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Issue with gossip and my supervisor

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gkh1985

Junior Member
I live in MA and work for a non profit healthcare organization. I am here from England and am unfamiliar with what support is available here in the U.S. I am employed as a group home manager within my company and was transferred from one program to another earlier this year. When a new manager was found for my former program, I was assigned to train her and familiarize her with her new role. I transitioned out in early April. I attend regular meetings within our 'cluster' of managers so see this colleague on a regular basis. I have also become friends with her (as has my wife with her and her boyfriend) Speculation and gossip began to arise that me and my colleague were in a relationship. I am used to gossip in this setting and generally ignore it, however, it appears that my supervisor is feeding in to it. She has banned me and my colleague from having any interaction within our general working day (we do work at separate locations approximately 100 yards apart) but do have to attend some meetings together as well as go to the companies main office for similar duties. My supervisor has presented me with a supervision which accuses me of being in a relationship with my colleague and is refusing to change it as she has supposedly been informed by other employees that me and my coworker are in fact in a relationship. What do I do? this gossip is getting back to my wife which is putting a strain on my home life and the constant gossip combined with accusatory demeanor of my supervisor is making my work life uncomfortable.

Any advice on how i proceed would be much appreciated.
 


justalayman

Senior Member
what do you do?

You comply with your supervisor's directives.


while you say your supervisor is playing into the rumor, are you sure they are not separating you so as to give people fewer things to gossip about?



I really don't know what you are looking for or expecting though. Could it be that something about your mannerisms (after all, you are from England and while there are a lot of similarities between our societies, there are also some very different mannerisms) that people are misinterpreting as your friendship as more than just a friendship?
 

quincy

Senior Member
... I have also become friends with her (as has my wife with her and her boyfriend) Speculation and gossip began to arise that me and my colleague were in a relationship ... it appears that my supervisor is feeding in to it. She has banned me and my colleague from having any interaction within our general working day ... My supervisor has presented me with a supervision which accuses me of being in a relationship with my colleague and is refusing to change it as she has supposedly been informed by other employees that me and my coworker are in fact in a relationship. What do I do? this gossip is getting back to my wife which is putting a strain on my home life and the constant gossip combined with accusatory demeanor of my supervisor is making my work life uncomfortable.

Any advice on how i proceed would be much appreciated.
If the gossip is widespread in your workplace, it would be difficult to show that the supervisor's action in keeping you and your colleague apart is unreasonable, even though the separation of you and your colleague is an action taken based on a falsehood communicated about you.

It does, however, appear that your reputation has been affected both in your workplace and at home. My first instinct would be to go to the supervisor, explain as you have here the TRUE relationship you AND your wife have with your colleague AND her boyfriend, and say to your supervisor that the rumors being circulated about you are slanderous. I would give your supervisor the chance to mitigate the harm in whatever way s/he can.

Slander suits are difficult and expensive to pursue and they are generally most successful in Massachusetts when there is proof of economic harm (loss of a promotion, loss of wages, loss of a job) in addition to the harm to your reputation.

In your described situation, you have not been affected monetarily. Your supervisor may believe the lies that have been told, but you have not been fired. In addition, the person who started the rumor is probably difficult to identify. S/he would be the primary target of any suit - although anyone who repeated the defamatory statements could technically be named in a legal action, as well.

There is a 3 year statute of limitations in Massachusetts for defamation claims (the time within which you must file a suit), so you have some time to see if things get better or worse in your workplace. Sometimes ignoring the gossip helps it die. If things get worse, however, you can speak with an attorney in your area for a discussion of legal options, including an action for slander.

Good luck, gkh.
 
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