74 year old mother-in-law wants to get married

[JustTrip]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
GEORGIA, USA

My 74 year-old mother-in-law wants to 'be with' a nice man she has been dating.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of them having a legal marriage over them simply moving in together and sharing their lives and expenses?

In case of sickness, death, breakup, etc..., which marital status would benefit them the most?

Not knowing much about this kind of thing, we think it would be prudent for them to move in together as singles. If it doesn't work out, they can simply part.

Their relationship is a happy one, mutually satisfying and stable, as far as any of us knows. Neither of them has a lot of money or assets. They have homes and cars. They are upper middle-class older folks, having to be frugal to survive.

None of us consider this issue to be one of morality - just one of pragmatics.

We'd appreciate any advice on whether or not legal marriage would be a benefit for them, and us, or not.

Thanks.
Trip

 

[Proserpina]

Let your mother-in-law do what she wants to do.

It's really none of your business.

 

[stealth2]

I agree with Pro.

After many years as a widow (40+), my grandmother met a wonderful gentleman. To this day, I remember when he approached my Dad abut marrying her. He said that they were both very fond of one another, and wanted to spend what time they had left in each other's company. She was fine with simply living together, but he felt it would be insulting to her as a lady to not make it legal and asked my Dad's permission to marry his mother.

Now *there* was a class act. (HIS family was another story.)

They had maybe 5 years together, and we continued visiting him until he passed. He was a good man. And while he may not have been bio family? He WAS my Grandpa.

Let your MIL do as she likes.

 

[Proserpina]

I agree with Pro.

After many years as a widow (40+), my grandmother met a wonderful gentleman. To this day, I remember when he approached my Dad abut marrying her. He said that they were both very fond of one another, and wanted to spend what time they had left in each other's company. She was fine with simply living together, but he felt it would be insulting to her as a lady to not make it legal and asked my Dad's permission to marry his mother.

Now *there* was a class act. (HIS family was another story.)

They had maybe 5 years together, and we continued visiting him until he passed. He was a good man. And while he may not have been bio family? He WAS my Grandpa.

Let your MIL do as she likes.

I'm going to get some tissues. That was lovely, stealth.

 

[JustTrip]

Thanks for the responses.

We're not so much interested in making their decision our business.

My mother-in-law asked me to research this for her. The question is hers.

Any advice related to the original query would be appreciated.

-Trip ♥

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the responses.

We're not so much interested in making their decision our business.

My mother-in-law asked me to research this for her. The question is hers.

Any advice related to the original query would be appreciated.

-Trip ♥

She shouldn't be relying on information relayed third hand from an internet forum. If nothing else, it's useless because we don't know all the circumstances.

What she really needs to do is get with a good estate attorney and lay out everything - and discuss the options in detail.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the responses.

We're not so much interested in making their decision our business.

My mother-in-law asked me to research this for her. The question is hers.

Any advice related to the original query would be appreciated.

-Trip ♥

Pragmatically, unless either of them has a source of income that would dry up or reduce if they married, it shouldn't matter too much whether they marry or not, from that standpoint. That could certainly be researched based on their specific sources of income.

As far as their assets are concerned, I will ditto what Misto said, they both should consult an estate attorney.

 

[FlyingRon]

LIDJ gave the right answer. Frankly, since coupling up being with or without a marriage is a major life event, it would probably behoove them to talk to an elder law attorney about their comprehensive situation regarding:

1. Jeopardy of losing certain benefits from pensions and other programs
2. How to deal with real property that they both own if they intend to only live in one.
3. Medicare issues
4. Advance medical directives (Living Will), Health care and general POA in case one or the other or both becomes incapacitated.
5. Estate issues (but please put this down low on the list). Children should not and should not appear to be trying to greedily preserve their parents estate for their own personal benefit.

 

[JustTrip]

Good suggestions

Thanks for the serious suggestions. Y'all are right. They do need to consult an attorney about it.

We're researching their social security situation right now, and it looks like, if they they get married, at least one of them stands to be reimbursed at a lower rate.

FlyingRon, your itemized list is a good starting point for consulting a lawyer.

Thank y'all so much for your thoughtful advice.

-Trip

 

[Mass_Shyster]

This is a video by a law professor on the benefits of marriage.

YouTube - The Benefits of Marriage

 

[JustTrip]

Thanks, Stevef

This is a video by a law professor on the benefits of marriage.

YouTube - The Benefits of Marriage

Yeah, thanks Stevef for that video!

It touches on the subjects that we're interested in.

'That piece of paper does matter.'

-Trip