for anything. My dad died 12 years ago and I know that he didn't regret what he did while he was alive. It took me a while to grow up in the responsible way but I finally made it. So anyone who has never had a child or who has never lived with their parents like I have, has no right to give their opinion like they are. Sure, she isn't right for sponging off mom but that is up to the mom. She is the one who is allowing it for one reason or another. Do we know the daughter's situation? Could the mom not be telling us everything? I am not bashing the mom but just giving facts. The situation is much deeper than we realize. She has to make her own choice. I have two older brothers and have seen how they raise their kids. Parents make mistakes,no one is perfect. Just think about it. Maybe the daughter should get on here and give her side of things. Remember, there are always two sides to every picture. Be it good or bad.
  11. #11
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Here is the only side of the story that matters. It's mom's house, and mom wants her out. Period. Past that, there is no other side of the story to tell. That YOU got to stay at home until you were half way to retirement is fine, however, I'd be too embarrassed to admit it.
    Rwedunyet likes this.
  12. #12
    Jubybean is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Here is the only side of the story that matters. It's mom's house, and mom wants her out. Period. Past that, there is no other side of the story to tell. That YOU got to stay at home until you were half way to retirement is fine, however, I'd be too embarrassed to admit it.
    It must be a macho thing. You must be jealous that I had two good loving parents who loved me enough to let me stay there. I didn't have the finances but that's none of your business. I just hope and pray that this mom does the right thing and won't regret what she did. Have a good night.
  13. #13
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jubybean View Post
    It must be a macho thing. You must be jealous that I had two good loving parents who loved me enough to let me stay there. I didn't have the finances but that's none of your business. I just hope and pray that this mom does the right thing and won't regret what she did. Have a good night.
    Jealous? Not at all. I was lucky enough that I had two awesome parents that taught their children how to be self sufficient, give them great educations so that they could get fantastic jobs and support themselves! That we all had the financial resources at an early age to go out and show our parents that all that they taught us we were able to put to work and that they didn't spend 18 years with their thumbs up their behinds, staring at their 30 year old child, trying to figure out where they went wrong because this child has "failure to launch" syndrome.

    Just the opposite, YOU sound jealous - sounds like the only way you were able to leave the nest was to hop into someone else's and let THAT person take care of you.
  14. #14
    Jubybean is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    Jealous? Not at all. I was lucky enough that I had two awesome parents that taught their children how to be self sufficient, give them great educations so that they could get fantastic jobs and support themselves! That we all had the financial resources at an early age to go out and show our parents that all that they taught us we were able to put to work and that they didn't spend 18 years with their thumbs up their behinds, staring at their 30 year old child, trying to figure out where they went wrong because this child has "failure to launch" syndrome.

    Just the opposite, YOU sound jealous - sounds like the only way you were able to leave the nest was to hop into someone else's and let THAT person take care of you.
    Until you know the whole picture**************.you know what to do. To each his own. Each parent has the right to raise their kids the way that they want to. If this lady wants to have her 21 year old daughter removed from her house for this reason or that, then that is up to her. We shouldn't be forcing our own opinions on them,just what the law says. Maybe what your parents did for you worked in their way and the same for my parents. Do you know what epilepsy is and how it can affect a person? Do you understand what bi-polar is? There are many circumstances for people to do the things that they want to. I am all done talking about this. There is no more to discuss about this.

    You are a very blunt person,aren't you?
  15. #15
    Suziecita is offline Junior Member
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    Question Life can sometimes come full circle

    Hello All,

    I normally try to bite my tongue when I think about giving advice (my opinion) about someone else's personal issues, buy this topic hits home with me. Is there a right/wrong answer to this issue? Not at all. I believe our different beliefs come from our culture and generation. I moved out when of parents house when I was 18. But I always knew I could go back to my parents house at any time. In raising me and my siblings, my parents #1 objective was to be the provider for their kids so we would not have to go through the struggles and challenges they did. They never closed the door. My two siblings moved in and out several times from the time when I left. Over the years I did pretty well for myself (financially). Then life came full circle. My parents needed my help. I helped them without question for over 5 years. Each year a little less until things got better. Recently, I was unexpectedly laid off and due to events that were out of my control, I found myself, at age 39, asking my parents if I could move back in. Full circle once again. But just as much as I needed a roof over my head, they needed someone to help with them with their daily needs.

    My point is that when we are brought into this world, it is our parents who take care of us. And when and our time is almost up in this world, we look to our children to take care of us.

    To anyone who wants their kids out of their home, (for any reason), I ask you, how would you feel when you are old and turn to your children for help, and they tell you, You are a burden on me, I want you out of my home?
    mmmagique likes this.

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