18yr. old son w/17yr. old girlfriend practically living w/me.

[sharon36]

What is the name of your state? Pa. My 18 yr. old son still lives at home and his 17 year old girlfriend stays at our home more than her own. They had a baby a month and a half ago. Since the beginning of her pregnancy, we've had nothing but problems w/her family. We've put up w/harrassing and threatening phone calls from her parents and sister. The poor girl was even afraid to eat because her mother threatened her w/the day after pill and she was afraid her mother would crush it up in her food. Her mother would go into her room @ 4 in the morning,(on a school night) dump all of her clothes out from her dresser drawers and tell her to pick them up, fold them and put them away. Her mother even went as far and to blame her for making her crazy and wanting to kill herself if she didn't have an abortion. They even refused medical care for her unless she'd considered an abortion..her mother took her to see a film about it. She was taken to a Doctor finally after a conversation w/her father out of concern for her well-being. They are constantly putting my son down and don't think he's good enough for her. Now, her parents are telling him that if he doesn't do what they want or if they don't like something he says or does or even if she doesn't do what they want, they're threatening him w/charging my son w/rape and taking the baby so he never sees him again... Can they do this? She wants to stay here and finish going to school {she's in 11th grade this year}. My son works, her both parents work, and I' d be the one taking care of the baby during the day. Is there anyway possible I can help them?

[quote=sharon36]What is the name of your state? Pa. My 18 yr. old son still lives at home and his 17 year old girlfriend stays at our home more than her own. They had a baby a month and a half ago. Since the beginning of her pregnancy, we've had nothing but problems w/her family. We've put up w/harrassing and threatening phone calls from her parents and sister. The poor girl was even afraid to eat because her mother threatened her w/the day after pill and she was afraid her mother would crush it up in her food. Her mother would go into her room @ 4 in the morning,(on a school night) dump all of her clothes out from her dresser drawers and tell her to pick them up, fold them and put them away. Her mother even went as far and to blame her for making her crazy and wanting to kill herself if she didn't have an abortion. They even refused medical care for her unless she'd considered an abortion..her mother took her to see a film about it. She was taken to a Doctor finally after a conversation w/her father out of concern for her well-being. They are constantly putting my son down and don't think he's good enough for her. Now, her parents are telling him that if he doesn't do what they want or if they don't like something he says or does or even if she doesn't do what they want, they're threatening him w/charging my son w/rape and taking the baby so he never sees him again... Can they do this? She wants to stay here and finish going to school {she's in 11th grade this year}. My son works, her both parents work, and I' d be the one taking care of the baby during the day. Is there anyway possible I can help them?[/QUOTE]

You ARE helping them by taking care of the baby during the day while GF is at school and son is working.

Next question!!!

[Neal1421]

Originally Posted by sharon36

What is the name of your state? Pa. My 18 yr. old son still lives at home and his 17 year old girlfriend stays at our home more than her own. They had a baby a month and a half ago. Since the beginning of her pregnancy, we've had nothing but problems w/her family. We've put up w/harrassing and threatening phone calls from her parents and sister. The poor girl was even afraid to eat because her mother threatened her w/the day after pill and she was afraid her mother would crush it up in her food. Her mother would go into her room @ 4 in the morning,(on a school night) dump all of her clothes out from her dresser drawers and tell her to pick them up, fold them and put them away. Her mother even went as far and to blame her for making her crazy and wanting to kill herself if she didn't have an abortion. They even refused medical care for her unless she'd considered an abortion..her mother took her to see a film about it. She was taken to a Doctor finally after a conversation w/her father out of concern for her well-being. They are constantly putting my son down and don't think he's good enough for her. Now, her parents are telling him that if he doesn't do what they want or if they don't like something he says or does or even if she doesn't do what they want, they're threatening him w/charging my son w/rape and taking the baby so he never sees him again... Can they do this? She wants to stay here and finish going to school {she's in 11th grade this year}. My son works, her both parents work, and I' d be the one taking care of the baby during the day. Is there anyway possible I can help them?

The age of consent in PA is 16, so unless they have proof that your son and their daughter were having sex before she turned 16 the answer to your question is no. They cannot charge your son with rape.

[Silverplum]

I always find it so distasteful when "parents" allow their minor children to have sex at home and move the bf/gf in. Really loathesome behavior, IMHO.

[fairisfair]

"Raising the age of the minor who is subject to protection by the law. North Carolina and Pennsylvania raised the age of the minor—up to 16 years—who is subject to protection under the criminal unlawful sex laws. North Carolina did so as part of amendments that created different offenses based on the age of the minor and the age gap between the minor and the defendant. Under the new statute, sex with 13- to 15-year-olds is now a crime.


Age gaps. Along with raising the age of the minor, North Carolina and Pennsylvania also imposed age gaps. If the minor is above a certain age, a crime is committed only if the defendant is a specified number of years older than the minor (5 years in North Carolina and 4 years in Pennsylvania)."

based on this information, it appears that a 17 year old girl is above the age of a minor subject to protection under pa state law. So it does not appear that your son could be charged with statutory rape, unless this was happening before she turned 16 years old.

Her parents, like you, will have no rights to this child, your son however does have rights and you should be moving to protect those rights, he will need to establish paternity and file for custody and visitation rights, he will also get the right to pay child support.

As for any type of custody of the 17 year old gf, that isn't going to happen, not unless her parents agree, it does not appear that she is a candidate for emancipation.

[sharon36]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

I always find it so distasteful when "parents" allow their minor children to have sex at home and move the bf/gf in. Really loathesome behavior, IMHO.

I happen to agree w/that! But, this wasn't the case here. You can lecture and sit down and have as many long talks w/your kids as much as you want. Once your children leave your sight or home, you can't know everything they're doing! If they really want to do something, they're going to do it no matter what, they'll find a way....

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by sharon36

I happen to agree w/that! But, this wasn't the case here. You can lecture and sit down and have as many long talks w/your kids as much as you want. Once your children leave your sight or home, you can't know everything they're doing! If they really want to do something, they're going to do it no matter what, they'll find a way....

so, if they might do drugs, would you give them to them?? How about if they might drive drunk, would you buy them beer? Heck, they might fail school, may as well have them drop out now. that is the biggest parental cop out in the world. I was really trying to help you anyway, over it now.

[Silverplum]

Originally Posted by sharon36

I happen to agree w/that! But, this wasn't the case here. You can lecture and sit down and have as many long talks w/your kids as much as you want. Once your children leave your sight or home, you can't know everything they're doing! If they really want to do something, they're going to do it no matter what, they'll find a way....

Not in MY house, they're not. I mean it.

And my kids are grown, so I know how they turned out already. It involved ever-so-slightly more than long talks and/or lectures.

[AHA]

My mom never had "the talk" with me, but I was still intelligent enough and NOT stupid enough to go out and have unprotected sex and get myself knocked up looooooooong before I was ready, so I don't buy any lame excuses (from parents). Stop treating your kids like little babies and maybe they won't go out and act like they can do whatever they want without any kind of consequences.