Is this defamation of character?

[Brina1981]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? West Virginia

Ok here is the situation in a nutshell. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory disorder which most of the time is attributed by an STD. Had to wait on the test results to know for sure. My children's father with whom I was still involved with on a sexual level was told before I got my test results. So of course he was angry completely understandable but his actions were completely uncalled for. He sent me nasty emails calling me a whore, saying that our children had a right to know that I was a whore, etc. That wasn't bad enough, he went to a male friend of mines home and told this guy and his entire family that I had sexually transmitted diseases and that he should get tested. Which I haven't been sexually involved with this man in over 12 yrs. A day later I got my test results and nothing no STDs. I am enthralled to say the least and have been refraining to take it to personal but he is ruining my reputation and not to mention the reputation of my children. Something like this could even affect my career because I am going into Human Services. I do not know what to do. Is this considered defamation of character? If so would it be worth pursuing on a legal level?
Any advice?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Brina1981

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? West Virginia

Ok here is the situation in a nutshell. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory disorder which most of the time is attributed by an STD. Had to wait on the test results to know for sure. My children's father with whom I was still involved with on a sexual level was told before I got my test results. So of course he was angry completely understandable but his actions were completely uncalled for. He sent me nasty emails calling me a whore, saying that our children had a right to know that I was a whore, etc. That wasn't bad enough, he went to a male friend of mines home and told this guy and his entire family that I had sexually transmitted diseases and that he should get tested. Which I haven't been sexually involved with this man in over 12 yrs. A day later I got my test results and nothing no STDs. I am enthralled to say the least and have been refraining to take it to personal but he is ruining my reputation and not to mention the reputation of my children. Something like this could even affect my career because I am going into Human Services. I do not know what to do. Is this considered defamation of character? If so would it be worth pursuing on a legal level?
Any advice?

OP, you were not enthralled. You were "appalled". I'm not pointing this out to make fun, or for any other reason other than the two words mean completely different things, k? .

You do not have a case for defamation at this time. Your ex told someone what he understood to be the truth at the time - you had told him that your tests indicated the presence of an STD. That he told someone else is not defamation because it was the truth as he knew it then.

If he has continued telling people after you received the test results and have told him there was no STD present it may be different.

In what way do you believe your career could be harmed?

[quincy]

I disagree with Dogmatique.

One, neither the word enthralled (captivated, fascinated) nor the word appalled (shocked, dismayed) seems to fit finding out that the test results were negative. "Relieved' may be a better word.

Two, unless you told your children's dad that you HAD a sexually transmitted disease, instead of just telling him you were waiting on test results, it was defamatory for him to tell others you had an STD. It would be no different than calling someone a thief without proof and before a conviction.

In addition, he should not have told others you had a sexually transmitted disease in the first place, whether it was true or not. It was an invasion of your privacy. Had the test results come back positive, then it would have been YOUR place to inform your sexual partners - not his.

However, with that said, I do not believe this is something worth pursuing in court. The injury to your reputation seems limited. Any defamation lawsuit would be open to the public and stands to be more damaging to your reputation and to a future Human Services career than the fact your children's dad erroneously told one family that you had an STD. You can repair that damage more easily by telling this family that you don't.

And, even if you won a suit against your children's dad (and there is no guarantee that you would because, as Dog said, he could potentially be successful in using a "belief in the truth of what he was saying" defense - although this wouldn't work with an invasion of privacy action), you cannot be compensated for what MAY happen in the future to your career. Damages are awarded on the reputational injury already suffered.

You probably should tell your kids' dad that he should refrain from saying anything more about the matter to anyone else (ESPECIALLY the kids) and he should knock off the "whore" talk, because legal action may be considered if he doesn't.

By the way, if you and your kids' dad are having sexual relations with each other AND with others, you should be having protected sex, to avoid as much as possible any unwanted diseases.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by quincy

I disagree with Dogmatique.

One, neither the word enthralled (captivated, fascinated) nor the word appalled (shocked, dismayed) seems to fit finding out that the test results were negative. "Relieved' may be a better word.

Ooops. I perhaps mistakenly assumed OP was appalled at what her ex did in terms of the name-calling etc.

Two, unless you told your children's dad that you HAD a sexually transmitted disease, instead of just telling him you were waiting on test results, it was defamatory for him to tell others you had an STD. It would be no different than calling someone a thief without proof and before a conviction.

Again that was an assumption on my part. Sorry OP!

In addition, he should not have told others you had a sexually transmitted disease in the first place, whether it was true or not. It was an invasion of your privacy. Had the test results come back positive, then it would have been YOUR place to inform your sexual partners - not his.

Good point. I did not think of the invasion of privacy issue.

However, with that said, I do not believe this is something worth pursuing in court. The injury to your reputation seems limited. Any defamation lawsuit would be open to the public and stands to be more damaging to your reputation and to a future Human Services career than the fact your children's dad erroneously told one family that you had an STD. You can repair that damage more easily by telling this family that you don't.

Agreed absolutely.

And, even if you won a suit against your children's dad (and there is no guarantee that you would because, as Dog said, he could potentially be successful in using a "belief in the truth of what he was saying" defense - although this wouldn't work with an invasion of privacy action), you cannot be compensated for what MAY happen in the future to your career. Damages are awarded on the reputational injury already suffered.

You probably should tell your kids' dad that he should refrain from saying anything more about the matter to anyone else (ESPECIALLY the kids) and he should knock off the "whore" talk, because legal action may be considered if he doesn't.

By the way, if you and your kids' dad are having sexual relations with each other AND with others, you should be having protected sex, to avoid as much as possible any unwanted diseases.

Completely agree - and thank you for reminding me to not assume quite as much as I did in this thread

[quincy]

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