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Is there anything i can do?

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Scrappy42

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
My sons girlfriend's mom does not like me at all, and we have had a few situations in the recent past where our opinions clashed. (please read "Moving out at 17.." in the juvenile section - and yes i sent her home.) After the GF's father came from 300 miles away and got her, i thought everything was water under the bridge. BIG MISTAKE. It was about a month later and i was pulled in to the office of an organization i volunteer for. (I will use generalizations here as to not identify myself to anyone that is involved with this) The GF's mother walked in and told my "leader" that i had "unnatural affections towards her daughter" which is completely out in left field as to my involvement with her. Even though this is an untrue statement, it ruined my current reputation, i lost my rank, and feel as if people that USED to be my friends think poorly of me. On top of that, i learned that her "talk" actually caused my "leader" to attempt to have me brought up on charges of harboring a runaway. I know the PA personally and recently found this bit of information out. All this time i thought it was the mom and her lawyer that was trying to have me arrested, but it was my "leader". According to the PA, she refused to press charges. Here's the twist. The mom is best friends with this lawyer and she USED to be the PA. She is also good friends with my so called leader who also has power with in our city and is good friends with our Sheriff. I get a call from my leader and he tells me that i am about to be arrested by the Sheriff if i allow this 17 y/o back on my property (ya, i know, it makes no sense why he would tip me off, but he did). I didnt let her come back, and called her dad to come and pick her up. Her comment cost me my reputation, cost me a yearly check of about 2K, and also cost me moving expenses as we felt the need to move farther away from this woman who we had to drive by every time we leave our house. I am just sick over how bruised and battered my reputation is after all this, not to mention that 2K check was my way of providing Christmas for my kids. I feel she told MANY lies to very influential city officials and as we moved a few days ago, SHE FOLLOWED US so now she knows where we moved to. Is there ANY THING I CAN DO?
 


justalayman

Senior Member
Not sure how this "leader" would be in any standing to press charges for harboring a runaway. That is a decision for the DA and unless the parents of the runaway make a claim that the child is a runaway, there is no runaway to be harboring.


as to what you can do?

you could sue the GF's mother for slander. Plan on spending a whole lot more money than you would win, if you actually do win.

If her actions are consistent and escalate to some sort of threat, contact the police regarding a stalker.

Other than that, not much for you to do.

How did this cost you $2k annually. You state you are a volunteer and volunteers don't get paid. That's why they call them volunteers.
 

Scrappy42

Junior Member
I am a volunteer firefighter and am paid per call. It was my Chief that made the call to the PA requesting she charge me. Up until that point, the child was in my home with BOTH parents permission. One day the mom decided she didnt want her there. I didnt do anything to cause her to flip, she did and did not even give me a reach around. She went straight to her lawyer. This lawyer then called her very good friend the fire chief, who then called the PA. The PA refused to charge me, so he called his buddy the Sheriff. The rest is how i stated in the above post. I strongly believe that this was just a string of favors called in around town to bypass the correct way of going about this situation, and i not only got burned but ended up getting into it with my chief over this and other unrelated issues and lost my lieutenant bars when i resigned for 3 days. Now, i am afraid to run any calls cause i am afraid i am going to become an easy target for blame if something goes wrong on a scene. All this happened because of the mom said a bunch of things that were untrue.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Scrappy, your morals have been called into question, you have suffered an economic loss and a demotion, your reputation has taken a battering in the eyes of your friends and in your community, and you changed your family's residence to avoid this woman.

If you have not contacted an attorney already, I strongly suggest you do so.

Justalayman is absolutely correct that defamation actions are expensive to pursue. They can also take a lot of time to work their way through the court system, which adds to the expense. And there is never a guarantee a defamation lawsuit will be won. But the purpose of a defamation suit is to compensate a person for the reputational injury and the economic losses that have resulted from defamatory statements made about the person and published to others.

It appears to me, from what you have posted here, that the slanderous statements made by the mother of the 17 year old to the fire chief have seriously affected your reputation, your livelihood, and your life in your community. For these reasons, it would be worthwhile for you to discuss all of the facts of your situation with an attorney in your area, and discuss with the attorney the pros and cons of filing a slander suit against this woman.

For a slander action in Missouri, you need to show that a defamatory statement was made about you to others, and you must show special damages. Special damages can include economic losses (such as the $2000 loss in income that came with your demotion), your moving expenses (if the move can be shown as a necessary and direct result of the defamation), claims of mental anguish and emotional distress, and reputational harm in your profession (loss of job or income) and in your community (shunning, ridicule, hatred).

These damages can be supported through direct evidence and through witness testimony.

In Missouri you have two years from the date of the first "publication" of a defamatory statement to file a defamation lawsuit. The two years allows you time to discuss the situation thoroughly with an attorney, assess the injury to your reputation as it relates to your relationships with others in the community and to your current employment and future employment opportunities, and the two years gives you time to see how the situation plays out with the fire chief and the sheriff and the possible "harboring a runaway" charge (should such a charge ever materialize).

In the meantime, ask your attorney about filing an harassment complaint against the mother of the 17 year old (I recommend if you file one, it is with the state police and not the local sheriff ;)). And ask the attorney about petitioning the court for an injunction. An injunction, if issued by the court, can prevent the woman from coming into contact with you (either personally or through correspondence of any kind).

Good luck.
 
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