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False Claim of Stalking & Physical Assault

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larrylong

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

False written statement given in order to obtain a TRO. Claimed stalking and physical assault and unwanted contact. Case was heard dismissed and vacated. Court transcripts and recordings (pictures, emails, phone records) show the accuser was lying on all accounts (had a voluntarily relationship with accused and wanted to silence the individual since the accuser is married). TRO was only in effect for 5 days. The accused wants to persue a case in special civil for defamation and abuse of process. The accused also wants to obtain a restraining order to prevent the accuser from doing anymore damage to reputation or livelihood. Thoughts?
 


quincy

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

False written statement given in order to obtain a TRO. Claimed stalking and physical assault and unwanted contact. Case was heard dismissed and vacated. Court transcripts and recordings (pictures, emails, phone records) show the accuser was lying on all accounts (had a voluntarily relationship with accused and wanted to silence the individual since the accuser is married). TRO was only in effect for 5 days. The accused wants to persue a case in special civil for defamation and abuse of process. The accused also wants to obtain a restraining order to prevent the accuser from doing anymore damage to reputation or livelihood. Thoughts?
larrylong, you should probably have added this to your other recent thread. It goes over the same issues.

It is hard to support a defamation claim based on what was said in a police complaint. The case was dismissed, as it should have been. What I suggest you do now is what I suggested you do in your other thread - work on getting all records relating to the case expunged. There is information provided in your other thread on expunging records that you can read through.

Then I recommend you cut off all contact with the woman and let time work its magic on the memories of all involved. That is often the best way to repair a reputation that has been damaged.

With that said, and understanding how violated you might feel over the false claims made against you, if you really are intent on pursuing a legal action of your own against this woman - which, by the way, will keep her in your life for far longer than she is apt to be otherwise - consult with an attorney in your area and go over the facts. But I personally do not see any benefit to you in continuing a relationship with the woman. It is not going to repair your reputation and it could harm it more.

Good luck.


larry's other thread, for reference: https://forum.freeadvice.com/hiring-firing-wrongful-termination-5/false-claims-physical-assault-workplace-608460.html
 
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larrylong

Junior Member
larrylong, you should probably have added this to your other recent thread. It goes over the same issues.

It is hard to support a defamation claim based on what was said in a police complaint. The case was dismissed, as it should have been. What I suggest you do now is what I suggested you do in your other thread - work on getting all records relating to the case expunged. There is information provided in your other thread on expunging records that you can read through.

Then I recommend you cut off all contact with the woman and let time work its magic on the memories of all involved. That is often the best way to repair a reputation that has been damaged.

With that said, and understanding how violated you might feel over the false claims made against you, if you really are intent on pursuing a legal action of your own against this woman - which, by the way, will keep her in your life for far longer than she is apt to be otherwise - consult with an attorney in your area and go over the facts. But I personally do not see any benefit to you in continuing a relationship with the woman. It is not going to repair your reputation and it could harm it more.

Good luck.


larry's other thread, for reference: https://forum.freeadvice.com/hiring-firing-wrongful-termination-5/false-claims-physical-assault-workplace-608460.html
I dont want contact. I dont want a relationship. Its sick how this process works. My reputation at my former employer was crushed. My reputation in my community crushed. According to NJ Law, if I would have been found guilty I would have been fingerprinted, entered into a national database, been prevented from obtaining a firearm and possibly loss of my employment. This cant be allowed! I fear she will contact my current employer and do something. She is mentally unstable and narcasistic with some type of victim complex. I feel like obtaining the court transcripts and sending a copy to everyone I know.
 

quincy

Senior Member
I dont want contact. I dont want a relationship. Its sick how this process works. My reputation at my former employer was crushed. My reputation in my community crushed. According to NJ Law, if I would have been found guilty I would have been fingerprinted, entered into a national database, been prevented from obtaining a firearm and possibly loss of my employment. This cant be allowed! I fear she will contact my current employer and do something. She is mentally unstable and narcasistic with some type of victim complex. I feel like obtaining the court transcripts and sending a copy to everyone I know.
I certainly understand your frustration and anger. It seems unfair that someone can smear the reputation of another and "get away with it." But, unfortunately, that is how it is. You can take some comfort, perhaps, in knowing that her reputation has probably fared no better than yours.

Following is a link to Antonio Jenkins v Daryle Young, a 2012 unpublished defamation case out of New Jersey that has some similarities to what you have experienced. You might want to read through it to see how difficult it is to support a defamation claim when the false statements are made in a police complaint: http://law.justia.com/cases/new-jersey/appellate-division-unpublished/2012/a3419-10.html

Again, I think your best action is not a legal one but rather to move on, trying to put the nastiness behind you.

Good luck.
 
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commentator

Senior Member
I would honestly suggest you not only move forward but that you seek some type of counseling for the emotional damage you have experienced here. Because I believe it is skewing your perspective on this incident and causing you to overemphasize the importance of the event. Your whole relationship with your past employer is "crushed." Your standing in the community is "crushed." And you fear this person may contact your present or future employers and crush you there.

You are becoming a little bit unrealistic. She must be stopped! I feel like sending a copy of the court records to everyone I know! This is not making her sound any worse, it's making you sound a little bit off yourself.
You are even unwilling to get off the forum and accept the advice you've been given here. You want to keep digging at it, picking at it, going over it.

And quincy is right, if you want to continue this relationship, be perceived as everything you were accused of being, just keep trying to sue this woman, to retaliate against her, to keep talking on and on and on about this. Get some help, get over this and move on.
 
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larrylong

Junior Member
I would honestly suggest you not only move forward but that you seek some type of counseling for the emotional damage you have experienced here. Because I believe it is skewing your perspective on this incident and causing you to overemphasize the importance of the event. Your whole relationship with your past employer is "crushed." Your standing in the community is "crushed." And you fear this person may contact your present or future employers and crush you there.

You are becoming a little bit unrealistic. She must be stopped! I feel like sending a copy of the court records to everyone I know! This is not making her sound any worse, it's making you sound a little bit off yourself.
You are even unwilling to get off the forum and accept the advice you've been given here. You want to keep digging at it, picking at it, going over it.

And quincy is right, if you want to continue this relationship, be perceived as everything you were accused of being, just keep trying to sue this woman, to retaliate against her, to keep talking on and on and on about this. Get some help, get over this and move on.
Obviously you have never been on the receiving end of false allegations which cost you your career, damaged your livelihood and smeared your name. That's the issue. Its not about being "off", its about the truth and repairing the damage.
 

eerelations

Senior Member
Obviously you have never been on the receiving end of false allegations which cost you your career, damaged your livelihood and smeared your name. That's the issue. Its not about being "off", its about the truth and repairing the damage.
The more you post arguments against the very good advice you've received from experts (some of whom are lawyers with expertise in the area of defamation etc.), here and in your other thread, the more you appear to be someone who needs counselling to get past this experience.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Obviously you have never been on the receiving end of false allegations which cost you your career, damaged your livelihood and smeared your name. That's the issue. Its not about being "off", its about the truth and repairing the damage.
How do you know that any of the members who nicely RESPONDED to your thread have not gone through something like your situation??
 

larrylong

Junior Member
How do you know that any of the members who nicely RESPONDED to your thread have not gone through something like your situation??
I guess the same reason it was suggested that I was "off" and taking this too far. I have and will use the advice given to me in this forum but when it gets personal and suggestions are made about my mental state then the tune changes and is no longer about the law and what can be done to legally to right a wrong. If I was not in the proper mental state I guess I would have taken matters into my own hands and filed false complaints about her or attack her personally in public forums, damage her career, etc....but I did not and will not. I will not abuse a process! Its about truth, right vs. wrong and abusing a system where I was guilty until proven innocent. This record is now attached to my name for life and I am forced to spend my time and money in an attempt to expunge it. Thats the real issue and its not about getting help to fix the emotional damage that has occurred.
 

quincy

Senior Member
... This record is now attached to my name for life and I am forced to spend my time and money in an attempt to expunge it. Thats the real issue and its not about getting help to fix the emotional damage that has occurred.
Expunging the current records that exist on the filed and dismissed complaint and TRO will be easier than attempting to expunge the public court record that will exist if you pursue a defamation lawsuit against the woman.

There was obviously something that happened in your former workplace that led to your separation from the company - and this "something that happened" was something that you never disputed. So that is on you.

In addition, continuing a personal relationship with your former coworker after you left the company - a former coworker whose actions in part led to your departure from the former company - is also on you.

The fact that this former coworker decided to file a false police complaint against you is unfortunate, unfair, irresponsible, irritating, disturbing and all sorts of other negative adjectives - but the false police complaint cannot support a defamation suit and that is the reality of the situation you find yourself in.

What you do now to fix the damage your reputation has suffered is up to you.

You can file a lawsuit because, as you now know from experience, anyone can file anything against anyone else for any reason at all even if there is no basis in fact for it. But the lawsuit will become public, you will expose yourself to greater reputational harm and you will wind up looking as vindictive as the coworker you are complaining about. This cures nothing. In the end, it will take longer for you and your reputation to recover.

If, though, this woman contacts any new employer of yours and tells lies about you, then there might be a legitimate legal action for you to pursue.

There are attorneys in New Jersey who will be happy to sit down with you and discuss the facts of your situation and outline for you your legal, and non-legal, options. I see pursuing your non-legal options as smartest. The attorney you see in your area may feel differently.

Good luck to you, larry.
 
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larrylong

Junior Member
Expunging the current records that exist on the filed and dismissed complaint and TRO will be easier than attempting to expunge the public court record that will exist if you pursue a defamation lawsuit against the woman.

There was obviously something that happened in your former workplace that led to your separation from the company - and this "something that happened" was something that you never disputed. So that is on you.

In addition, continuing a personal relationship with your former coworker after you left the company - a former coworker whose actions in part led to your departure from the former company - is also on you.

The fact that this former coworker decided to file a false police complaint against you is unfortunate, unfair, irresponsible, irritating, disturbing and all sorts of other negative adjectives - but the false police complaint cannot support a defamation suit and that is the reality of the situation you find yourself in.

What you do now to fix the damage your reputation has suffered is up to you.

You can file a lawsuit because, as you now know from experience, anyone can file anything against anyone else for any reason at all even if there is no basis in fact for it. But the lawsuit will become public, you will expose yourself to greater reputational harm and you will wind up looking as vindictive as the coworker you are complaining about. This cures nothing. In the end, it will take longer for you and your reputation to recover.

If, though, this woman contacts any new employer of yours and tells lies about you, then there might be a legitimate legal action for you to pursue.

There are attorneys in New Jersey who will be happy to sit down with you and discuss the facts of your situation and outline for you your legal, and non-legal, options. I see pursuing your non-legal options as smartest. The attorney you see in your area may feel differently.

Good luck to you, larry.
Thank you. A few comments:

There was obviously something that happened in your former workplace that led to your separation from the company - and this "something that happened" was something that you never disputed. So that is on you. I MADE A CHOICE NOT TO DISPUTE IT BECAUSE DOING SO WOULD HAVE RESULTED IN HER LOSING HER JOB. I COVERED FOR HER. IN ADDITION, I DID NOT KNOW UNTIL RECENTLY THAT SHE WAS THE SOURCE AND PLAYED THE VICTIM ALL WHILE CONTINUING TO MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. IN SUMMARY - WAS BLIND AND LOYAL.....ITS IS ON ME.

In addition, continuing a personal relationship with your former coworker after you left the company - a former coworker whose actions in part led to your departure from the former company - is also on you. SEE ABOVE. IN SUMMARY - WAS BLIND AND LOYAL.....ITS IS ON ME.

Thank you for your advice. Makes total sense. Much appreciated.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Thank you. A few comments:

There was obviously something that happened in your former workplace that led to your separation from the company - and this "something that happened" was something that you never disputed. So that is on you. I MADE A CHOICE NOT TO DISPUTE IT BECAUSE DOING SO WOULD HAVE RESULTED IN HER LOSING HER JOB. I COVERED FOR HER. IN ADDITION, I DID NOT KNOW UNTIL RECENTLY THAT SHE WAS THE SOURCE AND PLAYED THE VICTIM ALL WHILE CONTINUING TO MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. IN SUMMARY - WAS BLIND AND LOYAL.....ITS IS ON ME.

In addition, continuing a personal relationship with your former coworker after you left the company - a former coworker whose actions in part led to your departure from the former company - is also on you. SEE ABOVE. IN SUMMARY - WAS BLIND AND LOYAL.....ITS IS ON ME.

Thank you for your advice. Makes total sense. Much appreciated.
The woman obviously did not deserve the sacrifices you made for her benefit. You trusted someone you should not have and that, in itself, can be difficult to accept. Moving forward, though, it would be a shame if you are reluctant to trust in others because this one individual was untrustworthy. I hope it doesn't color your relationships in the future.

Thank you for the thanks, larrylong. I know what I said was not exactly what you wanted to hear but I am happy you are seeing the sense of it.

Good luck.
 

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