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Can I legally pay off my harasser?

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ms2001

Junior Member
Can I legally offer to pay my harasser to leave me alone?

I am in New York. Somebody in California has been stalking and harassing me regularly through the Internet for almost two years through blogs and forums. We were once friends, so he acquired some personal information, photos and videos about me. He also got a great deal of information about me from Facebook, including names of my friends and family. He is regularly posting content and information about them too.

He isn't simply writing personal information and media about me, but he is also claiming that I have many mental and sexual issues, which I do not. He is writing many lies about me in an effort to embarrass and intimidate me. He has also made several real death threats against me through email and forums.

I have contacted my local police, but they are not taking the matter seriously and seem to think that the Internet is harmless and that my harasser cannot harm me from a far distance. Meanwhile, I cannot get a job because a quick Google of my name will bring up the horrible lies that have been posted about me. I contacted the FBI, but they referred me to ic3.com, which takes months to read your complaint.

My harasser is very poor and so I cannot sue him for harassment, or anything else (or can I?). I live far away and have no income, so getting court orders and orders of restraint can be expensive for me. Meanwhile, I have lost my job and I can't find work, which I believe is because of information published by my harasser throughout the Internet.

I have some savings and I am willing to offer money to my harasser for him to leave me alone. I don't want to put myself in a bad legal position by offering him money, but I really need him to leave me alone. Could somebody please tell me what my options are.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


quincy

Senior Member
Paying your harasser seems like a very, very bad idea.

As an alternative, you could perhaps flood the internet with positive stories about yourself, so that a Google search moves the derogatory/defamatory blog and forum postings to page two or three on a search of your name. This can reduce the harm by reducing the number of people who view your harasser's comments, as many people will not explore past page one listings.

You could also file complaints with each site that hosts the offensive postings and hope that the sites will voluntarily remove the information about you and your family. If real names are used by your harasser, this could be a violation of the terms of service of the sites that host the material.

If the videos and photos being posted belong to you (you took the photos/videos), then you could file a DMCA take-down notice with the sites, to have the copyrighted photos and videos removed.

And you could use the money you say you have available to pay off your harasser to, instead, pay for an hour or two of an attorney's time. You could have this attorney draft a cease and desist letter to your harasser, advising him of the laws he is (or may be) violating, and informing your harasser that legal action is being considered and may be pursued if the material about you is not removed immediately. This may not be effective, however, as a C&D has no force of law behind it. Cease and desists are used as a warning only and, as such, can be ignored by a recipient, who may feel any threat of a suit is an idle one and that no legal action will actually follow.

If you have no money to pursue this harasser through the court system, however, and if your harasser has no money to make such a pursuit worthwhile, your options are a bit limited. You may need to wait for your FBI complaint to work its way to the top of the pile.

I do recommend that, at the very least, you stop posting any information about your family or yourself on Facebook or elsewhere, to limit the amount of new information your harasser can access.

Good luck.
 
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TigerD

Senior Member
If you are going to pay off your harasser, at least tell me who you are so I can harass you next.

When they come back for more money -- and they will -- how much additional will you give them?

DC
 

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