Do I have a case? slander, defamation in the workplace

[Sophie1236]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

A rumor started in high school that I suck dicks,

It floated into every job I've had since then as if its my trademark. I've been in the same career for 25 years, even moved to another state. Anyone can ask where I work and perhaps they know of someone there that the word is spread, and once there its easy to find someone else to spread it to...not sure where the momentum is. My husband of 20 years and I have never even engaged in that.

It is in my place of work now--I am harassed by one of my coworkers who knows and has been trying to get me fired and refuses to work with me. He has been going around talking about it to others. The other people in my department had stopped interacting with me. He doesn't openly harass me, only behind my back on a regular basis, but occasionally had some bad things to say directly, and refuses to go to lunch trying to separate the department from me.. to get the coworkers to not talk to me.
My husband is living in another state for 2 years on job relocation--and I fell into a relationship with A different coworker in another dept., who acted like he wanted to get involved with me and I fell for it, supposedly took some hidden pics of me forced me into doing that same activity and now the other guy is spreading this information around work that I did this same sexual act and cheated on my husband--and telling of specifics of what we did.

There is so much gossip when I'm not around, and I feel like I need to just leave.

Do I have any case at all? I am 45 years old, long out of high school, married for 20 years with my husband for 22. Yes, I cheated and there was some consensual oral sex going on. I do not talk or openly admit to anything. Have not been addressed directly about anything and not seen any pics, all side gossip I've overheard. I feel like I've been tricked and messed with, the slander of my reputation was there before this other event occurred.

I have the choice of leaving this workplace and going back to live with my spouse, and feel it is my only option to control the gossip stirred up by both the affair guy who has sent texts to his friend about everything we did, who then sent them to 4 others at the company... and the bully in my dept. who cant keep his mouth shut.

The affair guy is keeping himself hidden and just stirring things up for me. Nobody knows its him and yet they all know what I'm up to.

Any thoughts? I am emotionally drained.

 

[Eekamouse]

So you're saying you did cheat on your husband with a co-worker who took photos of you doing a sex act and you're mad because another co-worker is telling people about you? Smh

 

[Sophie1236]

so you're saying you did cheat on your husband with a co-worker who took photos of you doing a sex act and you're mad because another co-worker is telling people about you? Smh

I was tricked into the relation, he was playing me and then feeding information to create stirred up gossip.

But yes, I am an idiot.

 

[Eekamouse]

How were you tricked into the relationship? Take responsibility for your actions. You aren't a victim. You knew what you were doing. How could the one you had the affair with take photos without you knowing about them?

 

[Sophie1236]

How were you tricked into the relationship? Take responsibility for your actions. You aren't a victim. You knew what you were doing. How could the one you had the affair with take photos without you knowing about them?

He may have had a hidden camera,
I was getting emotionally involved not knowing what kind of person he truly was. I have not actually seen any pics only heard a rumor.

How can someone do this to another person without feeling like a creep? Should I tell anyone its him, since they don't know who he is but know all about me doing this?

 

[Eekamouse]

He may have had a hidden camera,
I was getting emotionally involved not knowing what kind of person he truly was. I have not actually seen any pics only heard a rumor.

How can someone do this to another person without feeling like a creep?

Your poor choices are on you, not on him. You act like you didn't have any choice but that's far from the truth. No one made you get involved with him. That was your choice. How do you know there are photos if you have never seen any?

 

[Sophie1236]

Your poor choices are on you, not on him. You act like you didn't have any choice but that's far from the truth. No one made you get involved with him. That was your choice. How do you know there are photos if you have never seen any?

Just rumors of photos.

If I got into a relationship or even friendship and find myself in a situation that is this bad, then how is this all my fault?

The average person would not be this evil and corrupt to do something this bad to someone else. Esp. not someone spending a lot of time with me.

Now I'm being blamed for trusting someone??

 

[Shadowbunny]

Just rumors of photos.

If I got into a relationship or even friendship and find myself in a situation that is this bad, then how is this all my fault?

The average person would not be this evil and corrupt to do something this bad to someone else. Esp. not someone spending a lot of time with me.

Now I'm being blamed for trusting someone??

No, you're being blamed for willingly cheating on your spouse.

Are you saying that if your lover wasn't "evil and corrupt" then this situation WOULD be your fault? Grow up and stop trying to blame YOUR bad choices on someone else.

 

[Ladyback1]

OH GOOD GRIEF!

You had a sexually relationship with a co-worker. You knowingly and willingly engaged in said sexual relationship. You are a victim of your own bad decision making....

Stop, JUST STOP, trying to put the blame on other people. When a person behaves badly? Other people are going to talk about them.

YOU CHOSE to sleep with a co-worker, knowing that you had a husband. Hard to dig up sympathy for a cheater.

 

[quincy]

... Should I tell anyone its him, since they don't know who he is but know all about me doing this?

You can tell others about your sexual relationship, if for some reason you feel the need to disclose your infidelity. Your extra-marital affair is the truth.

However, you should not tell anyone about hidden cameras and photos if these are just unproven rumors. You would be accusing your coworker of a crime, and that can get you sued for defamation.

You probably should start looking for another job (and possibly a divorce lawyer).

 

[Shadowbunny]

You probably should start looking for another job (and possibly a divorce lawyer).

And a behavioral health therapist. Because believing that gossip from 20+ years is following you around isn't sane.

 

[Eekamouse]

You chose to involve yourself with a co-worker and have a sexual relationship with him. You are married. That makes you look a bit immoral, don't you agree? If you were unmarried and got involved with someone you worked with and didn't get to know him well enough to see what kind of person he was before you hopped into bed with him, that also tends to make you look a bit immoral. You said you're 45? This is not your first rodeo. You should have enough life experience by now to not act so impulsively but you have and now you want to call yourself the victim? If you are going to act the slut at work, expect word to get around. It has nothing to do with what was said about you in high school unless what was said back then was as true then as it apparently is now.

 

[quincy]

It appears that the only legal recourse Sophie might have, at least based on what has been said so far, is filing a criminal complaint over the surreptitious photographing or filming of the sexual relationship - IF photos or film actually exist.

The surreptitious photographing or filming can be charged as a Class D felony.

Here is a link to Indiana's "hidden camera" law, Indiana Code Ann §35-45-4-5: http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/incode/35/45/4/35-45-4-5

What is being said in rumors and gossip appear to be based on truth, and not denied as the truth by Sophie, so there is no defamation claim that is supportable.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was tricked into the relation, he was playing me and then feeding information to create stirred up gossip.

But yes, I am an idiot.

You were not tricked. YOU CHOSE to have an affair. YOU CHOSE to engage in such activity. YOU CHOSE THIS.

 

[BadDecision]

It's called hostile work environment - talk to you HR representative.

Although your infidelity is your fault no one should be harassing you about your sex life at work.