Blackmail

[clcarter]

Texas - I recently had an affair (has since ended) and the other person is threatening to expose to not only my spouse but has already exposed to my pastor (I am a deacon in the church - I will most likely lose this position). The person is stating that if I do not meet with her and her demands (which she has not disclosed), she will be forced to continue communicating my bad decision to other important figures in my life including my employer. I have a very ethics driven position. I am willing to pay a retainer and start the legal process. I just don't know who to call.

 

[Eekamouse]

Texas - I recently had an affair (has since ended) and the other person is threatening to expose to not only my spouse but has already exposed to my pastor (I am a deacon in the church - I will most likely lose this position). The person is stating that if I do not meet with her and her demands (which she has not disclosed), she will be forced to continue communicating my bad decision to other important figures in my life including my employer. I have a very ethics driven position. I am willing to pay a retainer and start the legal process. I just don't know who to call.

I suggest you come clean to your wife and employer immediately. To do anything else would be completely dishonest and you don't want that. You knew you what you were doing when you cheated on your wife. Take responsibility for your actions and take away the ability for your blackmailer to blackmail you.

 

[Silverplum]

Texas - I recently had an affair (has since ended) and the other person is threatening to expose to not only my spouse but has already exposed to my pastor (I am a deacon in the church - I will most likely lose this position). The person is stating that if I do not meet with her and her demands (which she has not disclosed), she will be forced to continue communicating my bad decision to other important figures in my life including my employer. I have a very ethics driven position. I am willing to pay a retainer and start the legal process. I just don't know who to call.

The police. That's who you call when you are threatened.

(We don't provide lawyer referrals.)

 

[quincy]

Texas - I recently had an affair (has since ended) and the other person is threatening to expose to not only my spouse but has already exposed to my pastor (I am a deacon in the church - I will most likely lose this position). The person is stating that if I do not meet with her and her demands (which she has not disclosed), she will be forced to continue communicating my bad decision to other important figures in my life including my employer. I have a very ethics driven position. I am willing to pay a retainer and start the legal process. I just don't know who to call.

What you describe is neither defamation nor blackmail.

Why is the other person making (unknown) demands of you, and why are you reluctant to meet with her to possibly end the threats or at least find out what the demands are that she wants met?

You cannot prevent the woman from speaking to others about your affair, by the way, so you could ignore her and her threats. She is liable to tell others about you regardless of whether you meet "demands." Affairs are rarely kept secret for long.

I do not see that the police can do anything to help you right now.

 

[Silverplum]

(MrQ: I admit I gave the answer in hopes it would make OP cry and feel more unhappy.)

 

[quincy]

(MrQ: I admit I gave the answer in hopes it would make OP cry and feel more unhappy.)

Haha. I think clcarter will be unhappy enough when forced to speak about his infidelity to his pastor and his wife.

I also think clcarter might be smart to start looking for a new position, perhaps with a new employer, that is not a "very ethics driven" one. The whole ethics thing does not seem to be working out too well for him.

 

[tranquility]

The police. That's who you call when you are threatened.

(We don't provide lawyer referrals.)

The "police" will consider this a civil case until the purported blackmailer asks for money/value. The criminal violation is listed under theft.

 

[Silverplum]

The "police" will consider this a civil case until the purported blackmailer asks for money/value. The criminal violation is listed under theft.

(sigh...)

You're correct, of course!

 

[quincy]

The "police" will consider this a civil case until the purported blackmailer asks for money/value. The criminal violation is listed under theft.

Texas has no extortion or blackmail statute. Both would fall under the Texas theft statute. There is no theft at this point or even attempted theft. We do not know what demands are being made (or for what reason).

Here are links to the laws.

Texas Penal Code Ann §31.03 (theft): http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/txstatutes/PE/7/31/31.03

Texas Penal Code Ann §15.001 (attempted theft): http://law.justia.com/codes/texas/2005/pe/004.00.000015.00.html

Because nothing can prevent the woman from talking to others about the affair, it would seem profoundly stupid to meet any monetary demand (unless the demand is for money already owed or previously promised the woman ... which is a possibility).

 

[Silverplum]

Eek's the most correct of all, even above the LawGuys.

 

[quincy]

Eek's the most correct of all, even above the LawGuys.

I was going to "like" Eekamouse's post but I knew after reading it that I was going to be arguing the "blackmail" and "blackmailer" parts, so I didn't.

I agree with Eekamouse that admitting to the mistake of the affair could restore at least a little bit of honor to clcarter's character - and it would certainly take the thunder out of any future threats made by the woman to disclose the affair to others.

 

[Eekamouse]

'Scuse me whilst I jump back and kiss myself! LOL

 

[quincy]

'Scuse me whilst I jump back and kiss myself! LOL

Deserved.

Even when there is or might be a legal solution to a problem (not that I see one here), a legal solution is rarely the only or the best solution. I like the one you offered best.