IAAL-help please-long, but please read...

[daddenied]

What is the name of your state? CA

Hello IAAL.

Met4 referred me to you to ask help in a sticky matter I just experienced. He told me to refer you to my posts under child custody and visitation. From 6/25-the present I believe there are 3 separate threads I had started regarding my custody and visitation hearing on July 1st. Met4 has been very helpful, but said to possibly ask you about what to do with my attorney who abandoned me. Here is a quick summarized time line of what happened.

Mar. 2004: a year after my ex moves our children to 4 1/2 hours away from me, I am able to file for a modification.

May 2004: my ex appears by telephone and requests and files for a transfer from Riverside CO to Fresno CO and it is granted that she pay the transfer fees immediately.

July 2004: she has not paid them and has ignored every request I've made for her to do so I would be able to file the proper paperwork again in Fresno. I file an OSC re: contempt after receiving advice and help from Riverside FLF office.

Aug. 2004: I go to Fresno to find out that our case transfer is in limbo as she had not paid the full transfer amount. I pay the small balance and retain an attorney in Fresno, paying him a portion of his fee to get started immediately.

Nov. 2004: I file for modification in Fresno Co and am given 2 dates (Feb and July) Feb for all other issues besides custody and visitation and July for custody and visitation.

Dec. 2004: He gets the help of the D.A. to step in, call my ex and force her hand in enforcing our custody and visitation agreement from 12/02. We share joint legal and physical custody of our 4 children. I have my children for 7 days.

Jan. 2005: I send full balance of retainer fee to atty. I see my children twice in the month as our original order states. My attorney finds out about both the court dates and advises me that he will already be in court on the Feb. date and that he will just ask the judge to continue to the case so all matters can be heard one time in July when he can actually appear in court on my behalf. I understand and thank him for thinking of my finances.

Feb. 2005-June 2005: I am unable to see my children, because ex says I can't or that they don't want to see me. (We have no past of abuse, domestic violence or negative relationship with my children) I started seriously dating my current girlfriend last year and it was after last summers visit for 30 days here that she decided to be ugly and violate the agreement.

During this time I file a police report each visitation time she does not show, let my attorney know and keep on doing what I am told to do.

Feb. hearing: My attorney calls the following day and tells me that he continued the case and talked to my ex and told her I would pay all the arrears she felt I owed. (When I returned the children after their 7 days over the holiday with me, I was serviced with a notice re: arrears that I owed. My ex was attempting to collect CS from from a time that she and all the children lived with me-the first 4 months after our divorce was filed. I had started fully paying her the month she left and it has always been fine again until the girlfriend and when my life wasn't turning out to be horrible. By the way, she left me and I begged that we work things out for our families sake in 2002.) Anyway, after explaining to my atty that I owed her nothing, it was determined that I didn't.

From that hearing date until June 2005, I spoke to my atty very few times, conscious about the cost of his services and what money I had left in my account with him. I received 2 bills from him in May and June showing me all of these charges...most that came from him speaking, meeting or emailing my ex her complaints of my being behind in actualy amounts of CS, etc... I never hear from him until about early June when he tells me that I have very little money so he wants me to negotiate with my ex so we can avoid mediation. If she does not want to cooperate, he will prepare me for mediation, but may I need to come up with $2000 before July 1st-the hearing date or he cannot represent me. I am in a panic and tell him I would try to come up with the monies.

2 weeks before the hearing I attend a mediation orientation in Fresno and see him. he prepares me for the mediation, telling me what to wear and how to speak, etc...

1 week before the hearing, I attend mediation and 4 days before the hearing, calls me with the mediator's recommendation. It is a shock to the both of us, and I tell him I desperately need him to represent me as he was the one supposedly working on my case. He states I must give him $1500 before the hearing 4 days later. The day before I tell him that I was able to pull $500 together and would give it to him that next morning at court and that I was able to borrow another $1500 from my mother but would not have it until the following Wed. (5 days later). HE said no and that was that.

July 1st I went into the court room without an attorney. The judge did not ask me where he was, but listened to my case and made a fair judgement I thought...for the time being on the custody and visitation issues. When she did not mention the other issues I had filed for, I asked and was told that it was never continued. My ex then chimed in and said that my atty took it off calendar and told her he would talk to her there then talk me into paying all the arrears I owed...which turned out that I owed nothing at all. ??? I was confused and ticked at him at that point and time. The judge kindly advised me to refile for the other issues.

I have not spoken to my atty since the day before the hearing which is 2 weeks ago, tomorrow. I want to file a complaint against him, but worry that he will have his friends in the court system rule against me in retaliation. Do I have a case? I am thinking of waiting until this entire things is over with, hopefully before the holidays and then I plan on filing a complaint. Is that wise? Please help.

Thanks!
Worried about complaining against atty

[rmet4nzkx]

IAAL,
He also needs guidance on how to file his motions. I have given him what help I can mostly re the court ordered vs non consentual counseling and refered him to the FLF office for assistance in preparing his filings which he will do by FAX once they are done. He also doesn't have a copy of the court's order for counseling and he believes the court is going to write the order and he is getting the run around since counseling was supposed to start last Sat. Even so, mom has failed to present the children for the court ordered counseling after informing the court that they had conflicts with sports activities, so the judge amended the order, but it turns out there were no sports activities afterall and she still defies the court. He now resides in LA county.

To Daddenied,
BTW, I am female, lol

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

IAAL,

To Daddenied,
BTW, I am female, lol

Sorry Miss Met4. I will note that in the future. My girlfriend and I were laughing at how presumptuous I was that you were a man. lol. Thank you again so much!

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by daddenied

Sorry Miss Met4. I will note that in the future. My girlfriend and I were laughing at how presumptuous I was that you were a man. lol. Thank you again so much!

I'm sure she got an especially good laugh!

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

IAAL,
He also needs guidance on how to file his motions. I have given him what help I can mostly re the court ordered vs non consentual counseling and refered him to the FLF office for assistance in preparing his filings which he will do by FAX once they are done. He also doesn't have a copy of the court's order for counseling and he believes the court is going to write the order and he is getting the run around since counseling was supposed to start last Sat. Even so, mom has failed to present the children for the court ordered counseling after informing the court that they had conflicts with sports activities, so the judge amended the order, but it turns out there were no sports activities afterall and she still defies the court. He now resides in LA county.

Hi Met4.

I still haven't gotten a hold of the woman who I have been directly trying to contact for the minute order, but I just saw on line that it finally is in the clerk's office. It is all abbreviated but this is what it says with names taken out:

"Minute Order from Dept.: 3 Temporary Judge: __________ Clerk: _________ Reporter: ________ Nature of Hearing:Fcs R&R 6/28/05 adopted as mod 3.03 fa to have therapy sessions w/chldrn @ CYS July 8th, 22nd, Aug 15th & every Sat after that (12 sessions) 7.01 4 mos instead of 6 mos 4.01 chng section to 3.03. Refer fcs for med in 4 mnths. Joint phys & leg c/c. Prim to pet REsp vist super. dlf"

I will attempt again tomorrow all day until I get someone to get a copy of the order asap. I see that the judge put CYS who my ex suggested saying she had already checked them out...you know the long story about that...you'll also notice that the 1st 2 days July 8th and July 22nd were ordered only after my ex lied about the boys' availability those weekends. My first session set up with the Sat. therapist was done for July 9th for that reason that CYS was not available and our children were available. I told my ex that the next session is Fri. July 22nd and she states she is not showing up with the kids because she is insisting on CYS to do the visits...they've already told me no to Sat. services. I fear I will drive up again next Fri. to see the therapist alone. Please help me to know exactly what motions to file. I plan on doing this Friday:

1. File declaration with the courts re: this whole counseling agency mess...I will include Health net authorization, I will also include CYS's confirmation that they do not offer this service on Sat, that I was ordered to do with my children...I will also include a copy of the scheduled days and times of the appointments that I will have my ex served through the mail on Fri. July 15th...I will also include paperwork I filled out and signed with the Sat. therapist. Am I missing anything in this declaration?

2. I will also be faxing over my substitution of attorney. He never filed a withdrawal. What should I do?

3. When I hear from the counselor who saw my son without my consent in 2003-2004 I plan on filing a motion re: contempt-

a) counseling sessions without my consent
b) not showing up to counseling sessions-not cooperating
c) lying in court about availability. I have proof from basketball mother on team committee as well as a copy of a calendar my ex gave me that I did not have access to while in court showing the days she said the boys had bball there was nothing at all scheduled.

Again, sorry about this being so long, but I just want to be sure I am filing the right paperwork.

Thanks!

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by daddenied

Hi Met4.

I still haven't gotten a hold of the woman who I have been directly trying to contact for the minute order, but I just saw on line that it finally is in the clerk's office. It is all abbreviated but this is what it says with names taken out:

"Minute Order from Dept.: 3 Temporary Judge: __________ Clerk: _________ Reporter: ________ Nature of Hearing:Fcs R&R 6/28/05 adopted as mod 3.03 fa to have therapy sessions w/chldrn @ CYS July 8th, 22nd, Aug 15th & every Sat after that (12 sessions) 7.01 4 mos instead of 6 mos 4.01 chng section to 3.03. Refer fcs for med in 4 mnths. Joint phys & leg c/c. Prim to pet REsp vist super. dlf"

Well now you have something tangible, which is enforceable to some degree although it is not without its problems. This order doesn't reflect the amendment's made in the hearing re the scheduling and availability, although it is clear that counseling and your everyother weekend visitation was to continue, supervised. It also continued both your joint legal and physical custody. It doesn't say who is to write the proposed order. Is "dif" the name of the court's clerk? Contact the clerk for that judge today if you can, inform them that there were amendments made during the hearing which meant that the counseling sessions would have to be scheduled for at least some Saturdays beging 7-9-5 because of scheduling conflicts with children's sports schedule as claimed by the CP and that the agreed to provider CYS has a 4 month waiting list and no Sat counseling dates, thus they could not fulfil the court's order, thus you are asking the court substitute the Health Net Approved therapist (fill in the provider and schedule) in place of CYS and that CP previously utilized Health Net approved therapist for one of the children's therapy even though you were not informed. See if the clerk for that department, will allow you to fax the text of the amended order to them for entry/approval or if they will take the motion telephonically, then make the appropriate service. If not see if the FLF office can assist you is making the appropriate motions on Friday. Also cite CALIFORNIA CODES
CODE OF CIVIL PROCEDURE SECTION 469-475 as appropriate.

(469.) Section Four Hundred and Sixty-nine. No variance between
the allegation in a pleading and the proof is to be deemed material,
unless it has actually misled the adverse party to his prejudice in
maintaining his action or defense upon the merits. Whenever it
appears that a party has been so misled, the Court may order the
pleading to be amended, upon such terms as may be just.

470. Where the variance is not material, as provided in Section 469
the court may direct the fact to be found according to the evidence,
or may order an immediate amendment, without costs.

471. Where, however, the allegation of the claim or defense to
which the proof is directed, is unproved, not in some particular or
particulars only, but in its general scope and meaning, it is not to
be deemed a case of variance, within the meaning of Sections 469 and
470, but a failure of proof.

471.5. (a) If the complaint is amended, a copy of the amendments
shall be filed, or the court may, in its discretion, require the
complaint as amended to be filed, and a copy of the amendments or
amended complaint must be served upon the defendants affected
thereby. The defendant shall answer the amendments, or the complaint
as amended, within 30 days after service thereof, or such other time
as the court may direct, and judgment by default may be entered upon
failure to answer, as in other cases. For the purposes of this
subdivision, "complaint" includes a cross-complaint, and "defendant"
includes a person against whom a cross-complaint is filed.
(b) If the answer is amended, the adverse party has 10 days after
service thereof, or such other time as the court may direct, in which
to demur to the amended answer.

472. Any pleading may be amended once by the party of course, and
without costs, at any time before the answer or demurrer is filed, or
after demurrer and before the trial of the issue of law thereon, by
filing the same as amended and serving a copy on the adverse party,
and the time in which the adverse party must respond thereto shall be
computed from the date of notice of the amendment.

473. (a) (1) The court may, in furtherance of justice, and on any
terms as may be proper, allow a party to amend any pleading or
proceeding by adding or striking out the name of any party, or by
correcting a mistake in the name of a party, or a mistake in any
other respect; and may, upon like terms, enlarge the time for answer
or demurrer. The court may likewise, in its discretion, after notice
to the adverse party, allow, upon any terms as may be just, an
amendment to any pleading or proceeding in other particulars; and may
upon like terms allow an answer to be made after the time limited by
this code.
(2) When it appears to the satisfaction of the court that the
amendment renders it necessary, the court may postpone the trial, and
may, when the postponement will by the amendment be rendered
necessary, require, as a condition to the amendment, the payment to
the adverse party of any costs as may be just.
(b) The court may, upon any terms as may be just, relieve a party
or his or her legal representative from a judgment, dismissal, order,
or other proceeding taken against him or her through his or her
mistake, inadvertence, surprise, or excusable neglect. Application
for this relief shall be accompanied by a copy of the answer or other
pleading proposed to be filed therein, otherwise the application
shall not be granted, and shall be made within a reasonable time, in
no case exceeding six months, after the judgment, dismissal, order,
or proceeding was taken. However, in the case of a judgment,
dismissal, order, or other proceeding determining the ownership or
right to possession of real or personal property, without extending
the six-month period, when a notice in writing is personally served
within the State of California both upon the party against whom the
judgment, dismissal, order, or other proceeding has been taken, and
upon his or her attorney of record, if any, notifying that party and
his or her attorney of record, if any, that the order, judgment,
dismissal, or other proceeding was taken against him or her and that
any rights the party has to apply for relief under the provisions of
Section 473 of the Code of Civil Procedure shall expire 90 days after
service of the notice, then the application shall be made within 90
days after service of the notice upon the defaulting party or his or
her attorney of record, if any, whichever service shall be later. No
affidavit or declaration of merits shall be required of the moving
party. Notwithstanding any other requirements of this section, the
court shall, whenever an application for relief is made no more than
six months after entry of judgment, is in proper form, and is
accompanied by an attorney's sworn affidavit attesting to his or her
mistake, inadvertence, surprise, or neglect, vacate any (1) resulting
default entered by the clerk against his or her client, and which
will result in entry of a default judgment, or (2) resulting default
judgment or dismissal entered against his or her client, unless the
court finds that the default or dismissal was not in fact caused by
the attorney's mistake, inadvertence, surprise, or neglect. The
court shall, whenever relief is granted based on an attorney's
affidavit of fault, direct the attorney to pay reasonable
compensatory legal fees and costs to opposing counsel or parties.
However, this section shall not lengthen the time within which an
action shall be brought to trial pursuant to Section 583.310.
(c) (1) Whenever the court grants relief from a default, default
judgment, or dismissal based on any of the provisions of this
section, the court may do any of the following:
(A) Impose a penalty of no greater than one thousand dollars
($1,000) upon an offending attorney or party.
(B) Direct that an offending attorney pay an amount no greater
than one thousand dollars ($1,000) to the State Bar Client Security
Fund.
(C) Grant other relief as is appropriate.
(2) However, where the court grants relief from a default or
default judgment pursuant to this section based upon the affidavit of
the defaulting party's attorney attesting to the attorney's mistake,
inadvertence, surprise, or neglect, the relief shall not be made
conditional upon the attorney's payment of compensatory legal fees or
costs or monetary penalties imposed by the court or upon compliance
with other sanctions ordered by the court.
(d) The court may, upon motion of the injured party, or its own
motion, correct clerical mistakes in its judgment or orders as
entered, so as to conform to the judgment or order directed, and may,
on motion of either party after notice to the other party, set aside
any void judgment or order.
cont......

[rmet4nzkx]

cont......
473.1. The court may, upon such terms as may be just, relieve a
party from a judgment, order, or other proceeding taken against him
or her, including dismissal of an action pursuant to Section 581 or
Chapter 1.5 (commencing with Section 583.110) of Title 8, where a
court of this state has assumed jurisdiction, pursuant to Section
6180 or 6190 of the Business and Professions Code, over the law
practice of the attorney for the party and the judgment, order or
other proceeding was taken against the party after the application
for the court to assume jurisdiction over the practice was filed.
Application for this relief shall be made within a reasonable period
of time, in no case exceeding six months, after the court takes
jurisdiction over the practice. However, in the case of a judgment,
order, or other proceeding determining the ownership or right to
possession of real or personal property, without extending the
six-month period, when a notice in writing is personally served
within the state both upon the party against whom the judgment,
order, or other proceeding has been taken, and upon the attorney
appointed pursuant to Section 6180.5 of the Business and Professions
Code to act under the court's direction, notifying the party and the
appointed attorney that the order, judgment, or other proceeding was
taken against him or her and that any rights the party has to apply
for relief under the provisions of the section shall expire 90 days
after service of notice, then application for relief must be made
within 90 days after service of the notice upon the defaulting party
or the attorney appointed to act under the court's direction pursuant
to Section 6180.5 of the Business and Professions Code, whichever
service is later. No affidavit or declaration of merits shall be
required of the moving party.

475. The court must, in every stage of an action, disregard any
error, improper ruling, instruction, or defect, in the pleadings or
proceedings which, in the opinion of said court, does not affect the
substantial rights of the parties. No judgment, decision, or decree
shall be reversed or affected by reason of any error, ruling,
instruction, or defect, unless it shall appear from the record that
such error, ruling, instruction, or defect was prejudicial, and also
that by reason of such error, ruling, instruction, or defect, the
said party complaining or appealing sustained and suffered
substantial injury, and that a different result would have been
probable if such error, ruling, instruction, or defect had not
occurred or existed. There shall be no presumption that error is
prejudicial, or that injury was done if error is shown.



Here is the problem, since this order as currently written, specifically lists CYS instead of other language, such as, licensed therapist, means that CP is only required to present the children to CYS at the ordered time, until the order is amended.

Originally Posted by daddenied

Hi Met4.
I will attempt again tomorrow all day until I get someone to get a copy of the order asap. I see that the judge put CYS who my ex suggested saying she had already checked them out...you know the long story about that...you'll also notice that the 1st 2 days July 8th and July 22nd were ordered only after my ex lied about the boys' availability those weekends. My first session set up with the Sat. therapist was done for July 9th for that reason that CYS was not available and our children were available. I told my ex that the next session is Fri. July 22nd and she states she is not showing up with the kids because she is insisting on CYS to do the visits...they've already told me no to Sat. services. I fear I will drive up again next Fri. to see the therapist alone. Please help me to know exactly what motions to file. I plan on doing this Friday:

This will be covered in part in the above citation and should help you procedurely, this is not my area of expertise but it should help some.

Originally Posted by daddenied

1. File declaration with the courts re: this whole counseling agency mess...I will include Health net authorization, I will also include CYS's confirmation that they do not offer this service on Sat, that I was ordered to do with my children...I will also include a copy of the scheduled days and times of the appointments that I will have my ex served through the mail on Fri. July 15th...I will also include paperwork I filled out and signed with the Sat. therapist. Am I missing anything in this declaration?

2. I will also be faxing over my substitution of attorney. He never filed a withdrawal. What should I do?

3. When I hear from the counselor who saw my son without my consent in 2003-2004 I plan on filing a motion re: contempt-

a) counseling sessions without my consent
b) not showing up to counseling sessions-not cooperating
c) lying in court about availability. I have proof from basketball mother on team committee as well as a copy of a calendar my ex gave me that I did not have access to while in court showing the days she said the boys had bball there was nothing at all scheduled.

Again, sorry about this being so long, but I just want to be sure I am filing the right paperwork.

Thanks!

1. You have your evidence to attach to your filings for the amended order also note CCCP 473 insofar as relief ($)
2. File the substitution of attorney and take up the other matters with the state bar association for the complaint and the local for the fee dispute, they can also help you recover your papers and any unused retainer. When you get the papaers back, check to see what negotiations and or agreements he reached with your ex, if they were as represented ro you.
3. Since the LCSW is not responding, contact Health Net and see if they can assist you their success may relate whether or not the LCSW is on their provider panel. Some of your other issues can be handled with the amendmend order.

Originally Posted by daddenied

Again, sorry about this being so long, but I just want to be sure I am filing the right paperwork. Thanks!

You are welcome, the FLF office should be able to help you some.

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

cont......
Here is the problem, since this order as currently written, specifically lists CYS instead of other language, such as, licensed therapist, means that CP is only required to present the children to CYS at the ordered time, until the order is amended.
This will be covered in part in the above citation and should help you procedurely, this is not my area of expertise but it should help some.

I just got off of the phone with the FLF office in Fresno who told me to call the 4th floor, because the clerk from the dept where my case was heard (a temporary dept?) cannot be reached during the day. ??? Does this mean that I cannot schedule another appointment with the Sat. therapist until I get all this cleared? Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I was also told to Call LA FLF office and make sure they are able to advise me since not all offices are as friendly and helpful as Fresno's. Wish me luck.

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by daddenied

I just got off of the phone with the FLF office in Fresno who told me to call the 4th floor, because the clerk from the dept where my case was heard (a temporary dept?) cannot be reached during the day. ??? Does this mean that I cannot schedule another appointment with the Sat. therapist until I get all this cleared? Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I was also told to Call LA FLF office and make sure they are able to advise me since not all offices are as friendly and helpful as Fresno's. Wish me luck.

Call the number on the 4th flr @ Fresno and see what they say about amending the order since it cannot be effectly enforced as written. Schedule appointments as needed, you have 22 approved and only 12 required and document all your attempts to in good faith fulfil your court ordered obligation. When the children are in the LA area this weekend(?) be sure to be supportive of your children whether or not CP allows any contact, as your order still shows, "Joint phys & leg c/c. Prim to pet REsp vist super" so work in good faith within the bounds of the order apparently CP is to petition re the supervised visits, so you should still be able to visit with your children. Document, document, document!

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

CP is to petition re the supervised visits,

Sorry Met4, I feel ignorant...what does this mean?

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by daddenied

Sorry Met4, I feel ignorant...what does this mean?

You have to figure out what the minute order says. "Joint phys & leg c/c. Prim to pet REsp vist super" possibly means, Joint physical & legal custody continues. Primary (CP) to petition RE (about? respondent?) visition supervised) In other words the issue of supervised visits is not yet covered in this order, remember the reccommodations of the mediator were not followed and mediation is rescheduled, she has to petition about it. Again, this minute order may not have been drafted at the end of the session with all the amendents, but it is all you have to go by at this time.

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

You have to figure out what the minute order says. "Joint phys & leg c/c. Prim to pet REsp vist super" possibly means, Joint physical & legal custody continues. Primary (CP) to petition RE (about? respondent?) visition supervised) In other words the issue of supervised visits is not yet covered in this order, remember the reccommodations of the mediator were not followed and mediation is rescheduled, she has to petition about it. Again, this minute order may not have been drafted at the end of the session with all the amendents, but it is all you have to go by at this time.

Okay, I wasn't able to get much help from LA FLF office, but will be in Fresno this fRiday at about 11am to file all paperwork necessary with help from their FLF office. Their office closes at 3pm so I want to be their early enough to get all of it done. My next session scheduled with my children is the same day, but at night. The rest of the sessions were ordered on Saturdays. I don't expect my ex to bring the boys, as she stated she would not, but I will see the therapist anyway...with everything that's gone on, I think it wouldn't hurt me. I haven't heard from IAAL yet, but hope he or she is able to help out with some info or advice soon. Have a good weekend.

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by daddenied

Okay, I wasn't able to get much help from LA FLF office, but will be in Fresno this fRiday at about 11am to file all paperwork necessary with help from their FLF office. Their office closes at 3pm so I want to be their early enough to get all of it done. My next session scheduled with my children is the same day, but at night. The rest of the sessions were ordered on Saturdays. I don't expect my ex to bring the boys, as she stated she would not, but I will see the therapist anyway...with everything that's gone on, I think it wouldn't hurt me. I haven't heard from IAAL yet, but hope he or she is able to help out with some info or advice soon. Have a good weekend.

Well perhaps on next Friday when you are in Fresno you can resolve the issues of the order, otherwise until then you can still use the existing order, since the judge did not place the reccommendations of the mediator into effect and rescheduled mediation in the future. Your current order, includes visitation, so if she fails again to present the children for visitaiton or the courts ordered therapy, document and make your reports as before. Remember she doesn't have a court order that says different at this point.

She is the one asking for the counseling. Perhaps you can get her to bring the children to CYS in time to transport them to the appointment. Does your son know about that yet, that you all have an appointment for family counseling next Friday? You have to be careful how you approach the subject of his mother being in contempt, for all you know, he may have been told that your absence has been your doing or court ordered.

While CP may have gone to great lengths to bias your children, you have to be careful not to do the same while at the same time be proactive. Also even if your children have sports on your weekends, you could still make sure they get to and from their activities or reschedule to a weekend without a sports event, yes a long drive but a point that has to be made and take a stand that you are willing to do what is in the children's best interest.

Good Luck with the game this evening and tomorrow.

[daddenied]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

Does your son know about that yet, that you all have an appointment for family counseling next Friday? You have to be careful how you approach the subject of his mother being in contempt, for all you know, he may have been told that your absence has been your doing or court ordered.

While CP may have gone to great lengths to bias your children, you have to be careful not to do the same while at the same time be proactive. Also even if your children have sports on your weekends, you could still make sure they get to and from their activities or reschedule to a weekend without a sports event, yes a long drive but a point that has to be made and take a stand that you are willing to do what is in the children's best interest.

Good Luck with the game this evening and tomorrow.

1. I don't know what my children know about the appointments, but I've emailed their mother (which is what the judge told me to to...inform her of where and when appt is and her only responsibility is to get them there). We were also told not to speak to the children about our issues in court unless we are all talking together about it (them, me and my ex). I'm not as bold as my ex to go against the courts, but I don't put it past her to be talking about it with them on a daily basis.

2. I know...I'm almost sure my ex has told them my absence has been because I don't want to see them or court ordered, etc...nothing surprises me any more.

3. I have never spoken ill of their mother to them...NEVER! Sometimes I feel like a foolish man, always teaching them to respect her and love her, etc... but then I think..."why? I want them to respect and love her...I want them to respect and love me..." so I get out of my funk and stop thinking so negatively, but I am very conscious about NEVER saying anything negative about her to my children. It hurts me tremendously that I am not afforded the same respect by her, but like my girlfriend tells me all the time..."all you can do is what you can do...she is going to do what she wants to do...Do what you know is right, pay honest child support and support them no matter what..." Don't get me wrong, she also has her bad days and says she feels like giving up, but quickly changes her mind. There have been months that we have not eaten as well as we'd like to or months that bills have gone 1 or 2 months behind because of money that was needed for extra things for my children. Anyway...why I started on that tangent? I don't know. Sorry.

4. All the Saturdays, scheduled from Aug. 13th and on, the kids have no scheduled sports activities, so the sessions are all scheduled on Saturday morning at 11am. I've received their event and activity calendars for the entire Fall semester (from legitimate people like coaches and team mother ) and I agree...I always try to work around their schedule...it's just pretty disappointing to drive all the way up and watch their games and have their mother go right to them and get them out and away from me. But...I'll do what I have to do.

Thank you again!

Oh, my mom and dad actually showed up at my son's game tonight too. They live an hour away from here. And, no this son is not the son that was in counseling. It was his older brother.

[daddenied]

Hi Miss Met4 and everyone else,

Do you know if there is any other way I can get a hold of IAAL? If not, would anyone be willing to pass on my questions about my attorney abandoning me? I haven't heard from the attorney and have asked that he send me my files, but no response. Also, I filled out the substitution of attorney paperwork, but because I was a walk in FLF client they could not fill any paperwork out with me, so did not get help on that. Do I need to sign it, and have my attorney sign it, THEN file it? It looks like that. Please help.

Thanks!