Agreement that allows to take kids outside of US in case of seperation

[NBlue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My Husband and I are both Israeli citizens that live in New York with H1B Visas (work visas).
We moved to the US about a year ago and our plan is to move back to Israel in few years. I didn't want to leave Israel to begin with but I did it for my husband. We are now considering having a child and I am worried that if we decide to separate in the future, I will not be able to take our child back to Israel as he will be an American citizen, and that I’ll get stuck in the US because of it.
I have discussed it with my husband and he agrees to sign a contract which allows me to leave the US with our child in case we separate.
I would like to get some advice on this issue, is such agreement is possible and will be respected by the US court? What happens, for example, if I lose my legal status (H1B visa is limited to 6 years) and we have an American child?

Thank you,
Blue

 

[stealth2]

I wold suggest that your husband insist that you be required to put up a substantial bond, should you take the children to Israel and refuse him time with them. That money will then be made available for his use to fight for his rights. Jurisdiction for custodial issues should remain in the US.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My Husband and I are both Israeli citizens that live in New York with H1B Visas (work visas).
We moved to the US about a year ago and our plan is to move back to Israel in few years. I didn't want to leave Israel to begin with but I did it for my husband. We are now considering having a child and I am worried that if we decide to separate in the future, I will not be able to take our child back to Israel as he will be an American citizen, and that I’ll get stuck in the US because of it.
I have discussed it with my husband and he agrees to sign a contract which allows me to leave the US with our child in case we separate.
I would like to get some advice on this issue, is such agreement is possible and will be respected by the US court? What happens, for example, if I lose my legal status (H1B visa is limited to 6 years) and we have an American child?

Thank you,
Blue

Unfortunately for you, that kind of written contract would likely not be enforceable. Judges make those decisions at the time, based on the best interest of the child. However, in a case where neither parent is a citizen or green card holder, and therefore neither parent can remain permanently in the US, its far more likely you would be allowed to return to your mutual home country with your child.

However, the only 100% guaranteed situation would be to defer having children until you return to Israel.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hello,

My Husband and I are both Israeli citizens that live in New York with H1B Visas (work visas).
We moved to the US about a year ago and our plan is to move back to Israel in few years. I didn't want to leave Israel to begin with but I did it for my husband. We are now considering having a child and I am worried that if we decide to separate in the future, I will not be able to take our child back to Israel as he will be an American citizen, and that I’ll get stuck in the US because of it.
I have discussed it with my husband and he agrees to sign a contract which allows me to leave the US with our child in case we separate.
I would like to get some advice on this issue, is such agreement is possible and will be respected by the US court? What happens, for example, if I lose my legal status (H1B visa is limited to 6 years) and we have an American child?

Thank you,
Blue

Your attitude toward your marriage is such that I, personally, would not have a(nother) child in that relationship.

 

[NBlue]

Your attitude toward your marriage is such that I, personally, would not have a(nother) child in that relationship.

My attitude toward the marriage is the same attitude I have toward everything - hope for the best and prepare for the worst. My husband has no problem with my request as he is very aware of the sacrifices I've made for him when I moved for the states. I have left a VERY good position, my friends and my elderly parents behind so he can chase his dreams. I hate living in New York and the ONLY reason I am here is him. As I said, we have also agreed that we will get back to Israel in few years anyway, which he will not have any reason to honor if we're not together. I am a practical person, people unfortunately do separate sometimes and I can't take the risk of being stuck in a place I hate. I have no intention of separating him from the kids, he could always come back to Israel as well and will be able to see them as much as he wants. I don't care about money, I'm cool with shared custody, all I'm asking is not to be forced to live in a place I hate because I was kind enough to follow my husband there. I think it's fair. Luckily my husband agrees with me.

 

[NBlue]

I wold suggest that your husband insist that you be required to put up a substantial bond, should you take the children to Israel and refuse him time with them. That money will then be made available for his use to fight for his rights. Jurisdiction for custodial issues should remain in the US.

I have no problem with that, I will NEVER separate him from our kids. We also both in very good financial state so we are not concerned about that.

 

[Silverplum]

My attitude toward the marriage is the same attitude I have toward everything - hope for the best and prepare for the worst. My husband has no problem with my request as he is very aware of the sacrifices I've made for him when I moved for the states. I have left a VERY good position, my friends and my elderly parents behind so he can chase his dreams. I hate living in New York and the ONLY reason I am here is him. As I said, we have also agreed that we will get back to Israel in few years anyway, which he will not have any reason to honor if we're not together. I am a practical person, people unfortunately do separate sometimes and I can't take the risk of being stuck in a place I hate. I have no intention of separating him from the kids, he could always come back to Israel as well and will be able to see them as much as he wants. I don't care about money, I'm cool with shared custody, all I'm asking is not to be forced to live in a place I hate because I was kind enough to follow my husband there. I think it's fair. Luckily my husband agrees with me.

He can agree with you today, and fight you next year on the same subject. He'll win.

Legally, you cannot assign custody in the manner you planned.

 

[NBlue]

Unfortunately for you, that kind of written contract would likely not be enforceable. Judges make those decisions at the time, based on the best interest of the child. However, in a case where neither parent is a citizen or green card holder, and therefore neither parent can remain permanently in the US, its far more likely you would be allowed to return to your mutual home country with your child.

However, the only 100% guaranteed situation would be to defer having children until you return to Israel.

Thank you, this is what I was worried about. In few years we will probably have a green card. Will financial penalties be enforceable in case I'm stuck in the states because I can't leave with the child?

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you, this is what I was worried about. In few years we will probably have a green card. Will financial penalties be enforceable in case I'm stuck in the states because I can't leave with the child?

I am not sure what you mean by financial penalties...so I really cannot answer that question. However, if your expectation is to eventually have green cards, then that changes my answer completely.

Your husband is agreeing with you now...now, while any child is just an abstract idea, and not reality. Once the child is born and your husband bonds with the child, he could completely change his mind and no longer agree to you taking the child to Israel. So, yes, if you choose to have children while in the US, then you may be choosing to remain in the US on a permanent basis.

If I were in your shoes I would defer having children until you both return to Israel.

 

[NBlue]

I am not sure what you mean by financial penalties...so I really cannot answer that question. However, if your expectation is to eventually have green cards, then that changes my answer completely.

Your husband is agreeing with you now...now, while any child is just an abstract idea, and not reality. Once the child is born and your husband bonds with the child, he could completely change his mind and no longer agree to you taking the child to Israel. So, yes, if you choose to have children while in the US, then you may be choosing to remain in the US on a permanent basis.

If I were in your shoes I would defer having children until you both return to Israel.

Of course he might change his mind once we have kids, which is why I wanted to have a contract before that happens
By financial penalties I mean something like he will have to pay me X (very high) amount of money as long as I can't go back with our kid(s) to Israel. This way he will be motivated no to fight. Although I'm not sure if that will really work as we do have money... it's a difficult situation.

Thank you,

 

[Silverplum]

Of course he might change his mind once we have kids, which is why I wanted to have a contract before that happens
By financial penalties I mean something like he will have to pay me X (very high) amount of money as long as I can't go back with our kid(s) to Israel. This way he will be motivated no to fight. Although I'm not sure if that will really work as we do have money... it's a difficult situation.

Thank you,

Sometimes, I have to quote myself:

Legally, you cannot assign custody in the manner you planned.

 

[CSO286]

Of course he might change his mind once we have kids, which is why I wanted to have a contract before that happens

Such a contract would be unenforceable.

By financial penalties I mean something like he will have to pay me X (very high) amount of money as long as I can't go back with our kid(s) to Israel.

That is dirty pool as far as I am concerned. I would seriouly question the enforceability of this as well.

And why shouldn't he be permitted to keep the (hypothetical) children in the US?

This way he will be motivated no to fight. Although I'm not sure if that will really work as we do have money... it's a difficult situation.

Thank you,

No, it's really pretty simple. Please don't procreate. For the sake of any future children.

 

[ecmst12]

You can't decide matters of child custody ahead of time. Custody is fluid and can be changed/modified at ANY time based on changing circumstances. If you are worried about what will happen if you split up, DON'T GET PREGNANT until you are secure in your relationship!

 

[FarmerJ]

When a child of yours is born and your both here you can look at what you would need to do to set it up so your child has dual citizenship ( reason being is that when your child becomes a adult it will allow for them to have more options should they wish to live here for a while ) as far as your marriage though, yes things can and do go wrong but I too dont think there is much you can do about it other than going for say longer term implantable birth control or using dual methods of birth control and just prevent it all the way around.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

It is also technically possible the court will order the child stay, even if you both return home. That would, in part, depend on the political situation in Israel at the time. The court is not likely to order a US citizen be sent to a war zone, unless they are capable of making the choice for themselves.