Harassment and Defamation of Character of a Minor

[Apaleador]

California

My daughter's (16 yrs) ex-friend and family called us after midnight today
accusing my daughter of going into their house and stealing a blank check,
a handbag, and $12.00 in cash. The aunt said it was my daughter she let
into the house.

The funny thing is is that my daughter was asleep on the couch when all
this was supposed to have occurred. They wanted to talk to me to confirm
that she was home. I told them she was and that her grandparents were
also there. Then they drove over to our house so we went out to see them
and they started accusing my daughter about the theft saying she was the
one, but I know for a fact that she was home all day so I was confused on
why they would say what they were saying. I asked them to leave and if
they kept this up we would press harassment and defamation charges on
them.

They got angry and went to the police who called me and I gave them what
I knew and then they talked with my daughter. I told the officer that I was
worried about my daughters safety when school started. So he offered to
serve them notices that they can't call or come onto the property or talk to
us. He also suggested that we get restraining orders on them.

But we can't press harassment charges or defamation of a minor cause no
one was around to witness the altercation but ourselves, so it is a case of
he said/she said. Is this true? We can't press charges?

Thank You

 

[quincy]

Well, what the police officer told you is not entirely true, but close enough.

You really have no defamation action against the aunt or family for reporting your daughter to the police. That doesn't prevent you from suing anyway and then losing the suit, however.

You could file an harassment complaint with the police, although if this is the first incident between your daughter and this family it generally would not be considered harassment (which requires repeated unwanted and unwarranted acts). And you could potentially get a restraining order against this family, if a court decides the facts support such an order.

Perhaps the police notification to the family to leave all of you alone will be sufficient to take care of the matter.

 

[Apaleador]

Thanks for the quick reply.

I spent 5 hrs reading the posts here on the forum and came to the conclusion
that that would be the case.

The Officer called and informed me that the accusers are filing restraining orders
against my daughter and I. Funny, we didn't do anything. No threats, no
arguments, no phone calls or anything. And we get restraining orders.

As for us getting restraining orders against them, well..., that would be moot.

Since we don't plan being around them (we never were since my daughter
stopped being friends with her 5 months ago).

But, I do have one question. Does this restraining order go on our record?
I mean is it a bad thing like a misdemeanor or felony which might hurt my
chances for advancement at work?

OK, 2 questions.

 

[quincy]

Restraining orders are court orders and are part of the public records available for review and copying by the public, although some information may be redacted from the disclosed records (ie. a victim's name).

A violation of a restraining order is a criminal offense and can result in jail time. The (generally) misdemeanor violation would become part of one's criminal history, available to the public and revealed to employers on a background check. A misdemeanor on one's record can hurt school, employment and loan opportunities, and lead to some restrictions on travel (ie. to Canada).

If a restraining order is issued against your daughter and/or your family on an emergency basis, you will be notified of the order against you. You will have the opportunity to argue against the order at a court hearing that will be scheduled within about two weeks of the ex parte hearing.

An attorney in your area can best advise you on the benefits of fighting the issuance of an order against you and/or the benefits of arguing for the issuance of a mutual restraining order, whereby no one in either of the families is to have any sort of contact with anyone. A mutual order is preferable to one being issued solely against you.

 

[Apaleador]

I understand.

It's just that when I hear "restraining order" I think of violence, abuse,
assault, etc. And I don't want people or my employers (if they happen
to hear about it) to think I fall into one or more of these qualities.

We didn't do anything to warrant any restraining orders.

The officer spoke to me first of the restraining orders and according to
him he had to be fair and offer them the same information.

I'm just upset that my daughter has to go through this when she has
done nothing wrong. If she wasn't home all day and this came up, of
course I would question her about it, but she was home. She slept until
1.30pm and then worked on her computer while watching TV with her
grandfather.

I am still at a loss as to why after 5 months this comes up out of the
blue.

Your advice is appreciated and duly noted. I will talk with an attorney
and find out the pros and cons and decide what to do.

Thank You

 

[quincy]

The type of restraining order that would be issued by a court (should one even be issued) would be a civil harassment order, which differs from a personal protection order. Personal protection orders protect against real or threatened physical violence while civil harassment orders protect from harassing conduct that falls far short of physical violence.

If you and/or your daughter did nothing to warrant the issuance of an order, you will want to present all evidence of that fact when you appear in court. Again, the attorney you speak with can advise you on all of this.

Most civil harassment restraining orders have a short life (3 to 6 months), and they will expire on their own if not extended by the party who petitioned the court for the order and/or if there has been no violation of the order when in place. They are issued primarily to prevent any escalation of a dispute. Generally the 3 to 6 month time period is enough for all tempers to cool and reasonable heads to prevail.

Good luck.

 

[Apaleador]

I don't know what evidence I could present. This all happened within 3 hrs.

They called my daughter & made accusation, my daughter gave me the phone
to give verification that she was home (to the parent making the accusation),
they said they were coming over so aunt could see her to be sure identity
of my daughter wasn't mistaken.

When they arrived they confirmed it was her. I said no it wasn't because
she was home all day. They threatened to go to the police and I said sure
go ahead. After they left I called the police and was told an officer would
call me back (which they did). I told him our side of the story and he
relayed what they were saying (they were at the police station). Advised
us what we could do, that he thinks it's one teenager accusing another
because they aren't friends anymore, end of problem.

So I'm not sure out of all this what I could use as evidence in court. Except
maybe the police report when I talked to the officer.

 

[quincy]

Your testimony should be sufficient, if that is all the evidence you have to support your contention that your daughter was not responsible for any theft. Having the police report can also help.

If the other family has nothing to back up their suspicions/accusations that your daughter stole from their house, then there really is no action that can be pursued successfully by them against your daughter. It is, as the police officer told you, one person's word against another's.

The fact that the police officer said he believes the whole matter is simply the result of a teenage friendship that soured can be an important observation and can be noted in court.

When you and your daughter appear in court, it will be VERY important for both of you to remain calm, cool and reasonable. Do NOT verbally attack the other family in any way, regardless of lies told or accusations made. Address the judge ONLY. There should be no direct conversations between your family and the other family. Any sign in court that the families cannot behave in a civil fashion when together will weigh heavily in favor of a restraining order being issued against one or both of the families.

Again, consult with an attorney in your area and follow his advice.

Good luck.

 

[Apaleador]

When you and your daughter appear in court, it will be VERY important for both of you to remain calm, cool and reasonable. Do NOT verbally attack the other family in any way, regardless of lies told or accusations made. Address the judge ONLY. There should be no direct conversations between your family and the other family. Any sign in court that the families cannot behave in a civil fashion when together will weigh heavily in favor of a restraining order being issued against one or both of the families.

Now that's funny. I just gave pretty much the same advice to a tenant in the
landlord/tenant issues section. Not legal advice just some common sense.

Thank you quincy for your time.

When everything is said and done, I'll report back on the outcome in court.
If there is a court date.

 

[quincy]

I guess we both have common sense, then, which is quite the coincidence since it is something that is not all that common.

It would be nice if you can report back with what happens, Apaleador. I am always curious to know what comes from the situations posted here.

Good luck.

 

[Apaleador]

Well, so far no notice of restraining order came in the mail. Here's hoping she
changed her mind.

 

[quincy]

There is a good chance she has dropped the matter - she may have discovered that she does not have enough evidence to support such an order or decided it is not worth the time and effort it takes to obtain one.

I will hope along with you that that is the case.