$50000 have receipts and proof now what

[gmazgmaz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

I moved in with my boyfriend the end of November 2008. He owns a home that was a complete remodel, meaning every room. Starting in August 2008 I began paying for things to get done. I loaned him $10000 initially, thought we were committed and we opened joint accounts and I added him onto my credit card.

Since then he has used over $50000 to update his house, it was our house according to him even though my name is not on the home. He has a beautiful over $25000 kitchen, $10000 that he initially borrowed and charges in the 25-35000 range on my credit card. Promises to build my account back up have gone undone as they have continued to go down dramatically.

Now that things are done in the house he is all of a sudden not sure that our relationship is worth it. How do I get my money back? He has a 401K with almost $40000 but that would only take care of about half once the penalties and taxes are taken care of.

Yes, I do now feel like a completely used idiot with this man.

Please help. Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

I moved in with my boyfriend the end of November 2008. He owns a home that was a complete remodel, meaning every room. Starting in August 2008 I began paying for things to get done. I loaned him $10000 initially, thought we were committed and we opened joint accounts and I added him onto my credit card.

Since then he has used over $50000 to update his house, it was our house according to him even though my name is not on the home. He has a beautiful over $25000 kitchen, $10000 that he initially borrowed and charges in the 25-35000 range on my credit card. Promises to build my account back up have gone undone as they have continued to go down dramatically.

Now that things are done in the house he is all of a sudden not sure that our relationship is worth it. How do I get my money back? He has a 401K with almost $40000 but that would only take care of about half once the penalties and taxes are taken care of.

Yes, I do now feel like a completely used idiot with this man.

Please help. Thanks.

You need a consult with a local attorney. This is not a family law issue because you are not married to him. This is a civil matter. I know of several cases where people in your position were able to prevail on some damages...so please get a consult with a local attorney.

And, for the benefit of anyone reading this thread who is contemplating doing similar things, think again. Its one thing to put some sweat equity into a significant other's home...or paying for minor repairs...that's kind of in lieu of paying rent. However, when it comes down to putting serious cash or credit into a significant other's home, then you are likely making a huge mistake.

 

[CourtClerk]

Yes, I do now feel like a completely used idiot with this man.

Don't feel like a used idiot, he didn't do anything to you, you didn't allow to be done. Next time, keep your money in your pocket. Committment is spelled M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E. Anything outside of that just means you gave it away... in your case, for $50000.

 

[MominCarolina]

Was there every a promissory note signed by him? I am assuming not.

You could take this to court, and most attorneys will charge 33% of the judgment if you win. If you don't win, you are still out the attorneys fees.

His argument could be that you gave him all of this as a gift, and the burden of proof is on you to prove otherwise. Do you have any proof at all that these purchases were not "gifts"?