Can I be sued for defamation?

[trussell]

I have recently split up with my fiance. In an effort to reconsile, I bought a puppy and dropped it off at her place with a note stating "I love you" attached. What person doesn't melt when they see a cute little puppy? I found out after the fact that she has a new live in boyfriend and I suppose he falls into the category with those that don't! So I received a phone call from her asking where I wanted her to take the dog because she didn't want it. We met in a public parking lot and she had her dad with her. Her dad is a preacher of a church in another neighboring town. When I pulled into the parking lot, he jumped out of his truck, walked up to mine, reached in my truck where I sat, and began choking me! He is 60 years old and has a heart condition so I didn't retaliate for fear that he might drop dead right there. Once I got him to let go, he stepped back and told me that he would find me and put a bullet between my eyes! This all coming from a preacher! So I was thinking of writing a letter to the church informing them of their leader's behavior. It is my understanding that he is supposed to deliver the word of God and help bring people to meet him. I was unaware that preachers would go to such extremes to have that appointment time bumped up! So if I write the church and include only factual information, can he sue for defamation? I live in Mississippi (which you would probably expect with a story like this) if it matters.

[Stevef]

Anybody can sue at any time. The outcome is what is in question.

Truth is a defense to defamation - so when he sues, you will have the burden of proof to show that what you wrote was true.

[quincy]

I think that, perhaps better than a letter to the church, you should file a police report, for assault, battery, and threats to your life - if you choose to do anything at all. Because the father's reaction seems a bit extreme, I am thinking there must be more to your story than just a recent breakup with your fianceé and your delivery of a puppy in an attempt to reconcile with her.

The preacher can sue for defamation if you write false and defamatory statements about him, but he cannot win a suit against you over provably true statements that you make about him. If there were witnesses to his attack on you, then your "truth" could be easy to prove. No witnesses, however, and it is not so easy.

I hope you found a good home for the puppy, by the way. Although most people "melt" when they see a cute little puppy, it is never a wise idea to give someone a pet unless you know for a fact that they want one. I gave a kitten to my sister several years ago - left him in a picnic basket outside her apartment door, rang the bell, and waited for her to retrieve him. Although she kept the kitten, he wound up costing her an extra $50 a month in apartment fees, and she lost her damage deposit when she moved. The kitten was a destructive and costly little fellow.

[VeronicaLodge]

i agree with quincy

[trussell]

Thanks for the advice! I do indeed have witnesses to the fact and yes there are a few details that I left out for the sake of length. I wanted to make sure I was protected should I decide to stoop to their level. It seems as though I read somewhere that you can also run a risk of violating a person's privacy rights, any thoughts?

[quincy]

From what you have posted here, I do not see any invasion of privacy.

There are four privacy torts recognized by most states - publication of private facts, intrusion into seclusion, misappropriation of a person's name or likeness for a commercial purpose, and false light (which is akin to defamation).

Misappropriation of a person's name or likeness does not apply in your situation, nor does intrusion into one's seclusion. Intrusion into someone's seclusion generally involves invading a person's private space, often in a surreptitious manner, say through the use of a telephoto lens, a secret recording or videotaping. Hopefully you are not doing that.

Although a letter to the church would be publishing "facts" about the preacher, and could put him in a less-than-favorable light, the assault (especially if witnessed by others and especially if a police report is filed) is not private, and a false light claim, like defamation, would require some stretching of the truth when you relate the events.

None of this, however, prevents the preacher from suing you anyway - for invasion of privacy, defamation, harassment, whatever. I imagine your ex-fianceé could even consider filing a stalking complaint, depending on the circumstances.

It appears to me that your ex-fianceé has moved on with her life, and her preacher-dad seems happy that there is either a new boyfriend in her life or that you are out of it.

I personally think your wisest move may be away from her and away from him and away from all risk of any sort of legal action being filed against you. No more cute puppies, no letters to her, no letters about her father, no police report, no nothing. You cannot benefit, from what I can tell at least, in carrying this relationship any further.

[SBoon]

Originally Posted by quincy

From what you have posted here, I do not see any invasion of privacy.

There are four privacy torts recognized by most states - publication of private facts, intrusion into seclusion, misappropriation of a person's name or likeness for a commercial purpose, and false light (which is akin to defamation).

Misappropriation of a person's name or likeness does not apply in your situation, nor does intrusion into one's seclusion. Intrusion into someone's seclusion generally involves invading a person's private space, often in a surreptitious manner, say through the use of a telephoto lens, a secret recording or videotaping. Hopefully you are not doing that.

Although a letter to the church would be publishing "facts" about the preacher, and could put him in a less-than-favorable light, the assault (especially if witnessed by others and especially if a police report is filed) is not private, and a false light claim, like defamation, would require some stretching of the truth when you relate the events.

None of this, however, prevents the preacher from suing you anyway - for invasion of privacy, defamation, harassment, whatever. I imagine your ex-fianceé could even consider filing a stalking complaint, depending on the circumstances.

It appears to me that your ex-fianceé has moved on with her life, and her preacher-dad seems happy that there is either a new boyfriend in her life or that you are out of it.

I personally think your wisest move may be away from her and away from him and away from all risk of any sort of legal action being filed against you. No more cute puppies, no letters to her, no letters about her father, no police report, no nothing. You cannot benefit, from what I can tell at least, in carrying this relationship any further.

Here here! Good advice - move on. Stop the madness and take care of yourself.

SBoon

[trussell]

Again, thanks for all the advice! Believe me I would like nothing more than to move on from this obvious poor judge of character on my part. However, its extremely hard to do so while they are holding on to my belongings. Some of the details I left out... She has a lot of my personal belongings in her possesion, I have to pay her daughter's cell phone bill each month because she won't accept the responsibility, and I can't imagine her dad is too thrilled about her allowing a convicted felon to live with his grand-daughters. I gave up my career for this woman (which I accept responsibility for) and have been repaid with disrespectful remarks at work and the community in which I live. They want me to have to go through a little trouble just to get what's rightfully mine! You maybe asking why would she be keeping his things. #1 She is ignorant to the fact that we were not married meaning that anything I can prove is mine, is legally mine. She believes that a judge will determine who gets what. #2 She is upset because she was caught in an interacial relationship with a married man, 2 things her family doesn't believe in. She is afraid that I am going to tell his wife and then she will have to deal with those problems. And she is right, I will be calling this guys wife. I want to move on and rid myself of these trashy problems but despite my efforts, it seems as though her and her family want to drag this out. I don't want to get down on this trashy level but where do you draw the line and when is it time to stand up for yourself?

[quincy]

Hmmm. I think I liked your posts better before you added all the details.

I can't quite figure out why you gave this woman a cute little puppy, but I guess I will skip over that puzzle.

I first recommend that you cancel the phone service. If your ex-fianceé does not want to take responsibility for it, then I guess her daughter doesn't have the use of a cell phone any more. Not your problem.

I suggest you make a list of your possessions and then take her to court to get their return.

I advise that you do NOT call the wife of the man your ex-fianceé is now seeing. It is not your business, so don't make it your problem.

Then, once you have the phone service cancelled and your possessions back and your focus diverted from her back to you, then I suggest following this last bit of revised advice: Instead of just moving away from her and from her father and from all the legal problems your relationship with them could create, move far FAR away from her and from her father and the legal problems, and also from philandering felons and their wives. . . . . and then work on getting your career back on track.

Good luck.