abandoned by husband

[anfran43]

What is the name of your state? wisconsin

I need to know what one does in the following circumstance. My husband took off without warning, leaving his job, the house, our family - everything. Since he was the soul provider for our family, we currently have no income. I can keep up our monthly bills for a while by using our savings, but can I sell the home to prevent forclosure without his being present? What would be my first step. Can I divorce him without his being present? Can he come back at a future time and have a say in what I decided to do?

 

[nextwife]

First, is the property JOINTLY owned by you and he? My answer is partially presuming that is the case.

Hopefully, you made sure you had some job skills to fall back on, as even the most wonderful and supportive of spouses can become ill, disabled, or die, leaving the other financially reponsible.

You should strongly consider getting out there and working, rather than ONLY exhausting your savings. Once savings is gone,you will need to be working anyway. May as well start now. I'm a mom who has had to work since my kid was two, and it's do-able.

As to being able to sell the house now, NO, he still has an interest that cannot be conveyed without some court action. A buyer, and buyer's lender, will require a FULL transfer of all prior interests in the real estate, and, right now, you cannot do that.

Speak to an attorney. You will need to file for divorce and child support (even though you do not know where he is) I would ask the attorney if it's a problem if you were to close and reopen those joint accounts in your name only so he doesn't drain them from parts unknown.

As to his interest in the house, the divorce could potentially grant you full title. A "quiet title action" can also remove his name from the property - freeing you to sell it. I am certain you will need, in either case, to prove all efforts to locate him have failed and what those methods were. Your attorney can advise you what the "publishing" and other legal requirements are for such actions.

The sooner you start, the sooner you can accomplish it. Don't allow yourself to fall into default. LIkely the house is your best asset.

 

[nextwife]

BTW, are you CERTAIN he "took off" and that some harm did not come to him? Have you reported him missing?

 

[VeronicaGia]

BTW, are you CERTAIN he "took off" and that some harm did not come to him? Have you reported him missing?

My thoughts exactly. Maybe just wishful thinking on OP part.

 

[nextwife]

VG -

if it were my DH, I'd be out there with every resource I could get my hands on to find him. And if someone else hadn't already killed him, I'd be inclined to want to do so myself!!!!!!!

In suppose if he pulled 10K out of the bank, and his passport, birth certificate and special stuff from the house were also missing, one might presume he took off.

 

[anfran43]

No Harm Has Come (Yet)

At first when he disappeared I was afraid something horrible had happened to him. He was missing for 10 days (yes the police were immediately notified) before I realized what he had done. I'm certain he has not come to any harm. He was using the ATM and credit cards until I closed the accounts. I am capable of supporting myself and my children (although not in the current style) I've gone back to work already because we need to have the medical insurance. Being able to keep up the mortgage on our current home is out of the question. My main concern is do I have to finalize a divorce before I can get rid of the mortgage.

 

[VeronicaGia]

You didn't answer nextwife's questions regarding how the house is titled, mortgaged, etc. However, likely you will have to file for divorce and try to get him served and get a court date prior to being able to do anything.

You need an attorney.

 

[nextwife]

Presuming he owns JOINTLY:

You cannot convey full title until some court action grants it to you. He has a legal interest which you, alone, are unable to convey. You need to get a court action started. Talk to an attorney. I am in WI, I KNOW real estate, and you can't sign off his interest. Thus you can't sell until your court action is complete.

A practical suggestion, until that time, is to consider a responsible roomate or grad student rooming there. I live a few blocks from a small Catholic University, and if I were in your position, I'd be over there in a minute posting "room available" notices, rather than uprooting my kids. A background check, criminal history, etc can be run cheaply on the internet AND if it is in YOUR home and you are residing there, you are legally entitled to specify gender. You can also establish "house rules" about guys overnight, smoking, drugs, etc. And require she have her own phone number,or use a cel, so you don't get stuck with a large long distance bill. I did that and got some great rommates who were very responsible, but didn't want an apartment and to furnish a whole place. If they wanted to be with a boyfriend overnight, the house rule was that they go there. An extra $300 or so a month might help.

 

[VeronicaGia]

which brings up another concern: our poster closed the bank accounts whereby her STBX had access (hence the ATM card). This could be a problem too, as well as the credit cards that the poster closed.

 

[coosi]

http://www.divorcenet.com/dictionary.html

Agreement; Separation Agreement; Property Settlement Agreement; Marital Agreement. A legally enforceable, spousal contract settling all matters.

Generally not referred to as a “divorce agreement” since only the court can grant a divorce. If the parties fail to reach an agreement, the case goes to trial, and the court’s decision and judgment is substituted. Court’s judgments are modifiable based on a “material change in circumstances.” An agreement may be either modifiable or unmodifiable (“surviving”). Typically, these agreements settle issues relating to:

1. Asset and liability division

2. Alimony, health, and life insurance

3. Legal and physical custody, child support, visitation, medical insurance and expenses, and college.

Ex Parte: hearing, motion, order. Ex parte means without notice to, or attendance of, the opposing party.

In response to an ex parte motion, i.e., a motion without notice to the opposing spouse, the court conducts an ex parte hearing without the attendance of the spouse. Based on this hearing , an ex parte order is issued, and the opposing spouse receives notice of the fiat accompli.

Often attachments are issued ex parte to avoid giving notice to the defendant, since, a person who knows his property is about to be attached might quickly sell or mortgage it and secrete the money.

http://www.legalexplorer.com/legal/legal-QA.asp?PositionPoint=13&Sid=13#A7

Can I get divorced if I don't know where my spouse is?

Yes, but you have to show the court that you made reasonable efforts to locate your spouse. You also must publish a notice in a local newspaper in an attempt to inform your spouse that you have started a divorce.

If it is at all possible to find an address, you must attempt to have notice of the divorce action served upon your spouse. The court has no power to order child support or maintenance unless your spouse has been personally served with notice.

How long does it take to get a divorce?

Unless the court makes an exception for an emergency, at least four months (120 days) must pass between the serving of the initial papers and the final hearing. Most divorces take longer than four months. Several factors affect the length of the process: the complexity of the case, the ability of the spouses to agree on the issues, and the amount of other business before the trial court.

A divorce isn't effective until the final hearing. Once the divorce is final, both parties must wait at least six months before marrying other people.

Started now, a divorce with property awarded to you might enable you to sell your home, avoiding foreclosure...

 

[nextwife]

Thus we are back to TALK TO AN ATTORNEY!

Are you in the Milwaukee area?

 

[nextwife]

Again, assuming JOINT ownership of residence

WI is a marital property state.

Her husband cannot sell or mortgage it (with anyone who has enough sense to run a title report, and ALL lenders will, as will all attornies or RE brokers who are even semi competent) WITHOUT her joining in. This is standard practice in WI for the homestead. Nor can she sell or mortgage, right now, without him.

 

[anfran43]

Yes, I'm in the Milwaukee area

To the question of joint ownership - yes, my husband and I own the home jointly - that is us and the bank. I am reasonably sure I can locate him given enough time. I have the locations of the ATM's and merchants where he used our credit cards. I'm assuming he is in that area, which is 1000 miles from where we reside. I considered not closing the accounts just so I could track him that way, but I wasn't sure how much he would spend or withdraw, and I didn't want to risk the chance that he'd clean us out.

 

[nextwife]

Well, you need to get an attorney started NOW. Call tomorrow. Do not delay, this will take awhile. Milwaukee county?

If you wish, write me offlist and I can give you a list of names, if you do not have any clue who you'd want to call. This site is also a resource for attorney names, so you can go to the startpage and check from there.

[email protected]

 

[anfran43]

Thank you for your help

I want to thank those of you who offered the valuable advice. I have in fact located my husband and we have talked. It turns out to be a totally different (although equally upsetting) set of circumstances than I'd imagined. I think I received some very good information here and I appreciate those of you who took the time to respond.