Facebook Harassment charge?

[Troy123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I'm in florida but complaint was filed in georgia.

Well I was contacted via email by a detective from Warner Robins Georgia stating that an harassment complaint had been filed by one of my Ex. Girlfriends that I recently found on facebook after almost 16 years.

Anyway's I'll try and get to the point. I contacted her after not seeing her for 16 years as I have always wondered if she might have possibly had my child years ago as the last time I saw her we had got into verbal fight and broke up well I picked her up out of anger and carried her outside to tell her to go as I could take no more. Well as I was carrying her she said I was hurting her stomach and then just blurted out "The baby".

Well that was one of the last things I ever heard from her until I finally found her all these years later on facebook. I contacted her and she eventually contacted me back after I tried to contact one of her old friends to see if maybe she could tell me something since I did not here from her at first.

Well we messaged back and forth a few times and she even got to the point of being friendly and even made a comment to me about her breaking up with her fiance. I still don't quite understand why she bothered to tell me that but anyways I told her that I thought it would be nice if we could be friends again that I would like that.

And she seemed to be ok with that until I started asking her things about our past then she started acting strange and defensive and even flat out denying of things that happened in the past.

Well when I started really asking her about the time that she made the comment about being pregnant she really started acting defensive and completely denying every thing that had happened such as her comment about being pregnant and the fact that she and I were trying to conceive a child. She even went as far as saying that she never wanted a child then and that I used protection at all times which is a complete fabrication on her part. Of course that bothered me and I questioned her of the complete denial on her part as at the time, I could not bring my self to understand why she would do such a thing.

Needless to say after I brought up such things and brought up past sexual experiences that pertained to the whole matter she finally sent me a message saying I was sick and that she did not want to here from me again.

Well the very next day I sent her one last message stating that I was sorry that I ever found her again as it only made things worse and I did not get any answers that I had sought for for 16 years and that I was just upset that she thought of me in the way that she did ,as to call me sick. I told her that I had given up on trying to talk to her and that I was not going to contact her again, as a matter of fact the letter before that was stating that I had given up on trying to talk to her as I could see that she would not allow it to go anywares as she had secrets that she wanted to keep about the past, What ever that might be.

I then get a message from her Ex. Husband calling me a Rapist among other things which really upset me as I could only assume that she must have said some awful lies about me for him to say such things to me he also said she was very scared of me. What?

Then he said that a police report had been filed with my info. Well needless to say I was then very upset with the things he accused me of as he had no right to say such things. But what makes it worse is that she is the one that put him up to it and he just thought that he was protecting his ex wife from some horrible man from her past.

Well needless to say she made a report stating that I harassed her for which I don't see it that way at all. I never said anything to scare her or any lies or threats I only stated how I felt and asked her what happened all those years ago, as It has haunted me for almost 16 years not knowing what really happened. Me bringing up the past was apparently to much for her to handle and I did not expect that from her I only wanted to finally try and find out what actually did happen. I felt I deserved to know and it has been a worry for me for a very long time.

The point is this Det. emails me after almost 3 weeks stating that she was informing me of the harassment report that had been filled against me to contact her. Well I did not get the message until like 10-11 pm after her work hours. Well one of her contacts were her email so I responded by email and tried to explain my side of the story and to show that I did not harass her and only asked her some personal questions about our past. That I also on more than one occasion suggested to my Ex that if she did not want to talk to me or here from me that all she had to do is block me on facebook , as it is as simple as clicking a button I even explained to her how to do it.

And this was all before she sent her message saying I was sick and to not message her anymore.

So I ask why she just did not block me from the start rather than blow things way out of proportion and demonize me just to hide from her past and to go and file a complaint against me with the police.

I don't get it unless she just wanted to get back at me for god knows what I guess bringing up the past. Well I got off track the detective responds back this morning ridiculing me for sending in her words a"LENGTHY" email yes the detective even put in bold print the word lengthy, as if I did something wrong by trying to defend my self and sending her copies of some of the messages that were sent back and forth between us.

The detective even told me I was jumping to conclusions that were not true. As if she knows all.. Well I'm sorry but I think she is biased against me and her actions showed that not to mention the Detective is a female on top of it all.

So do you think she would believe a thing I would say? My question is what should I do about this matter as I don't feel comfortable even talking to this detective after her email response back to me. She states that I need to contact her by phone or provide her with my phone number.

Can I just ignore this detective as I don't see that I have done any type of harassment and I did respond by email, for which I got ridiculed for as if I did something wrong by emailing her after hours and trying to explain that I did nothing wrong in my eyes,

and that I also have no intention on contacting my ex ever again after what she has done and shown me what she is capable of as far as lying and her disregard for me in general. What are my options? and sorry for rambling on so long as I'm not good at putting my thoughts down on paper so to speak.. Thank you for any advise.

P.S. I received another email from the Detective telling me that I have until Monday to contact her that no formal charges have been filed. Why am I obligated to even call this Det. even though no charges have been filed. I can pretty much guess that the detective wants to talk to me so she can just say don't message her again for which I have already made that clear to both the detective and the person whom filed the Harassment complaint.

My whole point is that I don't feel like I have done any type of harassment at all by asking my ex personal questions about the past which involved both of us. And I think that what I asked is a legitimate and important question for someone to ask "if they were indeed pregnant back then" And if so what happened I think that is a justifiable question of me to ask that is not harassment, But a serious question.

What are my options here and what entails cyber harassment because every thing I have read so far does not show that I have done anything wrong or harassing. As she asked me to stop writing her then I sent one last message confirming that I would indeed not contact her any farther but she had already reported me by that point.

As her Ex husband sent me an ugly letter stating that I had been reported to the police among some other awful things he accused me of being. She even 2 days prior to that said that she never said we could not be friends in response to a message I sent her stating that I felt like she did not want to talk to me. Then 2 days before that she was telling me how she just dumped her fiance of 4 years. Talking about mixed messages!!! Well any help would be greatly appreciated as far as my options..... Thank you

 

[LdiJ]

Please edit your post to add paragraphs and white space. Nobody is going to attempt to read a big block of text like that.

 

[Mass_Shyster]

I suggest that you should not talk to the police without an attorney present. That includes not responding to any email from an out of state detective.

 

[Troy123]

any one else?

I tried to clean up my letter and space out my message in order to satisfy LDiJ. But the spacing just went back the way it was sorry buddy but thank's for your help anyways. Thank you for your input Stevef hopefully some others will read my big block of letters and try and be helpful despite the errors of my writings.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I tried to clean up my letter and space out my message in order to satisfy LDiJ. But the spacing just went back the way it was sorry buddy but thank's for your help anyways. Thank you for your input Stevef hopefully some others will read my big block of letters and try and be helpful despite the errors of my writings.

no you didnt. I'm bored, so I will try to edit it for you....

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I'm in florida but complaint was filed in georgia.

Well I was contacted via email by a detective from Warner Robins Georgia stating that an harassment complaint had been filed by one of my Ex. Girlfriends that I recently found on facebook after almost 16 years.

Anyway's I'll try and get to the point. I contacted her after not seeing her for 16 years as I have always wondered if she might have possibly had my child years ago as the last time I saw her we had got into verbal fight and broke up well I picked her up out of anger and carried her outside to tell her to go as I could take no more. Well as I was carrying her she said I was hurting her stomach and then just blurted out "The baby".

Well that was one of the last things I ever heard from her until I finally found her all these years later on facebook. I contacted her and she eventually contacted me back after I tried to contact one of her old friends to see if maybe she could tell me something since I did not here from her at first.

Well we messaged back and forth a few times and she even got to the point of being friendly and even made a comment to me about her breaking up with her fiance. I still don't quite understand why she bothered to tell me that but anyways I told her that I thought it would be nice if we could be friends again that I would like that.

And she seemed to be ok with that until I started asking her things about our past then she started acting strange and defensive and even flat out denying of things that happened in the past.

Well when I started really asking her about the time that she made the comment about being pregnant she really started acting defensive and completely denying every thing that had happened such as her comment about being pregnant and the fact that she and I were trying to conceive a child. She even went as far as saying that she never wanted a child then and that I used protection at all times which is a complete fabrication on her part. Of course that bothered me and I questioned her of the complete denial on her part as at the time, I could not bring my self to understand why she would do such a thing.

Needless to say after I brought up such things and brought up past sexual experiences that pertained to the whole matter she finally sent me a message saying I was sick and that she did not want to here from me again.

Well the very next day I sent her one last message stating that I was sorry that I ever found her again as it only made things worse and I did not get any answers that I had sought for for 16 years and that I was just upset that she thought of me in the way that she did ,as to call me sick. I told her that I had given up on trying to talk to her and that I was not going to contact her again, as a matter of fact the letter before that was stating that I had given up on trying to talk to her as I could see that she would not allow it to go anywares as she had secrets that she wanted to keep about the past, What ever that might be.

I then get a message from her Ex. Husband calling me a Rapist among other things which really upset me as I could only assume that she must have said some awful lies about me for him to say such things to me he also said she was very scared of me. What?

Then he said that a police report had been filed with my info. Well needless to say I was then very upset with the things he accused me of as he had no right to say such things. But what makes it worse is that she is the one that put him up to it and he just thought that he was protecting his ex wife from some horrible man from her past.

Well needless to say she made a report stating that I harassed her for which I don't see it that way at all. I never said anything to scare her or any lies or threats I only stated how I felt and asked her what happened all those years ago, as It has haunted me for almost 16 years not knowing what really happened. Me bringing up the past was apparently to much for her to handle and I did not expect that from her I only wanted to finally try and find out what actually did happen. I felt I deserved to know and it has been a worry for me for a very long time.

The point is this Det. emails me after almost 3 weeks stating that she was informing me of the harassment report that had been filled against me to contact her. Well I did not get the message until like 10-11 pm after her work hours. Well one of her contacts were her email so I responded by email and tried to explain my side of the story and to show that I did not harass her and only asked her some personal questions about our past. That I also on more than one occasion suggested to my Ex that if she did not want to talk to me or here from me that all she had to do is block me on facebook , as it is as simple as clicking a button I even explained to her how to do it.

And this was all before she sent her message saying I was sick and to not message her anymore.

So I ask why she just did not block me from the start rather than blow things way out of proportion and demonize me just to hide from her past and to go and file a complaint against me with the police.

I don't get it unless she just wanted to get back at me for god knows what I guess bringing up the past. Well I got off track the detective responds back this morning ridiculing me for sending in her words a"LENGTHY" email yes the detective even put in bold print the word lengthy, as if I did something wrong by trying to defend my self and sending her copies of some of the messages that were sent back and forth between us.

The detective even told me I was jumping to conclusions that were not true. As if she knows all.. Well I'm sorry but I think she is biased against me and her actions showed that not to mention the Detective is a female on top of it all.

So do you think she would believe a thing I would say? My question is what should I do about this matter as I don't feel comfortable even talking to this detective after her email response back to me. She states that I need to contact her by phone or provide her with my phone number.

Can I just ignore this detective as I don't see that I have done any type of harassment and I did respond by email, for which I got ridiculed for as if I did something wrong by emailing her after hours and trying to explain that I did nothing wrong in my eyes,

and that I also have no intention on contacting my ex ever again after what she has done and shown me what she is capable of as far as lying and her disregard for me in general. What are my options? and sorry for rambling on so long as I'm not good at putting my thoughts down on paper so to speak.. Thank you for any advise.

P.S. I received another email from the Detective telling me that I have until Monday to contact her that no formal charges have been filed. Why am I obligated to even call this Det. even though no charges have been filed. I can pretty much guess that the detective wants to talk to me so she can just say don't message her again for which I have already made that clear to both the detective and the person whom filed the Harassment complaint.

My whole point is that I don't feel like I have done any type of harassment at all by asking my ex personal questions about the past which involved both of us. And I think that what I asked is a legitimate and important question for someone to ask "if they were indeed pregnant back then" And if so what happened I think that is a justifiable question of me to ask that is not harassment, But a serious question.

What are my options here and what entails cyber harassment because every thing I have read so far does not show that I have done anything wrong or harassing. As she asked me to stop writing her then I sent one last message confirming that I would indeed not contact her any farther but she had already reported me by that point.

As her Ex husband sent me an ugly letter stating that I had been reported to the police among some other awful things he accused me of being. She even 2 days prior to that said that she never said we could not be friends in response to a message I sent her stating that I felt like she did not want to talk to me. Then 2 days before that she was telling me how she just dumped her fiance of 4 years. Talking about mixed messages!!! Well any help would be greatly appreciated as far as my options..... Thank you.

Jesus. that is lengthy, I can see why the detective was annoyed. Less is more. give the det a call, don't say anything, no explaining, or gripping, or complaining or conversing no excuses or reasons nothing. short answers yes or no or i dont know,. thats it. confirm you will not contact them again and hang up the phone. then block them from your FB.

I'm not even sure this is going to fit with the character limit. that is always a good indication, that you have said entirely too much.

 

[Troy123]

Thankyou

Thank's for the help. Yeah unfortunately I have a hard time getting my point across when it comes to writing it down. I think it is the ADD. Yes I already blocked her on facebook 3 weeks ago. Something she could not do for some reason though I even suggested it to her. I guess she would rather turn it into what she has. Some people live off of drama and lies. Or she just figured by doing this that it would be better for her to hide the ugly truth from me. What ever that may be. I just think it is sad that she would stoop to such a level just to avoid telling me what happened. Like I said she could have stopped me at any time by blocking me but she chose this route which just tells me that she wanted to find a fool proof way of keeping me from asking about the pregnancy or what ever might have happened. I just don't know why she was not able or willing to talk about it as if I did not deserve to know what happened. The whole matter just makes me sick to be honest and at this point I wish I would have never met her as even 16 years ago things were bad because of her but I won't go there. But thank you for your help.

 

[Banned_Princess]

ok, your just going to have to let it go.

anyway... did you notice any 16 yr old children in her pictures or on her page?

 

[Troy123]

so talk to the detective but dont defend my self?

I honestly don't feel that I have done or said anything that could be considered harassment. So there fore I feel the need to defend my self But you think it best that I should just take the hit and keep my mouth shut and just let the detective say what she want's and be done with it.

But wont that reflect against me as being some type of harasser or stalker not to mention allowing her to get away with her lies at my cost... It just does not seem fair to let her get away with it. Not to mention the lies she told her Ex husband about me which were downright awful and A defamation of my character

If anything I think she is the one that has committed a crime against me not that I would want to try and get her into any legal trouble despite her actions towards me I still do not want to cause her trouble.

It's just the whole moral issue to me that bothers me so to let her get away with turning me into an harasser of some sort because I wanted to know if I might have had a child or find out what ever may have happened. I just do not like being accused of something I did not do . I find it hard to just let her get away with turning me into something I am not.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I honestly don't feel that I have done or said anything that could be considered harassment.

there is a small threshold for harassment. It doesn't matter what you think, it matters what the "victim" perceives to be harassing. harrasment is vage and covers alot of things, I don't think you harassed her, but you could have probably sent one or two less messages.

So there fore I feel the need to defend my self But you think it best that I should just take the hit and keep my mouth shut and just let the detective say what she want's and be done with it.

yes, I can tell you have strong feelings on the matter, but it doesnt matter. let her say what she has to say, and get over it.

But wont that reflect against me as being some type of harasser or stalker not to mention allowing her to get away with her lies at my cost...

no. you have the RIGHT to remain silent, and that is ALWAYS a very good idea. answer yes no i dont know. if you want to be brave, dont be to wordy, and leave out all and any emotional words. (i felt, I think, I want, she did this she did that, it hurt my feelings or pride)

It just does not seem fair to let her get away with it. Not to mention the lies she told her Ex husband about me which were downright awful and A defamation of my character

nothing you can do, shes not "getting away" with anything, people say awful things to eachother, and as long as you were not economically damaged by a real lie, that can be proven that the person who said it KNEW it wasnt true. if they THOUGHT it was true, you have not been defamed.

If anything I think she is the one that has committed a crime against me not that I would want to try and get her into any legal trouble despite her actions towards me I still do not want to cause her trouble.

sure, file a harassment complaint about her and her husband.

It's just the whole moral issue to me that bothers me so to let her get away with turning me into an harasser of some sort because I wanted to know if I might have had a child or find out what ever may have happened.

you wont be turned into a harasser, people are forever claiming other people are harassing them, because that is a vague term. not like assault, which means exactly and litterally that.

no one will know unless you tell them about this. you are going to have to come to terms with you NEVER knowing the answers you seek, and no you dont deserve them, and she cant be made to tell you. .

I just do not like being accused of something I did not do . I find it hard to just let her get away with turning me into something I am not.

I hear you dude, but she isn't turning you into anything, and you aren't being labeled as anything. a detective wants to get you off her desk. A woman wants to be vague and secretive, you want answers.... everybody wants something.

She made a complaint that you were obsessively contacting her after she told you to stop. you say to detective who asks, "I will not contact her again". thats it.


thats it, if she wants anything else, ask if you are going to be charged with anything, and if so, contact an attorney, but I am quite positive that is not going to be the case.

obviously this woman got to you, pressed your buttons, and is now burning you up inside, and she isn't even thinking about you. you should try to not let it get to you like this.

 

[Troy123]

Thanks for the input

Thank's for the input it was thorough though some of what you said was not correct.

First of all I only wrote her once in response to her asking me not to write.
And that was to tell her that I was not going to write her anymore that I could see it was not going anywhere's. So I did not repeatedly contact her after she asked me not to and that can be proven by facebook.

Also I realize that I can not force her to tell me what happened and I wrote her saying that very thing and that was why I was not going to write her anymore as I could see she was not going to be open to me about the matter. I stated t
his to her before she asked me not to write.

And yes she did push my buttons by completely denying several things that happened as if I was a liar or just crazy. And then for her to turn around and accuse me of the things she did also bothered me of course I am human and I have feelings unlike some people tht can just be cold and shut them selves off emotionally.

But the biggest thing is that the comment she made 16 years ago about being pregnant has haunted me for all these years and I did try and find her Along time ago but could not as she married someone about a year or so later that I was not aware of which changed her last name and she moved to another state. Well it was not until recently that I found her fathers facebook page which finally led me to her.

So yes I was desperate to find out what happened after all this time not knowing. It is just that if I did have a child out there I would want to be part of it's life though if so I would have already missed so many years that I could not make up for. The point is she wanted a child back then and I went along with it though it was not a good idea from the start. But yes I do kind of feel like I deserve to know something as we were trying to conceive at the time it's not like it would have been an accident is what I am saying.

But even then I never said you owe me to tell me what happened I just asked her what happened and told her that it meant a lot for me to know what happened. And that it would ease a burden that I have caried with me for several years.

Well I have said far to much already as yes this is a personal matter for me and that can not be helped. But that does not mean that I ever harassed her to try and get any info. But it did get to me emotionally to have her respond in the way she has about the whole matter. Like I said I'm no robot or cold hearted person. But even with all that I did not harass her or continue to contact her.

Well I guess I will just bite the bullet and call this Det. up and let her ream me and tell me that I better not HARASS this POOR terrified VICTIM of a women again. Though I never did and she is in no way scared of me and is a liar at best. So yes this whole matter does disgust me. And to top it all of she gets away with making me look like some sort of harassing stalker to her local police department.

I want to believe in karma but I have seen it fail so many times already. Who knows maybe one day she will feel bad about what she has done but I doubt it. She already claims to be a strong christian and I already let that fool me into thinking she had changed for the better. But no true person of GOD would do the things she has. I would not and I am not a strong christian as I should go to church more than I do my self. But it is things like this that weaken what little faith I have.

Ok, I think I need to go find another forum at this point ,Sorry and thank's for the advice.