c5racing, the website link was removed from your post, so that your personal information and the defamatory comments that were posted about you are not spread to an even wider audience. If forum members want to know which site you are referring to, so they can offer you additional advice, they can send me a private message and I can provide them with the link.
As a note, it would be considered libelous and not slanderous information that is posted on the site. Libel is the written form of defamation and slander is its spoken equivalent.
The "rating" website states in their submission policy that the only way the website will delete submissions or comments is if the information provided in a submission or comment is proven false and defamatory in a court of law. They state that they do not remove postings from the site, even upon request of the author (although they do have a retraction policy, if a retraction request is submitted by the original author - the identity of whom must be verified before any retraction will be considered).
The website states: "This isn't a forum to slander individuals and defame them...By posting false information, you can be potentially subjected to defamation lawsuits. IP addresses and emails are tracked by this website and can be subpoenaed in a court of law for a defamation suit. [XWebsite] is not liable for information that you post."
This website, by the way, is one that is sure to attract a lot of lawsuits. It is a relatively new website (created in 2010), but I wouldn't be surprised if suits have already been threatenend or filed over the content appearing.
After just a cursory look at the site and its contents, I found several reviews of "exes," all of which provide full names and many of which provide photos for clear identification, and the exes are called alcoholics, drug addicts, severely emotionally unstable, verbally and physically and emotionally abusive, violent sociopaths, textbook sociopaths, harassing stalkers, and one ex was called a male prostitute and one ex was called a person who harms his child physically. Without proof of the truth of these statements, I would think the people submitting such reviews could easily find themselves on the losing end of a defamation suit.
Although websites are generally protected from defamation suits under the Communication Decency Act's Section 230, if they have not contributed to the content on the site or encouraged defamatory content, this particular website (despite a rather lengthy disclaimer and the repeated phrase of "we are not liable") could find itself named as a defendant or co-defendant in a defamation suit, as well.
The website says that "once a posting has been submitted...the posting has left the possession of the submitter and the submitter gives explicit permission to [XWebsite.com] for the use of the submission." That may not be a problem for the site (depending on how they use the submissions) - however the website also says it can "paraphrase within articles written by content writers for the website" parts of the submissions. This would make them equally liable for any defamatory content in any submission they paraphrase (or quote). The website becomes a content creator and not merely a web host, and there is a good chance that the CDA protection would not hold. It could also be a question as to whether defamatory content is encouraged by the website (again despite the website's disclaimers to the contrary).
At any rate, I suggest you have an attorney review what is posted on the site about you. I actually didn't see any review posted to the site that was not potentially defamatory, so I understand your concern. It is very possible you have a suit worth pursuing against your ex, especially if you can demonstrate personal and/or professional reputational injury has resulted from the "review" (although with some comments, if false, reputational injury may be presumed and damages can be awarded on this presumed injury alone).
It appears the only way you can get the information about you deleted from the website entirely (at least according to the website) is through a successful lawsuit brought against the poster of the defamatory material. It could be that a cease and desist letter sent to your ex (most effectively sent by an attorney) threatening a defamation suit if the submission is not fully retracted will be enough to get your ex to post a retraction. A retraction, however, will not remove your identifying information from the site.
Defamation suits are often extremely expensive to pursue but a suit can be worth this expense when there has been severe (demonstrable) reputational injury or if what is posted seems likely to result in future personal or professional damage, especially if the defamer is a person who has money or assets enough to make any award of damages in a suit collectable.
Good luck.
