Thank you for your comments. I am not sure where to go with this. One thing is for sure. My husband and I believe his mother is making decions based on the paralegal's advise. Some of these decisions would be different had she received the advise from an attorney. My mother-in-law beleives this paralegal is looking out for her best interest because it is her favorite daughter's best friend. Her favorite daughter has her believing that this paralegal can do no wrong. In fact I have been accused of lying to her when I present her with the truth.
My Mother in law is in her 70's and very healthy although is becomming more and more forgetful.
My Father-in-law was just made legally incapacited with the help and advice of the paralegal... (This may be legitimate)
This paralegal is helping her and her daughter make:
Decisions such as how her rental properties should be set up.
Decisions on holding up a sale of a property even though she desperately needs to liquidate at least one assest to pay taxes and maintain rental properties.. (
Of course the need to liquidate is according to the paralegal who is also advising her on ALL her finances.)
Decisions on how her trust fund should be set up - joint tenancy so the children of my husband will not recieve an inheritance if my husband dies - but the only other grandchildren would inherit it all.... (The only other grandchidren just happen to be the best friend of this very same paralegal - and is also the executor of the will.)
According this Paralegal a trust is almost always set up like this. We checked with our business attorney and he says this is not true. In fact quite the opposite is true.
From my husband and my own perception ... this looks so much like a scam between his sister and her friend (the paralegal). We feel at a loss to stop the sister because the Mother has always favored this daughter. The sister controls her mother and does not consult with her brother on anything... Of course her Mom can do this as she has free will. There is one other sister but has no children so doesn't really care much about what is happening as long as she is named in the trust fund nothing else seems to matter to her.
While we feel that we cannot stop the sister, we feel there has to be a way to
STOP this paralegal from ill advising my mother-in-law...
Please advise which would be the best course. I do not want to see my mother-in-law get into legal trouble for paying this woman cash, paying her way to Hawaii... paying living expenses for the two month period she is there "helping to get the finances in order" per Mother-in-law.
1) We go to an attorney... And do what ... prove what?
2) Turn her into some paralegal tattletale site... who what where and prove what? (the only thing we can prove is that she sat down at the table with the family and told us that trust funds are usually set up in the she helped the Mom set up the trust fund.)
3) She is collecting disability - but what can we prove? We can't prove cash given... we can't prove that Mom and the sister paid her way to Hawaii so she could go over the finances and make more earning that she will not be disclosing to the state. It can be proven she didn't pay her own way there. but that is about it. It can be proven that she has been conferring with the Mother-in-law's attorney acting as a go between for a sale of property. She has brought papers to the attorney to sign ... etc. I called the attorney's office and asked if the paralegal was employed by the attorney or ever had been employed by the attorney... the answer was "NO". So the only thing that could be proven is that she did indeed have contact with the attorney.
4) Not a dang thing we can do about it - even if it appears not quite kosher????
5) It is legal to do what she is doing - so we should just beleive that she is looking out for the best interest of my mother-in-law?
The mind set of Mother-in-law and sister-in-law is very protective of the paralegal. It is to the point that my husband does not want to talk to his mother again. Because his Dad is still alive and has some very lucent days, he would like to spend time with Dad.
There is more to it.. but it has more to do with purposefully trying to liquidate the only property that has any major sentimental value to my husband (and was promised to my husband by his father) before trying to liquidate any of the other assests. Form his stand point the favorite sister is being very vindictive to him. She did not tell him they were trying to do this... only found out from a relative to whom the sale of the property offered.
From my stand point - I find this whole thing appalling... But am at the point where I want nothing to do with this family and unfortunately my husband is caught between my feelings and his own feelings of how can his Mom and sisters treat him in such a manner. Feelings which are currently on a MAJOR roller coaster.
I would appreciate any advise we can get... and if there is nothing we can do - I would disagree... We can bring our own children up fairly and equally. I have three favorite sons and one favorite daughter.