Question about a subpoena to testify

[Rwedunyet]

Please excuse the line of ******. I'm not sure how they ended up in the post. Sorry!

 

[tranquility]

I am sure that the DA wants to talk to me about both the "myriad" as well as the Habitual DUI.

As for as the other charges, I don't know the whole list**************.but they include the DUI, driving on a revoked license, improperly registered vehicle, evading, assualt on a female, assault on a police officer, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

My own culpability is not in question. I am a witness to many of the previously listed charges, as well as the victim in the assault on a female charges. As far as the knowledge that I possess, much of it will be eyewitness testimony, as well as background information on my brother.

I'm not comfortable giving much information about what I know, but I will tell you the sequence of events. My brother was drunk and angry at me for "taking his kid", and hit me, as well as attacking me sexually in order to "teach me a lesson" (this occurred at my mother's home). I knee'd him in the groin and ran. He also ran, got on his illegal scooter (too many cc's or something like that), and wrecked it when he struck another vehicle. He was not injured, fled the police and returned to my home. It was there that the police caught up with him, and when they attempted to arrest him, he punched one of the policemen in the stomach.


To be honest, I am working hard to not be irritated at your comment " And since you haven�t seen fit to explain the other counts and what knowledge you may possess regarding same and your possible culpability". I do understand that you are not aware of the whole situation, and when I swallow back my smart retort and think for a minute, I'm not positive that you meant that as snarky as it sounded, just as I dont mean the next comment as snarky as it sounds. The reason that I didnt see fit to explain what knowledge I possess is that I was sexually assaulted by my brother. Not a pleasant thing to share with anyone. I suppose that I need to get over it, as I am sure that I will have to disclose it all to everyone in the courtroom next month.

All that said, do you still feel that I need to have my own lawyer present? and WHY would I want to have my brother's lawyer present? (honest questions, not sarcasm)

Because a lie is a crime.

 

[Rwedunyet]

I dont understand what lie you are talking about? Did I miss something?

 

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

All that said, do you still feel that I need to have my own lawyer present? and WHY would I want to have my brother's lawyer present? (honest questions, not sarcasm)

You do not need either lawyer present as if you're smart, you won't be meeting with him. You are obligated to testify truthfully at trial. You are under no obligation to give him the time of day otherwise.

 

[Rwedunyet]

It wasnt so bad, actually.

It's a done deal! AND I survived!

The Judge was very nice, but my brother's lawyer was BRUTAL. The Judge was OH so kind**************.when someone objected, he would speak to them and then tell me "you may answer" or "do not answer" thus completely preventing me from any confusion. I was so very grateful. He even had the bailiff give me a tissue at one point. I think that underneath that intimidating robe is a real human, lol.

My brother's lawyer tried very hard to confuse me with some VERY rapid fire questions, but the Judge told him to stop trying to confuse the witness, and forbade him from interrupting my answer when I was asked to provide more than a "yes/no" answer.

The hardest part was when some photos of my injuries from the attack were shown and I was asked to provide a detailed account of how those injuries came to be. I think it may have helped if I would have seen those photos BEFORE I was on the witness stand.

In the end, he was convicted of Attempted Rape, Assault on a Police officer, fleeing the scene of an accident, the drug charges ( possession of paraphernalia), and the DUI. Brother did NOT help himself at all as he left the court room screaming "**** you" at the Judge.

Brother dear is going to jail for awhile. I hate to sound cold, but I am so very happy that he is. I dont know if my brother is insane or if the drugs have ruined his mind, or if he just a bad bad man, either way, I am so relieved.

I'll be moving forward with the termination of parental rights and adoption of my nephew. Nephew is continuing to improve and is doing wonderful in therapy. He has started some play therapy as well now, which he LOVES. It's so wonderful to hear him giggle again.

I am also in therapy now. The assault and stress of the past year have taken their toll. I've had a few nasty nightmares, and am pretty jumpy at night, but hopefully the therapy and not having to worry about brother for awhile will settle my tired nerves.

Justalayman and Ohiogal**************..thank you so much for your advice on this thread. I took your (plural) advice to heart, and was careful to answer ONLY what was asked (the DA did a wonderful job of furthering questions so that we could "fill in the blanks"). I distinctly remember "hearing"...."Answer the question that was asked, NOT the question you want them to ask". I cant thank you enough.

 

[justalayman]

glad to hear you things went well for you. Thanks for the update.

 

[Rwedunyet]

new question

I've been asked to appear at sentencing and provide a statement.

Victim Assistance called me this morning to let me know that I was to report to the sentencing hearing to provide a statement. I asked what sort of statement I was supposed to provide and was told to write down a statement telling the court what I thought should happen to my brother and be prepared to read it to the Judge. The lady then told me she had an appointment and must go. We were on the phone for just a couple minutes. She also told me that she could not tell me what to say (I didnt ask her too, but I did say that I didnt know/understand what was appropriate or not in this circumstance)

Now, obviously, I CANT go in there and tell the Judge what I WANT to say**************...."Judge, I am tired of living in fear, tired of being worried about what he is going to do next to both me and my 4 year old nephew. Judge, what I really want is for you to make my brother go far far away and never come back, so we never have to see him again and can once again live in peace and sleep without worrying if he's going to bust into our house again. Judge, I want you to stop this man from causing more things to have to explain to his already hurting child, how will I explain what has already happened? Judge, remove him from us COMPLETELY, so that my nephew and I can heal and begin to experiment with the novel idea of normalcy. Judge, my brother is a beast, an animal with no regard to his family, a dangerous man who openly shares his intent to hurt me and his child, if the courts will not give custody back to him. Judge, the ONLY right answer is to remove him from us completely and forever."

I want to go in and scream at my brother, but it wouldn't do any good. He just doesnt care.

That's what I WANT to say, but I dont think I can because in reality, the Judge cannot work miracles, he can only do what the law allows.

The lady from Victim Assist said that I could recommend terms for sentencing. I know NOTHING about legal and appropriate sentencing for my brother's crimes, so there is no way I could be so forward as to make such a suggestion.

My questions are:
Is this something that I HAVE to do? Honestly, after what he did, I dont want to be in the same room with him. I guess it sounds petty, but at the hearing he kept staring at me with this obscene little smile**************the same little smile he had when he was trying to force himself on me. It literally nauseates me.

If I dont HAVE to go, is there a benefit to me going with a prepared statement?

What is the purpose of this statement?

And I know that you cannot tell me what to say, but what do I say? Do I recount what brother did to me? Do I whine to the Judge about my nightmares and my scars? Do I beg the Judge to be harsh with sentencing? Can I tell the Judge that what I want most of all is to have my life back so that my nephew and I can live a normal healthy life? Can I tell him that I want to stay home and play with Play-Doh and match box cars and hear this new giggle from my nephew instead of worrying about my lowlife brother becoming violent again?

One last thing. Brother was allowed a visit and my mother went to see him. She ended up cutting it very short because he was telling her how he was going to sue me, subpoena my records, etc etc even from court. He also told her that he was going to request before the courts that my custody be revoked in favor of "giving the kid to the neighbor". The courts wont allow him to continue to harrass me from his cell by pursuing foolish legal claims, will they? (My mother says she will not return for future visitation for a while, and I've asked her to not communicate with me about my brother any longer) I just need a break for a little while.

 

[Stephen1]

"I want to go in and scream at my brother, but it wouldn't do any good. He just doesn't care."
My question to you is: Would screaming at your brother do any good FOR YOU? Even if it rolled off your brother, would it provide anything to you? Perhaps a chance to vent your anger and frustration? Perhaps you would know that you finally expressed to him how you feel, whether he got it or not.

Consider the scream for yourself.

 

[Rwedunyet]

Nope. It wouldn't do a thing for me. It wouldn't "fix" my brother's problem, wouldn't make this mess go away, it would only serve to make me look foolish in the courtroom.

I expressed to him exactly how I felt when I kneed him in the groin and yet, he continues to be....him.

Honestly, the best thing for me is to walk away from him and never look back. But, I have his son, and until I successfully adopt this child, I will have to look back, even after the adoption, there will be times where I will have to look back because my nephew will need to know about his father and mother. My nephew needs to see me handle this with dignity and self control**************He needs that, esp if I am fortunate enough to have my nephew become my son.

As much as I would like to scream and yell, and beat the ever loving snot out of my brother, I have to be bigger than that. Right now, my most important job is "Aunt" not "Victim", and hopefully sometime in the near future, my most important job will be "Mom". I have to handle this like "Mom", just in case.

I think I'll skip the scream and giggle with my nephew instead. That is good for both of us.

Now, about that request to speak at sentencing**************...does anyone have any guidance?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

An honest answer would be that you ask the courts to sentence your brother to the maximum sentences for his crimes. In addition, you can pray on the courts to give you and your nephew permanent restraining orders. THAT would prevent your brother from "messaging" you through others because THAT would add to his sentences if convicted of breaking a restraining order.

Many kudos that you followed through. I'm sorry that your brother did that to you. And good answer to your mother.

 

[Rwedunyet]

An honest answer would be that you ask the courts to sentence your brother to the maximum sentences for his crimes. In addition, you can pray on the courts to give you and your nephew permanent restraining orders. THAT would prevent your brother from "messaging" you through others because THAT would add to his sentences if convicted of breaking a restraining order.

Many kudos that you followed through. I'm sorry that your brother did that to you. And good answer to your mother.

oh, my. I didn't realize that I could do that. Thank you!

 

[Rwedunyet]

done deal, again

Well, we are plodding through the never ending stages of long term incarceration. It doesn't end, does it?

I did a rather brutal thing at sentencing. I guess I should be ashamed of myself, but I am not. It's all my custody lawyer's fault anyway

She (custody lawyer) took me out to lunch to talk. Sidenote: I had some difficulties finding a lawyer that "fit" in the beginning of my custody drama. Then I found my current one, and she is a dream. Right now, we are working to keep our relationship strictly professional, but have both admitted that we will pursue friendship after this all settles down. She is a soft compassionate person that turns into a pitbull in court. She and her husband share many of the same hobbies that myself and my husband enjoy....and well, everything has "clicked". End of mushy sidenote.

ANyway, Lawyer took me to lunch to "talk" and gave me some guidance on the sentencing ordeal. I followed her brutal advice and showed up in court with a series of pictures, including pictures of my nephew when all this started and pictures of him now. I told him of the nightmares that nephew and I share, and how we've spent nights together in the recliner because neither of us could sleep. I told him how after seeing his father attack me in such a manner, nephew will go and check the doors before he goes to bed. He wants to make sure they are locked "in case Daddy comes back". I told the Judge that most nights I am up at least once to check those locks myself. And while I told the Judge these things, my brother laughed. out loud.

Brother was sentenced to 10 years. and I am thrilled. I didnt wake up to check the locks last night.

Next is Parole. I'm not sure when he will come up for Parole, however, I am supposed to be notified when it happens. I *think* that I will have the option of appearing before the parole board (?) and making a statement.

We are moving forward with a TPR (haha, hear my new legal speak!). We have grounds based on how long nephew has been in my care, that I have provided all his needs without the aid of support from his parents, and with the criminal activities of my brother. Nephew's mother has been asking to have her right's removed and is (right now anyway) ready to move forward with Hubby and I adopting. I can only hope that this will not be a long drawn out process.

After all of this, I cannot wait. cannot wait, to hear this child say "mommy" and NOT correct him! OHHHHH, the day! Possibly, by next fall I will be enrolling MY child in school.

Thanks again for all the help!

 

[justalayman]

this is way off the legal topic but there is a treatment for PTSD. I suspect that it is or will be an issue somewhere along the line. I can't say it works, can't say it doesn't but especially I do not know if it works with children. Anyway, if you or the child experience PTSD issues that you cannot get over, check it out.

EMDR- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

strangely simple. Don't know if the results were coincidental or it really worked but something happened to make things better.

 

[Rwedunyet]

http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html

Above is a link with info on what Justalayman was referring to.

I'll have to research it a little, I guess, as it seems a little odd to me. Thanks for the information, justalayman!

 

[Rwedunyet]

"fast track" to adoption

Hello everyone!

I dont know if anyone is still following this thread or not, but you've all been so helpful, I wanted to give you some GOOD NEWS for a change!

The lawyer filed the motion to terminate parental rights on the parents of my nephew-soon-to-be-SON about three months ago. Mom had no issue with signing away her rights. She actually said that she was glad to be done with it and just agreed to consent to adoption. Brother pitched a fit at first, but then he FINALLY did an intelligent thing and agreed to consent to adoption!!!!!!!!

Judge said that "This family has gone been suffering through this for long enough. I'm going to put this adoption on a Fast track". We don't have to have the homestudy (but we've already done it with a private organization), and have already taken parenting classes. Judge did ask us to pass a fire inspection, which we did last week.

soooooooo,

We have an upcoming hearing to finalize next month!!!!!!!!!!! I am quite sure that I will explode before then.


Nephew is doing well. We've been dealing with some nightmares, recently, some of them pretty nasty. I also had some pictures of his daddy and mother available to him, but nephew actually threw the pictures in the trashcan. I dug them out and hid them away. His therapist and I mutually agreed that I should hold on to them until he has worked on some of his issues and then offer the pictures back to him. He has quit checking the locks at nights, but is still pretty fearful at times, especially when he needs correction. It amazes me how little time it takes to cause long term hurt to a child mind. I'm not sure how long he will be affected from witnessing my brother's attack on me. He saw things that no child should ever have to see, and is scared that someone will do that to him when he gets in trouble.
He slips and calls me mommy when he is scared. I don't correct him anymore, as his therapist feels that being able to call someone mommy gives him a sense of security. I'll tell you a secret....I hate it when he is scared, but I love to hear him say "mommy, snuggle me" as he curls up in my lap. L.O.V.E it. I cannot wait for the day that I can say "YUP, that's right! I'm your mommy forever and ever and ever!"

I am ok. I don't check the locks anymore either. I can get through most days without thinking about what my brother did to me. I do have one scar on my chest, and while I don't care about a scar, I seeing that scar brings back a painful memory. I don't wake up in a cold sweat anymore, and I don't hear those nasty words in my sleep anymore.

Nephew and I are both safe. We have a fully belly and a warm house and a great big Christmas tree with WAY too many presents under it. We laugh every day and we play with matchbox cars every day. Even the goats are nice and safe in their barn.

I think we are going to be ok!

Silverplum, Ohiogal, Justalayman, LdiJ, Proserpina, ecmst,.....and whomever else I have forgotten (forgive me, it's late)..... Thank you so much for all your help through all of this. I haven't always agreed with everything you all have said, but I did listen to everything that was said. Even when I acted like a witch, lol. I wish you all a wonderful and happy holiday season! May your belly be full and your heart be warm!

I'm relaxing with some Chardonnay (and some Kenny G), and since I cant pass a glass to each of you, I'll have an extra glass in your honor!