12 years of no contact

Please help. My ex husband thinks he may want to see the kids after 12 years of no contact and no child support. My new husband has been my kids father for 9 years and wants to adopt them. My ex has only said this because we have found him and are going through adoption proceedures. Does anyone know the abandonment laws for Illinois? I have been trying to find info and my attorney is slow to answer. Can my ex really come back and have rights? It will destroy my kids. They are 14 and 15. Please help me.

I honestly don't know the law but from what I have heard, after two years of no contact, he loses his rights. I know my brother was going to adopt his wife's child but not long before, the dad started coming around after years. Otherwise, they would have had no trouble. I think if you want to go through with the adoption, you should talk to your lawyer, go to court, and have it done. Then decide if you want to let him see the kids. After 12 years though, I don't think he deserves it. And you have to protect the kids from him popping in and out of their lives. What do the kids feel about it? Anyway, just an opinion. You should talk to the lawyer before doing anything.

Thank you so much. I don't really think he can see them. The kids want nothing to do with him. They have no pictures of him or anything! Don't know what he looks like and even his family never saw the kids! They have been gone all that time too. No cards on birthdays or anything. Its very sad. I just don't know about the abandonment law.

In Indiana, it's one year with no contact and no support.

Check with a lawyer in your state.

[tigger22472]

Dorene,

Does that apply only for adoption or does it simply apply to end rights? My ex hasn't had contact with the children since June and Sept. with me. The only support I got was from the state getting it ending in Oct. after 4 weeks. We go to court in April for support(the state is taking him). If I don't show then they won't pursue. Since support hasn't been an issue with me I'm wondering if I just hold out I can file to get his rights.

The poster was asking about adoption.

You're asking about visitation.

Your ex can choose to exercise visitation or not. He doesn't lose his rights to visit by not exercising them as frequently as he could.

He could lose the rights to visit if you were to show to the court that it was a danger to have him see the kids.

But you have to go to court to modify those visitation rights and cannot unilaterally withhold them (exercise "self-help"), as I'm sure you're aware, being a frequent visitor to the Website.

Have a great weekend!

[tigger22472]

Ok.. ty.. just thought maybe it was a shot....There has been NO contact at all since September and that was one email so I was just hoping but oh well...