COO has been sending my wife offers to have an affair

[tired_father]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hello - I have recently (6 months ago) become aware of a local gentlemen that has for years been sending my wife offers to be her *discreet lover. They mainly used chat and email for the correspondence.

I stumbled upon this info by accident and found that a good amount of the indecent proposals were archived in the messenger program and my wife came clean that this gentlemen (for the lack of a better word) has been waiting in the wings of my marriage with many offers for an illicit affair...at least I hope he has been waiting :-(

I have four beautiful children and am very proud of my marriage and love my wife very much...I am working hard to fix what needs to be fixed to keep my family together.

I am also PISSED that this guy thinks he can toy with the existence of my family and EVERYTHING I hold dear. And damn near cause me to divorce my wife. I am not okay with letting him get away with this. He is a senior executive (COO) at a high tech company in the bay area and I have since sent him two emails asking him to meet me face to face (both ignored)

Yesterday I went to his office and asked for this gentlemen. An office manager came to tell me he was not available and what it was about. I answered truthfully that I wanted to speak to Mr. DB about his persistent requests to have an affair with my wife. She was a bit shocked and took my info and disappeared up the elevator.

I have since found a company blog hosted by his boss and CEO - I am thinking of copying and pasting his offers to be my wifes lover on this blog and asking him to cease and desist with his offers to have an affair with a married woman and ruining marriages and other peoples lives (im guessing this could prove to be an embarrassing situation for him) but obviously do not want to open myself up to litigation by a company that could outspend me easily in legal fee's.

some of what I plan on going "viral" with

[16:21] DB: hey, I already extended my offer.....
[16:21] DB: you tell me when you're ready, m'lady
[16:21] wife: lol
[16:21] DB: hee hee
[16:22] DB: but yeah, being lovers with a woman who is looking to explore outside her relationship is exactly what I am looking for
[16:30] DB: a couple times a month of great food and then no sleep because we can't stop making love to each other all night
[16:30] DB: the anticipation after you leave until the next visit agonizing but delicious
[16:30] DB: yeah
[16:30] DB: sounds like a dream come true
[16:31] DB: yes, please!
[16:31] wife: LoL
[16:31] wife: that would be cool!
[16:31] wife: well see

sorry for the long post - its been a hell of a ride the past 6 months

regards,
tired_father

 

[Zigner]

You really need to stop stalking the man. Your actions already border (if not cross the line) on criminal.

Your wife has spent the last 6 months engaging this man...she is the only person that you have a "contract" with - take it up with her through therapy/counseling (ETA) or divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

I thoroughly agree with Zigner's response.

Your WIFE is to blame here, OP.

What you plan to do could ruin you - forever.

 

[tired_father]

thank you for your replies, prob what I need to hear and I am glad that I asked.

 

[Antigone*]

I thoroughly agree with Zigner's response.

Your WIFE is to blame here, OP.

What you plan to do could ruin you - forever.

Let me reinforce what Proserpina said.

 

[cyjeff]

thank you for your replies, prob what I need to hear and I am glad that I asked.

Trust me, we understand why you want to do this.

I am glad you understand that your legal avenues are limited to what your relationship with your wife will become.

Having said that, many companies in the bay area have had issues with morally bankrupt senior management.

You may wish to Google "Oracle" & "Charles E. Phillips".

In the meantime, you have a decision to make. Divorce or counseling?

 

[Philxxxx]

You really need to stop stalking the man. Your actions already border (if not cross the line) on criminal.

Your wife has spent the last 6 months engaging this man...she is the only person that you have a "contract" with - take it up with her through therapy/counseling (ETA) or divorce.

Ha...not even close to criminal...

I would not post anything publicly about this .. makes no sense really & only bad things can come from this activity.

I think that you have made your point with this guy ... if he continues to contact your wife regarding an affair then you will have to tell your wife to send him a nice note to leave her alone or stalking charges will be filed against him.

 

[cyjeff]

Ha...not even close to criminal...

I would not post anything publicly about this .. makes no sense really & only bad things can come from this activity.

I think that you have made your point with this guy ... if he continues to contact your wife regarding an affair then you will have to tell your wife to send him a nice note to leave her alone or stalking charges will be filed against him.

Wrong.

The OP is not being stalked. If his wife wants to file charges, that is up to her. Of course, the COO's record of continuing agreeable responses is going to make that a tough row to hoe.

You are missing the point... the OP has NO control over this situation. He cannot tell anyone else what to do or how to act. It is not illegal to send suggestive texts and make suggestive calls to a married woman.

"making his point" is called intimidation. That IS illegal.

 

[Philxxxx]

Wrong.

You are missing the point... the OP has NO control over this situation.

If you think that a married man telling a guy who is hitting on his wife to back off is intimidation you are mistaken ; it happens every day in the real world.

The wife may be worried about losing her job in this economy so she is mum about it...right now that is how I viewed the OPs post.

So I would not say that the OP has NO control of the situation ...

I have had to intervene for safety concerns at my wife's employers when I saw hazardous conditions that my wife did not wish to bring up. And I did ~ hardly intimidation.

I am using the word intimidation in the legal sense .. its a felony.

 

[Proserpina]

If you think that a married man telling a guy who is hitting on his wife to back off is intimidation you are mistaken ; it happens every day in the real world.

The wife may be worried about losing her job in this economy so she is mum about it...right now that is how I viewed the OPs post.

...and you don't think HIM interfering is more cause for concern in terms of her employment?


Really?

So I would not say that the OP has NO control of the situation ...

He has control over NOTHING but his own emotional state.

I have had to intervene for safety concerns at my wife's employers when I saw hazardous conditions that my wife did not wish to bring up.

Oh, really? Please explain. Before I comment further.

And I did ~ hardly intimidation.

Ditto previous response.

I am using the word intimidation in the legal sense .. its a felony.

Let's see what you have to say.

(Not wanting to hijack)

 

[quincy]

tired_father, your "stumbling upon" the private emails and chats between your wife and the CCO could cause you as much trouble as publishing these on the company's blog, if your relationship with your wife turns out not to be salvageable.

If you want to avoid the risk of being sued, you will not implement your proposed plans to publish these private communications. See Zigner's Post #2. That is the advice that would be wise to follow.